


Stardust

by ALittleLampPost



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Cute, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Might be slightly OOC, Soft Hollstein
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-05 21:14:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 65,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12197550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALittleLampPost/pseuds/ALittleLampPost
Summary: Carmilla is an art student interested in photography at Silas University, where none other than Laura Hollis so happens to study Journalism. A couple of common friends and a determined Laura later, the two embark on the dangerous journey that is a romantic relationship.





	1. What the Ever-Loving Fuck?!

Walking into the on-campus art-studio for her first, and luckily only, class of the day, Carmilla was greeted warmly as always by Perry who was of course already in the room with a seat saved for Carmilla next to her even though there were only three other people in the room.

"Good morning, Carmilla!"

Carmilla, on the other hand, not awake enough to dignify this with a proper response despite the time being nearly 2 in the afternoon, huffed in response. Perry was well used to this by now, so she didn't seem to mind.

"I'm so excited for today's class, aren't you? I feel like I've waited forever for this! But to be fair it's only been a month since our last 'one-tool' class, but today is charcoal, isn't that exciting! I've barely ever used it, I'm so excited to see how everything pans out, I have no idea about any of the properties of charcoal, not really." Perry all but squealed then, "I'm just so excited!"

Carmilla had to let out a small laugh at the giddy and almost childlike excitement, she supposed this could be one of the reasons why she was friends with Perry in the first place. She used the term 'friends' in the loosest sense possible though, after all, Carmilla Karnstein did not have 'friends'. Acquaintances, sure. Did people know of her? She supposed some people might, but did she have friends? People who actually knew her? Not really. She had met Perry during her first week at Silas University, and while Perry almost immediately initiated contact and wouldn't stop talking, Carmilla acted how she always acted towards strangers, rude and offstandish. Perry refused to give up though, and over time Carmilla supposed perhaps they became something along the line of friends. After all, Perry didn't seem to mind Carmilla's general lack of interest, rudeness towards other people (although she suspected Perry did mind sometimes, she just didn't mind enough to say anything), and the limited verbal feedback Carmilla was willing to give at times. In turn, Carmilla didn't mind Perry's quirkiness, her nervous or excited rambles, her OCD-like perfectionism, or her constant need to talk. Their friendship might not be expected or usual, but it works.

"Perry, calm down, will you? It's too early for this much excitement," Carmilla grumbled as she searched her backpack for her sketchbook and some pencils.

"Au contraire, Carmilla, this is exactly the right time for excitement," Perry happily objected.

Shaking her head trying to hide a smile, Carmilla simply replied, "whatever you say," as the professor and the rest of the students came into the room.

\----------------------------------------------

After her class, Carmilla packed up her things as quickly as possible, eager to get into the darkroom in the next room over to develop her most recent camera roll. While she could appreciate all forms of art, and she wasn’t exactly a bad drawer herself, her biggest passion was photography. She came to Silas University for Mrs Morgan Matthews, the renowned photographer-turned-professor. She had been pleased with Carmilla’s work throughout her time at the university, however the previous week as she had been showing off her newest pieces, Mrs Matthews had let slip a comment Carmilla couldn’t ignore, “they’re good Carmilla, really good. But as always they do lack the one crucial thing I’ve been waiting for, they lack emotion.” The comment had lead to a couple of sleepless nights before Carmilla had decided to go out of her way to prove her wrong.

Before Carmilla could escape the world though, Perry placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

“Hang on a sec! Me and LaF were wondering if you wanted to come to lunch with us tomorrow after LaF’s particle accelerator presentation? Laura will also be there so maybe you two can finally meet!”

 _Laura,_ Carmilla thought to herself. She was sure Perry had talked about this girl before but she had no memory of any details, no memories to let her in on who this girl was.

“Laura…?” Carmilla asked sceptically.

Perry rolled her eyes then before lightly punching Carmilla’s arm, “jeez yes, Laura! You know, the journalism major I’ve told you about a million times…? I honestly think you two could really get along.”

Carmilla pretended to think about it for a second, tapping her chin for added effect, even though she knew she was going to say yes if only because she knew Perry wanted to show LaFontaine they have a support system in case the presentation doesn’t go as planned.

Shrugging, she finally said, “sure, why not?”

“Perfect!” Perry grinned and moved to hug Carmilla. Carmilla visibly tensed at the thought of physical contact, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Perry. So instead of a hug, Perry settled for clapping her hands a couple of times in excitement instead, “it will be perfect. I’ll text you the details!”

As Perry then happily skipped off, Carmilla shouldered her bag and made her way to the room next door. It was only when she was in the darkroom setting up her stations that she relaxed and took a deep breath. It hadn’t been more than a couple of weeks into Carmilla’s first semester when she discovered the campus had a darkroom and how calming it, and the process of developing her photos, really was. She would be forever grateful to Perry for telling her about it. 

\----------------------------------------------

On the other side of campus, Laura and LaFontaine were walking down a hall headed towards the science labs so that LaFontaine could finish up their presentation for the next day, while also checking in on their experiments that "may or may not involve kind of a lot of mould.

"So you're coming to lunch tomorrow, right?"

Laura thought for a moment, before sceptically speaking up, "lunch tomorrow…?"

LaFontaine nudged her in the shoulder then, "dude yes, lunch. Tomorrow after my presentation. With Perry. And also maybe Carmilla. If she says yes. Which, let’s face it, she never has before so she probably won't be there...” She trailed off sounding a bit disappointed before recovering and gleefully asking, “but you will, right?"

Laura mentally slapped herself, how could she forget, "oh my God, yes, of course! Of course I'll be there. Although I know you'll be nailing the presentation tomorrow, the board will be blown away by your crazy science inventions!”

LaFontaine raised an eyebrow then, "you don't even know what the presentation is on, do you?"

"What, no, yes, of course I do! You've told me a bunch of times." Laura cringed at her not so convincing comment, "okay, even I could tell how bad that was. I'm sorry, it's not that I don't care, I just have no idea about any science stuff."

LaFontaine laughed then, "it's okay, Laura, I don't expect anyone to understand it, really, let alone care about it. I mean, who really _actually_ cares about particle physics, right?"

"No, I didn't mean it like that, I swear!" When LaF seemed unimpressed Laura sighed, "it's important to you, right?"

LaFontaine huffed, "well yes, of course, that's why I'm doing this presentation. The world needs to know there could be a much better, rebooted, version of a particle accelerator, it’s vital! I mean do you even know the implications an instrument like this, if improved, could have on the future’s paranormal findings? This could be huge!”

"Exactly," Laura smiled, "and that's why it's important to me too. Even if I don't really understand anything."

LaFontaine opened the door to the lab to let the two of them in, "thanks, Laura… So, you'll come to the George's diner tomorrow for lunch?"

"Yes, of course. Now, shall we look at some mould samples? I don't actually want to be here all night."

\----------------------------------------------

The next day, Carmilla woke to her alarm blaring at 10:30am. She grumbled something indecipherable to no one in particular, before grabbing her phone to shut the alarm up.  Why did she agree to this lunch thing again…?

She laid in bed for another five minutes or so before bracing herself and getting up, trudging onward to her closet. She threw on some ripped black jeans, a loose t-shirt and a plaid button-up, before taking a quick look in the mirror. Grimacing slightly at the look of her hair, she tried to tame it a little bit to avoid looking like she just walked out of a tornado, but eventually she gave up and shrugged, "good enough."

She looked at the clock on her wall, _10:46_ , and supposed she should consider being on her way, seeing how she was supposed to meet LaFontaine and Perry at 11. Oh, and that other girl, what’s-her-name. _Laura maybe?_ _Whoever that is.._. With that she quickly brushed her teeth, grabbed her keys and some money before locking up her apartment, heading towards the diner.

\----------------------------------------------

When she got closer to the diner, she spotted Perry outside waiting. Once Perry caught sight of her, she grinned and waved like crazy. Carmilla returned it with a smile, getting the door for the two of them.

"I'm so glad you decided to come, Carmilla! We're the first ones here though, LaF just picked up Laura, so they should be here in five."

Carmilla nodded with the conversation, and when the two were taking a seat in one of the booths, she excused herself for a moment, "hey, Per? I'll be back in a second, just going to the bathroom."

Perry nodded, and Carmilla walked over to the counter to ask where the bathroom was. A waitress vaguely pointed to a corner of the diner, and Carmilla thanked her before heading that direction. Eventually walking through the bathroom door, she first checked all the stalls to make sure no one else was in there before bracing herself on one of the sinks. _It's okay, everything is fine, Carmilla, you're okay._ _You've met LaF plenty of times, and you don't even have to talk! There aren't that many people here anyways, you'll be fine._ She splashed some water in her face before grabbing a paper towel to dry her now wet face. She took one more deep breath before heading for the door. However, just as she was about to pull it towards her it instead all but flung open and hit her square in the face.

"Son of a bitch!” She took a step backwords, “ouch. What the ever-loving _fuck_?" She immediately put a hand to her nose to feel around, trying to determine if it was broken or what. She winced as she touched it, and turned towards the mirror to see her nose turn bluer by the second and a girl standing behind her in shock.

"Oh my gosh, I am _so_ sorry! Are you okay?" The girl tried to carefully put a hand on Carmilla's shoulder only to have it pushed right off before the girl herself was pushed back.

"’Am I okay? _’_ Do I look okay? You basically kicked a door in my face, I mean what the fuck?!"

"I am _so_ sorry, I honestly didn't mean to. I'm just a bit clumsy sometimes, and I should've been more careful, I am so, so, sorry."

"'A _bit_ clumsy'? How about _a lot_ clumsy? Jesus Christ…" Carmilla turned away from the girl then and continued to inspect her nose in the mirror for a second. At least it didn't look broken, just badly bruised. She pushed past the girl who was unintentionally blocking the door as she started sputtering out apologies again, ignoring it and leaving her behind.

She headed for the booth to see LaFontaine had arrived, and she took a deep breath before taking her seat next to Perry again.

"Oh my God, Carmilla, what happened to you?" Perry reached for Carmilla's face only to have Carmilla frown and swat away Perry's prodding hands.

"I'm fine, honestly, it was just this stupid girl in the bathroom, she kicked the door open when I happened to be leaving and it kinda flew right into my face.” Perry reached for her again, only for Carmilla to expertly duck away, “I’m fine, I don’t think it’s broken."

LaFontaine laughed then, earning herself a punch in the arm by Perry, "what? It's funny. This would literally only happen to Carmilla.

Carmilla let out a laugh then, "that is true, isn't it? Anyway, when's this Laura chick coming? I'm starving! Oh, and how was the presentation, LaF? I'm assuming you nailed it as usual?"

“Sweetie, you should probably still go to the ER, you never know. We can take you now if you want to?”

LaFontaine was about to speak up and agree, but just then, the same girl who'd kicked the door open in Carmilla's face came up to their table.

"Hey guys," she smiled brightly and turned her attention to Carmilla, "and you must be- oh shit." Laura's face turned into one of fear for only a second before she recovered. "Uhhh, I mean, you must be Carmilla! It’s so nice to finally meet you."

Carmilla was, as usual, thoroughly unimpressed. Sighing heavily, she threw her head back before saying, "you have got to be fucking kidding me."

Perry and LaFontaine both looked confused, so as Laura took a seat opposite of Carmilla she started explaining, "uhm, I kind of pushed the bathroom door into Carmilla's face it would seem-“ Turning to face Carmilla again, she tried to apologise once more, “I am so sorry about that by the way, I really hope you're okay."

Carmilla could only scoff, "I think you meant to say you kicked the door open and it flew into my face making this happen." She gestured vaguely to her now dark purple nose that she was still holding paper to in order to stop the nose bleed.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that, I'm just so clumsy-"

"Oh wow, major déjà vu here. If my memory serves me right, we already did this bit back in the bathroom, didn’t we?"

"Well yes, but I feel really bad and I just wanted to-"

"What? Apologise? I think you've done that already," Carmilla didn't mean to get upset or angry, but she really was tired of this girl apologising to her. After all, what was she supposed to do with an apology? How could an apology make anything better?

"Okay, well maybe I wanted to do it again then. I'm sor-"

"Oh, please. Just save it. The only reason you’re apologising is to make yourself feel better, and seeing how you nearly broke my nose just then, you don't get to not feel bad right now."

"Carmilla, please," Perry tried to interrupt, but neither Laura not Carmilla was having it.

In unison, they both turned towards Perry to say, "stay out of it Perry."

Perry held her hands up in surrender, and LaFontaine could only give her a supporting smile, letting the other two bicker on.

"But seriously, what is your deal?" Laura returned her attention to Carmilla, "I'm just trying to be a decent human being and apologise, something you clearly don't know how to do."

"Wow," Carmilla started, "that's rich. I guess being the goody two-shoes you are, you've never encountered someone who doesn't immediately like you, have you? What, you think just because you can tell me you're sorry I'll immediately forgive you and cater to your every need? Hate to break it to you, but it doesn't actually work like that out here in the real world, cupcake."

Laura gritted her teeth, crossed her arms, and spat back at her, "you don't know anything about me."

Carmilla rolled her eyes then, "whatever you say." She turned her attention back to Perry and LaFontaine for a minute to excuse herself once again, "Perry, I'm sorry, I should go. LaF, I know you crushed it today, there’s no way your improved proton accelerator didn’t just completely blow their minds. Send me over the details tonight, please? I’d love to hear what the responses were and potential future productions of course. I’m sorry about this."

Perry was about to protest, but Carmilla simply waved her off, and with that she was out the door and making her way to a café down the roads to get some much needed coffee, and something that could be counted as substantial enough to be called a breakfast.

Left behind was a sulking Laura who was immediately regretting her reactions. She knows she didn’t _really_ do anything wrong, but she can’t help but berate herself for not knowing better. For not knowing that biting back wouldn’t make her feel better, it would only make her feel worse.

“Oh, cheer up, Laura! Carmilla is just a bit…” Perry thought for a moment then.

“Rude? Mean? Angry?” Laura was, of course, happy to provide alternatives.

Letting out a laugh, Perry shook her head, “no, she’s just a bit guarded. She needs some time, but she’ll get there. You'll see, she's not really so bad.”

Laura didn’t answer, but her mind was working on high speed trying to think of how she could make it up to Carmilla. There had to be a way, _there’s always a way._


	2. I Share My Cookies All the Time

Carmilla's anger faded the further away she got from the diner, and by the time she made it to the café where she was getting coffee she was wondering what it actually was that she was feeling. She considered for a moment that it might be guilt or even regret, but the thought of that made her slightly confused and somewhat uncomfortable. Why did she feel sorry for her behaviour? Why would she feel guilty? She didn’t even know this girl, and she was right to get upset after having a door slammed in her face. Fine, maybe she didn’t mean to do it, but it still happened. Shaking her head, Carmilla decided to put it out of her mind. It wasn’t like she’d have to ever see this girl again anyway, so there was no need for addressing these weird feelings, whatever they were.

She entered the café and walked straight into the bathroom there to clean up her face. Removing the paper she had been holding to her nose she found it had stopped bleeding, and she was also still relatively sure nothing was broken. She carefully splashed some water in her face, because although not broken, her nose was definitely bruised and touching it was not very comfortable. After having cleaned her face, Carmilla looked down to see some blood had ran down her face and stained her shirt.

"Fucks sake," she grumbled and buttoned up her shirt in hopes it would hide it, and make her seem less morbid. It worked enough that she figured no one would question it too much, and with that she left the bathroom to order her coffee and lunch.

"Hi, what can get for you today?" The cashier asked, smiling annoyingly brightly at Carmilla.

Carmilla looked at her incredulously for a moment before replying, "a coffee, black, and a chicken sandwich. And I'm taking it with me."

"Sure thing! Now, can I have your name, please?"

"Dan."

The cashier laughed, "uhm, isn't that a boys name?"

"Bite me."

The cashier faltered for only a moment before straightening up and smiling just as brightly as before. "okey-dokey! It'll be with you in a minute, if you'd just like to wait further down by the corner, please," the cashier said while laughing nervously.

Carmilla only rolled her eyes before walking over to the corner of the counter to wait for her food.

\----------------------------------------------

It was later in the day when Carmilla was laying on her couch reading, that she received a text message from an unknown number.

 **Unknown:** Hey! Perry gave me your number, I hope you don't mind… I'm sorry about before, I just wanted to check in and see if you were OK.

Immediately after she read the first message another one came through.

 **Unknown:** This is Laura, by the way. The girl who kicked that door in your face… I'm sorry.

Carmilla couldn't help but laugh a little at the messages, this girl really needed to get over herself. Carmilla figured she had made herself clear enough back in the diner though, so she simply put her phone back down and ignored the text all together.

It wasn't more than ten minutes later when she received yet another text.

 **Unknown:** I know you said I'd already apologised, but I really am sorry. Please let me know if there's anything I can do! I know maybe we didn't start off on the best of terms, but Perry and LaF really seems to think we'd get along and I have no reason to not believe them… I'm not normally as horrible as I was back there, I promise.

Carmilla immediately put her phone back down, only for it to make a sound not even a minute later, "oh come on…"

 **Unknown:** I don't blame you if your mad at me, I did, after all, kick a door in your face…

Before Carmilla could put the phone down this time, another message came in.

 **Unknown:** I'm an idiot.

Carmilla smirked at the last one, thinking to herself, _that you are._ Regardless, she did save the number. _Just in case._

\----------------------------------------------

As Carmilla and Perry left class the following afternoon, they were met by LaFontaine and Laura waiting outside their classroom. Perry greeted the two of them, while Carmilla remained expressionless. Laura immediately straightened up at the sight of Carmilla, before smiling at her and giving her an awkward wave.

"Carmilla! Hey, hi, how uhh how's it going?"

Carmilla raised her eyebrows at her, as if she was expecting her to continue speaking, before shaking her head and pushing past her.

"Yeah, alright, cool… I'll see you later then!" Laura all but yelled after her as she walked away. She turned to face the wall before leaning her head against it and sighing in defeat.

She felt a hand on her shoulder shortly after, "lighten up, kid, she's warming up to you, I can tell."

Despite the sincerity in LaFontaine's voice just then, both Laura and Perry laughed, "yeah," Laura started, "clearly she's crazy about me."

\----------------------------------------------

The same thing happened every day the rest of the week and the following week, until Friday rolled around yet again with a particularly boring lecture.

"Psst. Hey, LaF and I are going to the library after this to study," Perry whispered, "do you want to come along? I could really use your help with the philosophy paper that's due next week, you're so much better than me at that stuff."

Carmilla shrugged, "sure, okay."

Perry grinned, "you're the best, thanks!"

Not long after, the professor wrapped up the lecture and let his students go. Carmilla and Perry packed up their things before heading out, and while she had been informed that LaFontaine would be joining them, she did not expect Laura to be waiting outside the room with them when she and Perry walked out. She stopped dead in her tracks, trying to think of a way to get out of this situation. She assumed it was after the other three had said their hello's and what not that Perry nudged her.

"You coming? I really do need your help with that philosophy paper, I have no idea what's going on."

Carmilla had completely forgotten about how she had agreed to help Perry out with that, and seeing how she left rather abruptly the last time they hung out she felt like she owed her at least that much. "Yeah, sorry, of course."

While Perry, LaFontaine and Laura were engaged in some nonsensical conversation about one thing or another, Carmilla was lagging a bit behind.  She still wasn't sure this was a great idea, she still wasn't sure if she was actually angry with Laura anymore or if she was just angry instead of allowing herself to feel guilty. As if on cue, Laura then came to walk next to Carmilla.

"Hey, are you still angry with me?" Laura carefully asked.

Carmilla took a moment to think about it, trying to form an answer, but before she had time to come up with anything acceptable, Laura continued.

"Because it's okay if you are, I totally understand. But I really didn't mean to do it, I really am very sorry." Carmilla laughed a little bit then, and Laura was quick to jump to conclusions, "oh… So you are still mad at me, that's okay."

They walked a little bit in silence then, Laura sulking a bit and Carmilla thinking. Eventually Carmilla sighed and decided to break her near two week silent streak, "I'm not sure."

Laura's eyes went wide, had Carmilla actually talked to her? Before she could answer, however, Carmilla had something else to say.

"Do I still not like you? Not yet, no. Am I angry you slammed a door in my face? Maybe. But do I know you didn't do it on purpose? Yeah. So am I _actually_ still angry? I'm not sure."

Laura couldn't help the grin that spread across her face, "that's okay, I'll take it."

Although Carmilla wasn't really on board with all this blinding optimism yet, she couldn't help but supress a little smile herself. Maybe this girl wasn't _as_ _bad_ as she had initially thought, at least she was trying, right?

\----------------------------------------------

The hours spent in the library hadn't been as bad as Carmilla had initially thought it would be. She and Perry had been working on Perry's philosophy paper, and LaFontaine and Laura had really just been sitting with them doing their own thing. They had come to a point now though, where Perry was exhausted, and LaFontaine had started asking Perry around an hour ago when they were going to leave because they were hungry.

"Alright," Carmilla started after LaFontaine had asked for what felt like the hundredth time if they could leave, "let's just leave it for today. Your ginger twin is obviously starving, and it looks like it just might be your responsibility to feed them. We can pick this back up on Monday if you want?"

Perry laughed, "sure, Carmilla, thanks."

Everyone started packing up their books and things, except Carmilla who unpacked a book and sat back to start reading.

"What are you doing, you're not coming with us?" Laura asked curiously.

"Nah, I'm good, thanks."

Laura looked at her incredulously for a moment, they had been there for nearly four hours, how was this girl not starving? She opened her mouth to point this out, but Perry stopped her, whispering in her ear.

"She's fine, just let her be."

Laura thought for a moment before whispering back, "but we've been here for four hours, isn't she starving?"

Perry shrugged before turning to face LaFontaine who was waiting patiently, taking their hand before they started making their way through the shelves of stacked books.

When Perry and LaFontaine was our of earshot, Carmilla looked over her book to find Laura still standing there, seemingly at war with her internal self. She cleared her throat to catch the girls attention before raising an eyebrow.

When Laura didn't say anything, Carmilla did, "can I help you…?" She asked sarcastically.

Shaking her head quickly, Laura spun on her heel and took a few careful steps away from Carmilla before sighing and turning back around. Carmilla, who was watching this whole ordeal in amusement shook her head and returned her attention to her book.

A good few seconds passed before Laura took the two steps back to the table where Carmilla was sat reading. She placed her bag on the table before opening it and starting to rummage through it. Eventually Carmilla assumed she found what she was looking for as she made an "aha" like noise.

"Here," Laura started, placing a small bag of cookies down in front of Carmilla. "You know, in case you ever do get hungry." And with that she turned around once again and left the library.

Outside the library stood both Perry and LaFontaine, waiting in excitement.

"So…?" LaFontaine asked curiously.

Laura looked at her funnily then, "what?"

LaFontaine rolled her eyes, "Carmilla, dummy! What happened?"

Laura shrugged, "nothing, I just left her my cookies an-" She was interrupted by both Perry and LaFontaine gasping in disbelief. Laura sighed, "okay now what?"

LaFontaine and Perry looked at each other knowingly, before Perry turned to Laura again, "sweetie, you never share your cookies."

"Pfft, what? Sure I do!" She shook her head at the two of them, "I share my cookies all the time actually." This earned her a laugh from LaFontaine, "ugh just come on, lets go get some food or something."

She made to leave, but LaFontaine was having none of it, "nono, hang on a second! No. Okay? No, you never share your cookies with anyone, that's unheard of. And I mean, cookie monster is like your God or something… But that's besides the point! The point is that you gave Carmilla your cookies. Never in my two years of knowing you have I ever seen you just simply give away your cookies for no reason."

"Hey!" Laura protested loudly before in a calmer voice adding, "I had a reason. It was in case she got hungry, you know?"

Before this could escalate further Perry broke in, "okay, Laura, sure. Now let's go get some food, I thought you guys were hungry?"

\----------------------------------------------

Laura was in the middle of dinner with LaFontaine and Perry when her phone beeped. Curious, she fished it out of her pocket to see what it was. Her eyes went wide and she all but spat out her food when she saw who it was from.

"Oh my God," she said to no one in particular, before repeating it involuntarily a second later, a little louder this time, "oh my GOD!"

"WHAT?" LaFontaine asked back, just as loudly.

Laura shook her head and tried to hide her smile, "nothing, sorry, I don't know what happened."

After looking at her like she was crazy for a moment, LaFontaine and Perry both shrugged and figured it really was nothing. Meanwhile, Laura opened the message.

 **Carmilla:** Thanks for the cookies.

Unable to stop the grin that was spreading on her face then, Laura eagerly texted her reply without trying to seem as thrilled as she actually was that Carmilla had initiated some form of contact with her.

 **Laura:** Any time.

\----------------------------------------------

Across town, Carmilla smiled down at her phone at Laura's reply. She knew it was nothing to actually be excited about, heck, she didn't even know why she was so excited. She didn't even know this girl, not really, but the wheels in her head had been turning more than usual after they met. Carmilla suspected she was just curious, wanting to know why Laura was nice, why she wanted to know Carmilla. And it wasn't as if she'd never had a friend before, but still she couldn't help but think this was different somehow. Maybe Laura was different.


	3. It's OK

Carmilla had spent the weekend thinking. She had been thinking about her upcoming meeting with Mrs Matthews, coming up with new ways to convince her there is actually emotion in the pictures, she's just not seeing them. She was aware it would be a long shot considering Mrs Matthews previous career, but she was willing to do anything at this point. Besides this, Carmilla had also been thinking about Laura. About their last encounter, and about the texts. First of all, why did Laura leave her the cookies? And after that, why had she felt so compelled to tell Laura she appreciated her gesture - enough so to actually go ahead and text her? She hypothesised for a moment that the whole thing, all the questions and doubt, might just be curiosity. After all, she didn't really know Laura. She assumed a lot of things about her, but she didn't actually know.

That's why, when Monday morning came around, Carmilla was stood outside Laura's classroom before her own classes, because she knew this was Laura's last class of the day.

\----------------------------------------------

Laura was the last to exit her classroom, checking her phone on her way out. She wouldn't admit it if anyone asked, but she had maybe been checking her phone more often than usual ever since Carmilla had texted her that one time on Friday. She saw she'd gotten some messages from LaFontaine and missed a call from her dad, but nothing from Carmilla. She sighed and pocketed her phone, thinking maybe it was just a one time thing and Carmilla hadn't really forgiven her yet. But then wasn't three weeks a bit too long to hold a grudge for something that wasn't even really her fault? _I mean, shit happens and then it passes, it's forgotten. Right…?_

Distracted by her thoughts, she wasn't paying attention as she walked out, unintentionally walking right into someone.

"Oh my God," she started, before looking up and seeing Carmilla stood with a smirk planted on her face. A small smile involuntarily made its way to Laura's face, "Carmilla! Hi, what uhh, what are you doing here?" She tried not to come off as rude or too surprised, but to be fair, she was pretty surprised to find Carmilla outside her classroom.

"I'm here to  make nice." She practically rolled her eyes at herself, "or something…"

"Oh! Okay…?" Laura was unsure of what to say, unsure if she was supposed to say anything at all if she were being honest.

Carmilla sighed heavily and briefly considered whether she should just turn around and leave of not, but she shook her head slightly, thinking it was a bad idea to do so, and decided to follow through. "I guess I might have been kind of an ass."

Laura snorted loudly then, _well that's an understatement_ , she thought.

"Know what," Carmilla said as she was shaking her head, "just forget it, this is stupid."

Laura was quick to recover then, "nono, I'm sorry, I just uhh, I just thought of something funny. Something else."

Carmilla narrowed her eyes at her, seeing right through it, but deciding to stay none the less. She rolled her eyes again before continuing, "although I had every right to be pissed, because you kicked a door in my face, I guess I'm sorry or whatever."

Laura raised her eyebrows then, and answered with an amused expression on her face, "was that it? Was that you apologising to me? I'm only asking because that was pretty bad."

Carmilla was _this close_ to actually stomping her foot then, but she settled on instead throwing her head back and groaning in frustration. She turned around abruptly and made to leave, only for Laura to stop her.

"BUT!" Laura started, grabbing Carmilla's wrist to stop her from going any further, "I'll take it." After a moment she sighed reluctantly added, "and I'm sorry too."

Carmilla furrowed her brows and looked down to where Laura's hand was still attached to her arm. She stared at it in disbelief for a moment before Laura caught up and reacted, retracting her hand so fast one could think she had just burnt herself.

"Shit, sorry," Laura mentally slapped herself. She remembered in the bathroom when she first tried to put a hand on Carmilla's shoulder, and how Carmilla had immediately pushed it away and then pushed her away too. Perry had told her it was just because Carmilla didn't really like physical contact with other people, and yet here Laura was, just reaching out and grabbing her arm. Like it was nothing. _God, I am such an idiot_ , she thought to herself, immediately regretting her actions.

She was about to apologise again when Carmilla cleared her throat a little, put her hands in her pockets, and shook her head.

"It's okay." Honestly, Carmilla wasn't entirely sure if she was saying that to herself or Laura. Either way, it seemed to do the trick.

Laura looked at Carmilla for a second, trying to find out if it really was okay. After a moment of awkward silence, Laura hadn't seen anything that indicated Carmilla wasn't actually okay, so she nodded slowly, "okay."

Another minute of silence passed before Carmilla remembered why she was there.

"So," she started, breaking the silence, "do you want to get some coffee or something?"

Laura could feel the butterflies in her stomach coming to life just then, Carmilla actually wanted to spend time with her. She tried not to seem too excited, settling on an easy smile, "that sounds great."

\----------------------------------------------

The two had walked to a little café just outside campus where Laura swore they had "the best hot chocolate you will ever have", which was more than enough to convince Carmilla.

"So you're going to try the hot chocolate, right?" Laura asked excitedly as they stood in line waiting.

"Well I kinda have to, don't I? With your raving review I don’t see how I'm supposed to want anything else."

Laura laughed, and grinned at Carmilla, "you won't regret it, I promise."

Carmilla shook her head fondly. How anyone could be this excited over hot chocolate was a mystery to her, just like how Laura's laugh made her feel funny was a mystery.

Before she had any time to think more about it, they were being served.

"What can I get you guys today?" The guy behind the counter asked.

"Two hot chocolates, please," Laura asked sweetly before turning to Carmilla, "anything else?"

Carmilla shook her head and when the guy said how much it was she handed him a five before Laura could do anything about it.

Laura didn't say anything right away, waiting until they were a few steps away to turn to Carmilla, "you didn't have to do that you know…"

"I know," Carmilla nodded, "but I wanted to."

Unable to stop the smile that spread across her face Laura simply nodded in response.

"And you know," Carmilla started, "you can always get the next one."

"The next one?"

"Yeah, the next one. You know, the next time we do this."

Laura's smile turned into a grin then, there was going to be a next time. She nodded somewhat frantically, "yes, of course, sure. Next time."

Their drinks arrived then and they went to sit at a table by one of the windows.

"So," Laura started, "your nose looks all healed up… It wasn't broken, right?"

_Always so worried,_ Carmilla thought. "No, it wasn't broken," she started, but changed her mind, "well, I don't actually know that, I'm just assuming it wasn't. I never actually saw anyone about it."

"Oh. Well it looks better anyway…"

Carmilla shrugged before taking a sip of her hot chocolate, humming in appreciation, "oh my God."

Laughing, Laura took a sip of her own before agreeing, "yup, still the best hot chocolate in town."

Carmilla actually smiled then, and Laura was sure the butterflies in her stomach were doubling by the second, ready to just burst out of her any second now. She wasn't sure what exactly it was that drew her to Carmilla, but she couldn't deny the way being around Carmilla made her more nervous and fidgety than usual. Although her first impression of the other girl wasn't the best it could have been, as she was seeing more of the Carmilla that was sat in front of her now, she couldn't help but think there was so much more to her than the angry girl she first met, maybe she wasn't all that bad.

The two fell into an easy-going conversation, mostly talking about how they met Perry and LaFontaine, Carmilla also learning that Laura actually currently lived with LaFontaine. For the better part of it Carmilla's usually disinterested demeanour was replaced by a genuine interest in what Laura had to say, be it something about her classes or a tv-show, Carmilla seemed to be really listening, even smiling every now and again. And although Laura ended up carrying most of the conversation for a while, she didn't seem to mind. Things never got more awkward than Laura's initial comment on Carmilla's healed up nose, instead, it turned into something more comfortable and relaxed.

Both having long forgotten about time and any prior commitments, Carmilla furrowed her brows and picked her phone out of her pocket when it suddenly started ringing. Seeing it was Perry calling, she briefly looked to Laura who nodded for her to go ahead, before answering.

"Perry, what's up? …. Uhmmm, one moment please," she turned to Laura then, "you wouldn't happen to know what time it is, would you?"

Laura looked at her watch, "almost three, why?"

Carmilla's eyes widened, "shit," before getting back to Perry, "Perry? Yeah, no-…. Perry, focus! What were yo-… Oh my God yes, okay? Yes, I'm with Laura. Now can we please get back on track?”

Laura laughed from across the table, she could only imagine how Perry was teasing Carmilla over the phone. Come to think of it, she could only imagine how LaFontaine would be teasing her later, surely Perry would tell them about this. What would she even say in response? Carmilla wanted to apologise so they went out for hot chocolate and ended up talking for hours because it turns out somehow they actually really enjoy being the other’s company? Was she supposed to just say that they and Perry had been right, and maybe Laura was starting to really like Carmilla? Just like that? Because that would honestly be-

“Hey,” Carmilla waved her hands in front Laura’s face to get her out of whatever she was in the middle of, “Laura! You in there?”

Laura blinked a couple of times before shaking her head lightly, “Sorry, what?”

"I was just saying how that was Perry calling to tell me I'm late for class. A class that started an hour ago." Carmilla was already standing up, putting her jacket back on, "and I hate to leave you here, cupcake, but I really do have to go, I'm supposed to be meeting my professor after class."

Laura's face fell then, she really didn't want this to end. Instead of giving up so easily, she stood as well, grabbing her jacket, "oh, that's okay! I could just walk with you back to campus? I am heading that way anyway…"

Carmilla shrugged, "sure, why not?"

\----------------------------------------------

When they got back to campus, Carmilla stopped outside the door to her classroom, turning to face Laura.

"Well, this is it."

Laura sighed, "yeah, I guess it is…"

They both stood in silence for a moment before both speaking up at the same time.

"So I should-"

"Carmilla, I jus-"

They both laughed, before Carmilla gestured for Laura to go first.

"I just wanted to say I had a really great time with you this afternoon. I'm starting to think maybe it wasn't such a bad thing I kicked that door in your face."

Carmilla laughed, "hah, yeah right. I still wish you hadn't, but I guess it got us here, right?" Another moment of silence passed, "well I really should get in there, try to make it seem like I was in there the whole time and avoid trouble."

"Right, yes, of course. I'll just wait out here for Perry, LaF said she'd be coming over after her classes today anyway, so we can just walk together..."

Carmilla nodded and moved to open the door before Laura stopped her.

"Wait!" She spoke up before she'd had much time to think about it, and it caught her a bit by surprise if she was being honest. "Uhh, just uhh, I mean, good luck! With the professor you're seeing and what not."

Carmilla just nodded before entering the room.

Laura sighed and leaned against the wall behind her. She knew today couldn't last forever, after all, nothing lasts forever. But she was already excited about the next time she'd be seeing Carmilla.

\----------------------------------------------

Around fifteen minutes later, Perry walked out of the classroom, surprised to find Laura there.

"Laura, hey! What are you doing here?"

Laura shrugged, "LaF told me you'd be coming over for dinner after your classes, and I just happened to be here, so I figured we could just walk together?" When Perry nodded absentmindedly, seemingly deep in thought, Laura had to ask, "what?"

Shaking her head, Perry smiled, "nothing, I was just thinking."

"Clearly… I was asking about what?"

"Nothing really, just… Weren't you with Carmilla earlier?"

_Of course,_ Laura thought, immediately regretting her questioning nature, "I was, yes. Until you called her…"

"Oh," Perry started, unable to ignore the disappointment she heard in Laura's voice. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to check in on her when she didn't show up for class."

"No, don't worry about it, it had already been like three hours or something, it's okay."

Perry raised her eyebrows, "three hours?"

Laura sighed, "yes, three hours, okay? A while… It turns out she's not all bad."

"I knew it!" Perry exclaimed, "I knew you two would like each other!"

"There's no way this won't reach LaF is there?" When Perry only shook her head, Laura rolled her eyes, "Fine… Now shall we?"

\----------------------------------------------

Around a week later, it was Laura who was waiting for Carmilla outside her classroom. She had been thinking about it, and last night she had texted Carmilla asking if she wanted to get coffee or food sometime and Carmilla had asked if Laura was good for today. Laura being Laura, she had said yes, completely ignoring the fact that one of her papers were due the following day. She's rather be with Carmilla than write some stupid paper anyway, and she was aware that maybe that was a bad thing, yes, but at the time she didn't really care.

When people started coming out of the room, Laura straightened up and waited in anticipation. Eventually Perry came out, and Laura was sure Carmilla would be following closely behind.

"Laura? What are you doing here?" Perry asked.

Laura looked behind Perry to find that nobody else seemed to be exiting the classroom. She sighed, "well, I'm supposed to be meeting Carmilla, but seeing as she's not here I'm not sure…?"

"Oh, our professor asked to see her. She's still in there, I'm sure it'll only be a minute."

"Oh!" Laura's face lit up again, "okay, great!"

Perry couldn't help but laugh a little at the other girl's enthusiasm, "do you want me to wait with you, or..?"

Laura shook her head, "no, that's okay, I'm sure she'll be out in a minute. Besides, LaF was telling me earlier that you two are going out tonight?" She raised her eyes suggestively.

"Oh, yes! I was just told to be ready by 6 and to wear something nice… The last time LaF said that they took me to a really fancy place downtown, so I'm really excited."

"That sounds great, Perry, have fun!"

They said their goodbyes, and as Perry was walking away, Laura couldn't help herself.

"Oh, don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Perry only laughed in response, waving over her shoulder. Laura leaned back against the wall then, still waiting for Carmilla.

\----------------------------------------------

After around fifteen minutes, a woman walked out of the room. Laura assumed that was the professor Carmilla was meeting with, so she figured Carmilla would be out in just a second.

When a second turned into a minute that turned into three, Laura carefully opened the already ajar door, finding Carmilla sitting alone by the first row of desks.

"Hey," Laura said as she neared Carmilla, making the other girl jump slightly and turn around.

She quickly looked away again, whispering a few selected expletives while wiping furiously at her face.

Laura furrowed her brows, taking a seat next to her. She wasn't sure if she was okay to touch Carmilla unannounced yet, so she decided against it, settling for just asking the stupid questions. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be? I just got something in my eye is all, it's not a big deal."

Laura was still sceptical, but she decided not to push it too far. She looked at the book that was open in front of Carmilla then, seeing the most beautiful photos, "woah." She was completely mesmerised, and she tried to reach for a picture when Carmilla suddenly reacted, closing the book and stuffing it in her backpack. Laura was a bit taken aback, but managed to get out, "Carmilla, those are really good, they're so beautiful."

Carmilla huffed, "yeah right. They're garbage. All of them. Completely useless trash."

Laura's brows furrowed again then, "what, no? They're really really good."

"No, they're not. My professor was very clear in what she said, they're not good."

"Uhm, what? Is she on crack? Was she looking at the same pictures I was? Because what I saw was not trash."

Carmilla sighed, "you don't understand, there's no emotion in the pictures or whatever… They're flat, boring, they show nothing, mean nothing! Not to anyone."

That's when it dawned on Laura, Carmilla had showed these to her professor only for what's-her-name to completely dismiss all of it. She decided to go against her better judgement then, and put a hand over Carmilla's, "hey. She's not all that, you know? Those pictures were really great, her opinion is just one of many.

Carmilla froze for a moment at the unexpected contact, but she found herself relaxing soon enough, not really minding Laura's hand on hers. As a matter of fact, she found it kind of nice. She sighed again, "but hers is the only opinion that matters, isn't it?"

Laura almost laughed a little then, "are you asking me or are you telling me it is?"

"I don't really know," Carmilla admitted.

"Look, her opinion matters when it comes to grades, sure, and that's very subjective. But when it comes to the actual quality of the photos, who's she to talk? She's probably just some failed photographer anyway…"

It was Carmilla who laughed then, "failed? No, Laura, she used to be a really good professional photographer before she became a teacher, hoping to 'pass on some valuable knowledge to us youngsters' as she put it."

"Oh," Laura almost winced at that, "right." She thought for a moment about what she could do to make this situation just a little bit more bearable for Carmilla, coming up with what she considered a more than decent plan. "Hey. Why don't we go over to my place, LaF is out for the night, and we can order some takeout, watch some crappy movies, and before you know it you'll have forgotten all about this!"

Carmilla seriously doubted she'd forget about this in the near future, but if she was being honest, Laura's idea didn't seem like the worst of ideas. And she did still want to spend time with her, so really, what was stopping her? "That actually doesn't sound half bad."

Grinning, Laura stood up, "yes, I sometimes have somewhat decent ideas. So let's go kill some brain cells with stupid TV!"

Carmilla packed up all of her things and got up, "right. Lead the way, creampuff."

\----------------------------------------------

When they were walking to Laura and LaFontaine's apartment, Carmilla thought maybe she should try to lighten up some and get her mind off her _crap pictures that mean nothing to anyone, that would never be anything to anyone_. Okay, so maybe she was still hung up on Mrs. Matthews comments where she for the third time in a month told her repeatedly how empty and meaningless her photos were. But there was still time to turn it around, so in an attempt to get her mid off of it, she tried to get Laura to talk about something so she wouldn't have to.

"So," she started, breaking the silence, "why do you want to be a journalist anyway?"

Laura thought about it for a second, considering her options. She could either A, lie and come up with a bullshit reason. She could B, twist the truth a little bit to avoid any awkward 'too much information too soon' moments. Or C, the most likely to happen, she could tell the truth and come what may.

"I guess living in a house where the normal way of communicating was through a boatload of lies, I eventually learned to appreciate the truth. Journalism was always appealing to me because after having spent my life searching for the truth and spotting lies I became decent at it and I figured I might as well try to make a career out of it!” She laughed awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh,” Carmilla started, a bit unsure what to say. “That’s uhh, that’s-“

“Nothing like what you thought?” Laura laughed.

Thinking for a moment, Carmilla eventually answered, "honestly no. I was thinking it was more along the lines of ‘justice for all’ or ‘the truth at every cost, no matter what’.” Laura raised her eyebrows in amusement, “but then like you said, I don’t- didn’t. I didn’t know anything about you.”

Laura nodded, “yeah, and I didn't really know anything about you… why do you study art?”

Carmilla huffed, “I don’t study art, I study photography. A couple art classes now and then just so happens to be part of the course. Why in the hell would I study something as insensible as painting? No, I do photography, thank you very much.”

She didn’t mean to get so defensive about it, honest, but it was kind of a sore topic.

Laura held her hands up in surrender, “alright, photography, got it. So, why photography?”

"My father was a photographer. A really good one too… I used to think the world of him. On the particularly difficult days he would take me camping in the woods where I'd just run around, doing everything I wasn't supposed to do, and my dad would just let me be, taking his pictures. He used to describe what taking a picture was like, what went in to it you know? He used to say I couldn't go into his office without him there, that I wasn't allowed to touch any of the expensive cameras he had in fear I'd just break them all, but he didn't really have to teach me photography, not really… Because it turned out I was pretty good at it! Well, I thought I was pretty good at it, but I guess I've been proved wrong now, haven't I?" She laughed a little, "I used to hate being a kid. But it turns out being an adult might just be worse."

"Amen to that," Laura agreed, "adulthood actually kind of sucks."

They both laughed then, and having made it to Laura's place, Laura let them both in. Walking inside, Carmilla took in the apartment that was definitely Laura's. It was kind of messy, but in a homey way, it was decorated with science posters, courtesy of LaFontaine she imagined, and sci-fi and fantasy movie posters. She recognised a couple of paintings on one of the walls, something Perry had painted in class or for projects. In the end, she couldn't help but think that everything she could see seemed pure and honest, like it was there for very specific reasons. It was probably the most homey home she'd ever been in.

"Huh, nice place you've got here. It's very… Homey. I like it."

Laura smiled widely, "thanks, I'm glad you do."

\----------------------------------------------

Around an hour later, their food had arrived, and they were sat on the couch watching a Disney movie Carmilla didn't really know what was because Laura had insisted they watch it. All Carmilla really knew when she thought about it was that the girl in the movie must have been schizophrenic, because there was a talking teapot and some other usually inanimate objects talking and walking around. _Crazy…_ Other than that, she was becoming aware of how much she actually seemed to like Laura, how much she liked spending time with her. Especially seeing how she seemed to be willing to do just about anything Laura asked of her.

By the end of the movie, the two of them had somehow ended up sitting much closer than they initially did. And when Laura suggested they just put on another movie, Carmilla immediately agreed, too comfortable not to, really. After Laura made pop corn and put on the next movie, she sat down again, significantly closer to Carmilla this time. While Carmilla was sat cross legged facing the screen, Laura had her feet up on the coffee table in front of them, sitting close enough that their knees bumped into one another. It wasn't too long into the movie when Laura looked at Carmilla, trying to foresee what would happen if she were to move even closer. Carmilla seemed too focused on the movie playing to notice though, so when Laura put her head down on her shoulder Carmilla immediately froze.

Laura noticed Carmilla tensing up and she immediately moved to life her head, already thinking of a way to apologise, when Carmilla spoke up.

"You don't have to move," she was still facing the TV as she spoke, "I mean unless you want to. I'm just saying I'm plenty comfortable like this."

Laura smiled a little and laid her head back on Carmilla's shoulder. It did take a few minutes, but eventually Carmilla seemed to relax completely again, and Laura couldn't help the smile that graced her face. She somehow felt very privileged getting to do this when Perry couldn't even hug her.

Towards the end of the movie, Carmilla couldn't help but think how nice this was. She was completely comfortable, and she didn't really mind at all how close Laura was. She turned her head slightly to see Laura having closed her eyes, seemingly asleep.

"Laura," she whispered, checking to see if she was actually asleep. When Laura stayed completely still, Carmilla assumed she was correct in thinking Laura had actually fallen asleep.

She wasn't completely sure what she was supposed to do, but scared to wake the other girl she stayed very still. Carmilla laid her head back on the couch, yawning, thinking how tired she was too, it had been a long, ironically enough emotional, day. No more than a few minutes passed before Carmilla's own eyes felt heavy, and she felt unable to keep them open at a certain point. She looked at Laura one last time before drifting off to sleep herself, a small smile playing on her lips.


	4. It's a Win-Win Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the near three week break, but sometimes life just happens. It has been a busy few weeks at uni, and this will probably happen again, so I'm sorry in advance! Hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Laura awoke with a jolt when she heard the door to her apartment being closed. She looked over the back of the couch not sure what to expect, releasing a sigh of relief when she sees it's just LaFontaine coming in. She sank back into her previous position, snuggling into what she now realises is Carmilla. She immediately sat back up, looking at Carmilla for a moment. Carmilla was sat in an upright position, feet on the table, and head leant back against the couch in a way that looked anything but comfortable.

LaFontaine walked around the couch, about to throw themself down on the couch only to gasp when they noticed Carmilla. In shock, they couldn’t do anything but excitedly point from Laura to Carmilla with a suggestive expression.

"No!" Laura whisper yells, "no, we didn't do anything, we were just watching a movie and I fell asleep. And I guess Carmilla did too at some point."

"OH MY GOD," LaFontaine responded. Unable to form coherent sentences yet, they opted for, "Laura, Carmilla- she's- this is- you were- OH MY GOD."

"LaF, stop! Go to your room!"

LaFontaine rolled their eyes then, but trudged onward to their room none the less, "so bossy."

When Laura heard LaFontaine closing their door , she quickly checked her phone to see it was nearly 1am. Her eyes widened and she whispered, trying to wake Carmilla, "Carmilla? Wake up." Carmilla didn't move a muscle, so Laura tried again, a little louder, "Carmilla, wake up! " When she still didn't receive a response of any kind, she reached out and placed her hand on Carmilla's upper arm.

Carmilla's eyes immediately shot open, and she backed away from Laura, a look of terror on her face. She rubbed at her eyes trying to clear her head and get rid of the sleepiness she was feeling

"I'm sorry!" Laura was immediately apologising, realising she'd done something very wrong.

Carmilla’s head cleared and she looked at Laura. Shaking her head, she relaxed again, moving closer to Laura. "No, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. What time is it?"

"Uhh, it's almost 1 I think."

Carmilla's eyebrows shot up, "1? As in AM?" Laura nodded, "Jesus Christ…"

Letting out a small laugh then, Laura shrugged, "I guess we were both tired."

Nodding absentmindedly, Carmilla was thinking more about her abrupt wake-up. She couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed by the way she'd acted a moment ago. She shook her head and stood up, "right, well, I suppose I should get going then."

Laura furrowed her brows, "now? Did you not hear me? It's almost 1am. I don't know what made you think I'd let you roam the streets after midnight alone, but whatever it was it's complete nonsense."

Carmilla huffed, "listen, cupcake, if you think I've never been out after midnight before you've got another thing coming. I'll be fine. It's not like the tooth fairy is actually real."

Laura blinked twice then, raising her eyebrows in question, "the tooth fair- I'm sorry, what?"

"The tooth fairy? You know, the weirdo with wings who sneaks into houses and kid's rooms and takes their teeth when their sleeping? What, do you mean to tell me that that's NOT creepy? Because it is. Sneaking into houses? Into bedrooms? Collecting teeth from little kids? Red flags and sirens going off everywhere."

"Huh," Laura started, "I have literally never thought of it like that before… Ever. But hey thanks, you just set up my nightmares for the rest of my life now, the evil tooth fairy.”

When Carmilla only shrugged and made for the door, Laura spoke up again, "hey, where are you going? I was serious you know, I'm not going to let you go out there alone. You can stay the night."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine."

Laura stood up and marched over to the door then, blocking it. "Hey, stop. I don't want you to walk home alone in the middle of the night, okay? Stay." Looking unimpressed at usual, Laura softly added a "please stay," immediately softening Carmilla up.

Sighing, she agreed, "fine, I'll stay. At least your couch wasn't all that bad…"

Laura grinned then, _victory_ , she thought. "Don't worry about it, take my room, I'll take the couch."

Carmilla rolled her eyes again, "Laura, I'm not taking your room and your bed. You live here, I'm a guest, I'll take the couch, I'm okay with that."

Laura shook her head, "well I am not okay with that, so what are you going to do about it, huh?"

Carmilla thought about it for a moment, but before she could say anything, Laura had an idea.

"Why don't we just share my bed?" She suggested, before thinking about it for a moment longer, "I mean if you're okay with that. We don't have to." When Carmilla still didn't say anything, Laura continued rambling, "actually never mind. That was dumb, I'll just take the couch and you can take the bed. Please, it's the least I can do."

Carmilla took a moment to think about it. She had been okay with sleeping on the couch with Laura, so surely she could survive sharing a bed for one night. After all, she was starting to really know Laura, and she hadn't been too bothered by her touches, well except for the one that happened no more than three minutes ago, so why not? One night.

"Sure," she finally said.

"What?"

"We'll share your bed." Carmilla went on to explain, "it's a win-win, none of us gets the couch, so both of our wishes are granted. It's for the best, really."

\----------------------------------------------

 _It’s for the best? I mean really? It’s for the_ best _? For who exactly?_ Carmilla couldn’t help but wonder why on earth she had agreed to this, seeing how she was now lying in bed with Laura, unable to move a muscle.

Laura had noticed how when they both lied down Carmilla immediately tensed up, and she had been trying to give her some space to breathe and relax. It was first after fifteen minutes that she couldn’t stand the slightly awkward tension between them.

Turning her head slightly to look at Carmilla, Laura carefully asked, “are you okay?”

Carmilla’s breathing picked up slightly, “what? Yeah, of course. Why, what do you mean?”

Laura sighed and turned to lie on her side fully then, “I mean you haven’t moved a muscle since you laid down. Are you okay?”

Thinking for a moment, internally conflicted, Carmilla eventually sighed and turned to lie in her side to face Laura. She looked at her for a moment before admitting, “I don’t know.”

“Okay. Do you want me to leave?”

Carmilla huffed then, “leave? This is your room. If anyone leaves, it should be me.”

“I don’t care, would you be more comfortable if I left?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. No.” Carmilla covered her face with her hands in frustration, sighing, “I don’t know!”

Laura didn’t really know what to say or do, so she opted for silence. She turned to lie on her back again, looking up at the ceiling and wondering what she should do, she really just wanted Carmilla to be comfortable.

A few moments passed, but suddenly Laura jumped slightly at the feeling of something on her hand. She glanced down to her arm lying by her side to see Carmilla’s hand hoovering insecurely above her own. She looked back up at the ceiling, smiling.

When Laura had flinched, seemingly terrified for a moment, Carmilla second guessed her decision for only a moment before seeing the shy smile on Laura’s face. She took a deep breath, and lowered her hand to lay on top of Laura’s. Only when Laura turned her hand to lace their fingers together did she let out the breath she’d been holding. She closed her eyes and finally fully relaxed, falling asleep almost immediately.

Hearing Carmilla's breaths even out, Laura assumed she had fallen asleep. Daring to look down at their intertwined hands, she couldn't help the grin that spread across her face, maybe Carmilla did like her back after all… At least a little bit. With that, Laura closed her eyes and fell asleep too.

\----------------------------------------------

The following morning when Carmilla was waking up, she tried to stretch only to be stopped by a weight on her right side. Looking down, she found Laura practically lying on top of her. She stiffened almost immediately, thoughts rushing through her head, all getting mixed up and turned into one big mess.

Laura stirred when what she thought was her pillow suddenly became less comfortable, and slowly opened her eyes to find she was half on top of Carmilla. Her eyes widened almost comically, and she immediately backed off.

"Oh my Gosh, Carmilla, I'm so sorry!" When Carmilla didn't react, Laura further panicked, "I'm sorry, are you okay? Do you want me to leave? Do you need anything? I am _so_ sorry." When what Laura assumed was a couple of minutes passed without Carmilla moving a muscle or saying anything, Laura chanced it and placed her hand on top of Carmilla's, "hey, are you still with me?"

Carmilla blinked a couple of times, coming back from her thoughts. She turned her head to look at Laura, "yeah, sorry, it's fine." She squeezed Laura's hand lightly for effect, "really, it's not a big deal."

Laura furrowed her brows at that. _Not a big deal? How could it not be?_ She was curious, but not curious enough to ask. Instead, she nodded and not-so-subtly changed the topic, "do you want to stay for breakfast? I make some pretty good pancakes if I do say so myself."

Carmilla smiled weakly and nodded, "that sounds great."

"Perfect!" Laura exclaimed as she got out of bed and left the room to head to the kitchen.

The moment the door closed behind Laura, Carmilla sighed and covered her face with her hands. She shook her head at herself, wondering when she would just be normal like everyone else and stop reacting so weirdly. She supposed she would be better off just telling Laura what she was thinking as she was thinking it. Honesty and all that. After all, she really didn’t have any reason not to trust her. She contemplated it briefly before shaking her head and mentally laughing at herself, now was not the time. Sighing one last time, she climbed out of bed, got dressed, and made her way to the kitchen.

Carmilla found Laura deep in concentration as she cooked up some pancakes, chocolate chip of course. She stood in the doorway a moment, smiling fondly at the image before her, Laura in PJ’s and completely lost in her own world. She couldn’t help but think how good this moment was and how good Laura was, dreaming about how great this life could be. If only she would stop freaking out, or at least take it down a couple of notches, when Laura did something like put her head on her shoulder or wake her up. She shook her head and pushed off the door frame, fully entering the room.

“Something smells delicious,” she said, announcing her arrival.

Laura turned around and smiled at her, “it’ll be ready in just a second!”

Carmilla nodded and took a seat at the kitchen table, seeing a newspaper open at a crossword section. _Don’t mind if I do,_ she thought before grabbing a pen and getting to work.

Around ten minutes later, Laura put a plate down in front of Carmilla with a small stack of pancakes. She looked over Carmilla’s shoulder to see the crossword, and her eyes widened at how much of it was done.

“Wow, you are really good at that.”

Carmilla shrugged, “thanks I guess…?”

Laura just smiled and took a seat across from Carmilla with her own plate. They ate in relative silence, besides Carmilla complimenting the food, both content in the silence. That was, until Laura suddenly remembered something.

“Oh fiddlesticks! Nonono, the essay!” She was already out of her seat rushing around her apartment, Carmilla left behind as confused as ever.

“What essay, what are you talking about?” Laura only kept running around, so Carmilla stood up and got a hold of her to stop her when she was on her fourth run from the living room to the bedroom. A hand on each of Laura’s shoulders, Carmilla looked into her eyes, speaking as calmly as possible. “Laura, stop. Breathe, okay? What are you talking about, what essay?”

Taking a deep breath, Laura went on to explain, “I have this essay that’s due today that I kind of haven’t really actually started yet…” Carmilla’s eyes widened, she didn’t think Laura was ever late with anything. “And I kind of forgot about it till right now.”

Despite her surprise, Carmilla had to laugh, “an essay? That’s it?”

"That's it?" Laura repeated, "what do you mean _that's it?_ I've never not handed anything in on time, I like to be one time, precision and timeliness is key in life!”

"Look, I'm just saying there are worse things in the world than a late essay. When is it due anyway?"

"Midnight," Laura grumbled.

"Midnight? Come on, that's totally possible."

"Is it?"

"Of course it is. Nothing is impossible."

Laura looked at her funny then, "that's oddly inspirational coming from you."

Carmilla shrugged and said, "I have my moments," making Laura laugh too.

Laura went back to running around, albeit more systematic and meaningful running this time around, while Carmilla laid down on the couch, finishing up the crossword.

\----------------------------------------------

Around half an hour later, Laura came out of her room and announced she was ready.

Carmilla furrowed her brows but didn't look up from her nearly finished crossword, "ready for what?"

"Ready to go to the library! I just feel like I'll get more done if I'm there than I will if I stay here, but I also want to spend the day with you. At least a little bit."

Sitting up then, Carmilla sighed, getting ready to throw out some sarcastic remark, but changing it last minute seeing Laura in a knitted owl sweater. She let out a small laugh, before completely genuinely saying, "well don’t you look cute as a button."

Laura blushed and looked down to the ground, shyly accepting the compliment, “thanks.”

"Alright," Carmilla got up and put on her jacket, "let's go, I've got some pictures that need developing."

Laura nodded, and with that they were on their way.

\----------------------------------------------

Arriving at campus, they were going their separate ways. They both came to a stop where the paths divided, and it was Carmilla who first broke the silence.

"So I guess I'll talk to you later?"

Laura nodded, "yes, definitely."

A moment of silence passed, neither wanting to part, but knowing they eventually had to.

"Alright," Carmilla started, "good luck with your essay."

Laura wanted to answer, but Carmilla was walking off before she got the chance to say anything. She sighed and made her way towards the library, today was going to be a long day

\----------------------------------------------

As soon as Carmilla entered the darkroom, she got a text. She shook her head at no one in particular, already thinking she knew who it was. And lo and behold, as she unlocked her phone she saw that she was right, it was Laura.

 **Laura:** Hey, do you want to maybe meet up for lunch later?

 **Carmilla:** I thought you had an essay to do?

 **Laura:** Well yeah, but I still have to eat, duh.

A few seconds later another message came in,

 **Laura:** And I want to eat with you.

After thinking about it for exactly one second, Carmilla was typing out her reply.

 **Carmilla:** Alright, just come find me when you get hungry.

Laura smiled down at her phone, earning herself a few strange looks. She didn't notice them though, not really, she was too caught up in her excitement for lunch later and getting started on this essay. _Now, what did that professor say were the minimum requirements to pass this essay?_

\----------------------------------------------

"You know," Laura started as she entered the darkroom where Carmilla was still huddled up a couple of hours later, "this room is much harder to find that you lead me to believe."

Carmilla laughed, "oh come on, that's just part of the fun! But honestly, I didn't even know about this room till Perry told me about it, which is pretty crazy considering she practically never use it and I'm in here almost every single day."

"Wow, you must take a ton of pictures…"

"Nah," Carmilla shrugged, "not really. I just like being in here, it's calm, quiet, and I feel at home with the photos or something poetic like that."

"That was very poetic," Laura agreed. "Also, I'm really hungry, so if we could get going that would be great."

Carmilla nodded and grabbed her jacket and her bag, opening the door for Laura on their way out of the room. They had agreed to walk over to the usual diner for lunch, and seeing as it was just a short five minute walk from campus, before they knew it they were sat in a booth having placed their food orders.

"So I've been wondering," Carmilla said, "about what you said. About growing up with lies and all… What does that mean?"

Honestly, Laura wasn't really surprised at the question, she figured one of these days it would come back up.

"Well," Laura started, "when I was little, like 5 or 6, my mom left me and my dad. Whenever I would ask my dad about her or what happened, he lied. Like 'she didn't leave, she'll be back', or 'she left because she had an alcohol problem' or 'because she needed some time, she just wasn't ready'. And I mean, fine, so she wasn't ready, but how is it fair that she got to leave, you know? And every now and again, she did actually call me, which I suppose was nice, but she kept making promises she couldn't keep. Promises of coming back, of taking me to the movies, of going on trips together… Promises of being a mom. I love my dad, and I forgave him a long time ago, because I know he did the best he could given the circumstances. I think all of the different things that happened made him the overprotective dad he is today, which is a little bit annoying every now and then, but I guess I can't really blame him. My mom, on the other hand, I haven't talked to her in years now. Seeing what she did to my dad and how she kept making me feel, in the end I couldn't be okay with that." Laura shrugged, "it is what it is, and I'm okay with that. I've learned to live with it, and in a lot of ways it made me who I am, and I happen to like who I am. At least most of the time…"

Carmilla nodded along, "no offense, but your mom sounds like kind of an ass. And I am one, so I would know." When Laura laughed a little, Carmilla added, "and for the record, I also like who you are."

Laura smiled then, "good."

When their food arrived a moment later, Laura asked Carmilla a similar question.

"Why did you hate being a kid?" Okay, maybe that was a bit forward, but Laura wasn't exactly good at being subtle in her questions and actions.

Carmilla nearly choked on the sip of water she had just taken, but recovered soon enough.

"What uhh, what do you mean?" She asked dumbly.

Laura rolled her eyes, "you said you used to hate being a kid, I'm wondering why? What made you hate it?"

"My mother," Carmilla simply answered.

Laura was confused, "your mom? How?"

Carmilla laughed then, "you really are a journalist, aren't you?"

Smiling innocently, Laura tried again, "yeah, sorry. You don't have to talk about it."

"It’s fine,” Carmilla shrugged, “when I was nine, me, my little brother William, and my father were in a car crash. Some idiot ran a red light and smashed right into the driver side… William and I were fine, a little beat up, but fine. My dad, on the other hand, was not. He died."

"I'm sorry," Laura said when Carmilla paused, "that's terrible."

Carmilla only shrugged and continued, "after that, we were left with my mother, naturally. My mother is not a very nice person, she should never have been the sole guardian of a nine year old and a seven year old. Her consequences were very… physical. Very brutal and often uncalled for. She could lash out for nothing really, and end up shoving me or Will in a closet and not let us out for hours. She would push us, beat us, yell at us, literally anything she saw fit in a moment of pure hatred and rage, and don't you dare tell me she loved us in her own way because what she did? That is not love. My mother is a monster that threw me out the second I turned 18. She's just a lady I see once, maybe twice, a year because I somehow start to feel guilty for leaving her and Will, even thought I didn't have a say in the matter."

Laura didn't really know what to say. While a small part of her wanted to tell Carmilla that everything was okay now, even she didn't believe that. Mostly she was just angry. She was angry because she didn't understand how someone could be so cruel. She reached across the table and laid her hand on top of Carmilla's. She didn't say anything because in the end, nothing she could say would make anything any better. It was what it was, Laura couldn't change the past, she was just determined to change the future.

Carmilla was a little bit surprised that Laura didn't say anything. After all, Laura usually had at least one comment, she was never just quiet. But then Laura's hand landed on top of her own, and Carmilla understood why Laura had stayed quiet, because there were no words that could fix any of it, that could change any of it. She smiled weakly as a response, before going back to eating the fries left on her plate in silence, turning over her hand to hold Laura's properly.

On the way back to campus, Laura suddenly realised something.

"That's why you don't like people touching you, that's why you pushed me back the first time we met!" She said this as if it were the biggest revelation since Archimedes' eureka moment.

Carmilla, however, was lost, "I'm sorry?"

Laura calmed down some before explaining, "your mom. She's the reason you don't like physical contact."

"Ahh," Carmilla started, "you figured it out." She laughed a little, "yes, I suppose it is. She was both the most predictable and unpredictable person I'd ever met all the same. While you knew it was coming, you never knew what exactly was coming. You just knew it would happen and it would all start with a touch. In then end it was as if every touch, no matter who it was from was the beginning of something terrible.”

"I'm sorry I grabbed your arm that time," was all Laura could think to say.

Carmilla shrugged, "water under the bridge. And now you know! I’ve never known a touch to be anything but harmful, so it scares me sometimes. Even though mostly I’m not scared of anything of course because I’m tough.”

Laura laughed a little, before realising they had reached the point where they would go their separate ways once again.

"Hey, thanks for lunch," Carmilla said. After a short minor discussion, Laura had paid for their meals back at the diner.

Laura waved her hand, dismissing Carmilla's thanks, "no, it was my pleasure, I had a really good time."

"So you think you can finish that essay of yours now?"

"Yes. Definitely," Laura said confidently.

Carmilla laughed, "well alright, I should let you get back to it then."

Laura nodded, but they both lingered a little bit longer. Suddenly, Laura stepped forward and hugged Carmilla, and much to her surprise, after a couple of seconds, Carmilla hugged her back. After another moment, Laura stepped back smiling.

"I should go now," Laura said, and Carmilla nodded. She gave a small awkward wave as she started backing away, "I'll talk to you later!"

Carmilla simply returned the wave before making her way over to her apartment, done with all things university for today.

\----------------------------------------------

It was a couple of weeks later when Laura had just come out of her class that she made her way to the darkroom where Carmilla had told her to meet her.

"So this is where you're hiding out," Laura said as she entered the darkroom where Carmilla had been for the past hour or so. She blinked a couple of times, trying to get her eyes to adjust to the dark.

In deep concentration, Carmilla didn't look up when she answered, "not really hiding, more avoiding."

Laura frowned, "who, me?"

Carmilla turned around to face Laura then, "what? No, why would I avoid you? I told you where to find me, that would be a pretty stupid thing to do if I was avoiding you, wouldn't it?"

"Oh," Laura sighed in relief then, "that's good. I was beginning to think maybe I'd been too much and you were sick of me, or that you just didn't like me anymore."

When Carmilla didn't answer right away, Laura laughed awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood and forget about what she had just said.

"Laura," Carmilla started as she walked towards her, "we've hung out nearly every day for the past two weeks. I'm not sick of you. And I thought it was fairly obvious, but I do like you." She reached for Laura's hands then, intertwining their fingers. This had become somewhat usual over the past two weeks, the hand holding. Carmilla was getting more than used to it, she found it comforting and nice, and she'd also come to believe that their hands fit perfectly together, which was a nice thought. She could see Laura looking down at their intertwined hands wide eyed, because although Carmilla might be more used to it and like it, she never really initiated it, Laura usually did. "I like you quite a lot actually," Carmilla continued, trying not to look directly at Laura, scared of rejection more than anything in this moment.

A soft smile appeared on Laura's face, and she reached up to cup Carmilla's cheek. Carmilla flinched at first, not prepared for the touch, but relaxed into it only a moment later. Looking into her eyes, Laura didn't see anything but genuine emotion, and she couldn't help but be drawn in, closing the small distance between the two, finally doing what she had been wanting to do for two weeks.

Their lips met in a soft kiss, Carmilla taking only a mere second to respond, her hands landing on Laura's hips. Just as she was about to pull Laura closer to her, Laura pulled back, wanting to gauge Carmilla's reaction. Carmilla had her eyes closed, trying to savour the moment, a small smile playing on her lips. Laura couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her lips then, and when Carmilla opened her eyes and furrowed her brows in question, Laura shook her head and kept grinning.

"Sorry, I'm just really happy I think."

Carmilla rolled her eyes fondly, before pulling Laura towards her by her hips, leaning in for one more kiss. They both smiled into it, and when they pulled apart, Laura grinned and nodded.

"Yup, definitely really happy."

Carmilla laughed a little and let Laura go, turning back to hang up the picture she had forgotten about that was probably ruined by now.

"So," Laura started, moving to stand next to Carmilla, "who were you hiding from then? If not me I mean…"

Carmilla turned her head to look at Laura for a moment. She simply smiled and kissed her cheek before returning to her work, "everyone else."


	5. The Bride of Frankenstein

After their kiss, Carmilla and Laura had barely had a moment alone. It had been a week, and Laura had started a group project for a class that took up a lot of her afternoons, and every time they did see each other, either LaFontaine, Perry, or the both of them were standing right there. This is why, when Carmilla neared the end of her last class of the day on Thursday afternoon, she snuck out early and hastily made her way to the café where she and Laura had had hot chocolates that one time. She placed an order for two hot chocolates to go, checking for time and seeing she was still good. Grabbing the two cups when they were ready, she made her way back to campus, first stopping when she reached Laura's classroom. She looked at her watch again, smirking as she saw that she was just barely a couple of minutes early, _nailed it._

The second Laura exited the classroom, Carmilla got a hold of her wrist and started half dragging her down the hall. Laura stumbled along, laughing, and not really knowing what was happening.

"Carm, slow down, where are we going?"

Carmilla pretended not to hear that, only stopping and letting go of Laura’s hand when they were outside her classroom where the darkroom was. She opened the door for Laura, who smiled gratefully and walked inside.

"So," she started, opening the door to the darkroom and gesturing for Laura to step inside. She switched on the light and said, "I got us the best hot chocolate in the world," handing Laura her cup.

Laura accepted the cup and took a sip, sighing happily, "this is great. And also, this room has lights?"

Carmilla laughed and nodded, "of course it does. Laura, we’re photographers, not savages.”

“Oh really?” Laura asked with a suggestive look on her face, setting her own cup down before moving towards Carmilla, taking her cup out of her hands and setting that down too. She looped her arms around Carmilla’s neck, “not even a little bit every now and then?”

Carmilla raised her eyebrows, surprised by Laura’s sudden confidence. That wasn’t to say she minded, quite the opposite actually. She wound her arms around Laura's waist, before shrugging, "I guess some of us can stand to lose control a little bit every once in a while."

Laura leaned in for a kiss then, which Carmilla responded to immediately, sighing happily. If anyone were to ask, Laura had definitely been thinking about this moment since last week, dreaming about it even. She had thought their first kiss last week was unforgettable, but as she was getting more lost and loopy from the ongoing kiss, she had a feeling this one just might be more so.

When Carmilla felt Laura’s hands weaving into her hair, her head got fuzzy and she was sure if she didn’t stop this right now she probably never would. She pulled back and rested her forehead against Laura's, "hold on a minute."  The moment the words left her mouth, Carmilla was already starting to regret it. She didn’t know where the strength to stop what was going on came from, but she hadn’t really intended to bring Laura here for a make out session. That being said, in order to remember her actual purpose, she needed a minute to breathe and gather her thoughts.

"You okay?" Laura asked when Carmilla got silent.

"I think I'm great actually," Carmilla said and moved her head back some to look at Laura, "I just- I mean, because of the ginger twins and your group presentation stuff, we haven't really had a chance to talk just you and I, face to face."

"I know, I'm sorr-"

"No, that's not what I meant,” Carmilla interrupted. “I just meant there is something I've been meaning to ask, I just haven't found the right time. So I kinda just figured I'd make it the right time instead.” Carmilla took a deep breath before gathering the courage to ask, "so there's this place in town that's supposed to have really great food, and I was wondering if you would be interested in having dinner there? With me. On Friday. Well, tomorrow I guess…"

"You want to take me out to dinner?"

Carmilla nodded, "I do. I want to take you out to dinner and a movie actually. The theatre is having a 'night of horror', or whatever they called it, in honour of Halloween being right around the corner, and they are showing the original 1935 Bride of Frankenstein!" Carmilla was genuinely excited about it, especially after last year's disaster of a movie choice. _As if The Wolf Man could_ ever _measure up to the original Frankenstein movies…_ _Pathetic,_ she thought.

Laura grinned and pecked Carmilla’s lips, “that sounds really great.”

Before Carmilla had the chance to say or do anything else, Laura’s phone went off. She looked at Carmilla apologetically, before grabbing her phone. When she answered and started talking to whoever was on the line, Carmilla grabbed her now lukewarm hot chocolate off the table and took a seat in the one chair that was in the darkroom. When a few minutes passed with Laura still on the phone, Carmilla reached for her and pulled her down onto her lap. When Carmilla had become this person she wasn't exactly sure, but she really just wanted to be near Laura most of the time, so she would be damned if when she actually was with Laura she didn't seize the moment. Laura just kept grinning at Carmilla as she was pulled down onto her lap, not minding this at all.

A few minutes later, Laura said goodbye to whoever was on the phone and hung up.

“So that was Danny, from my group… I completely forgot we were meeting up today, and she was not super happy about me being 15 minutes late.” She rolled her eyes at the end for added effect.

"Aww that's cute," Carmilla started, "your group is completely lost without you! So lost in fact, that they can't even go 15 minutes without you apparently."

Laura laughed, "to be fair, you can't really blame them. After all, I do tend to make quite the impression on the people who meet me."

"Oh yeah, like how you introduced yourself by kicking a door in my face."

"Hey!" Laura started, "I didn't actually kick a door in your face. I just opened a door kind of harshly I guess, and you just happened to be on the other side… But how was I supposed to know?" Carmilla rolled her eyes, but laughed none the less, and when Laura made to move off her lap, Carmilla just hugged her to her. "Carm, come on, I'm sorry, but I really do need to go."

Carmilla pouted then, actually pouted, and Laura was sure there was no way she would get out of this alive. "But no," Carmilla whined, "they have to learn how to fend for themselves at some point, don't you think?"

Laura couldn't help but think that Carmilla did have a point if only for just a second, if only because the face Carmilla was currently making was melting Laura's heart, but she quickly recovered. "I will call you tonight, okay?"

She didn't particularly like it, but Carmilla could understand that Laura did actually need to leave. Sighing, she nodded, "okay."

"But," Laura dragged out as she stood up, "you could always walk with me to the library…"

"Sure thing, cutie," Carmilla said before getting up and heading for the door. She was stopped by Laura before she could actually open the door though, and she looked back at her in question.

Laura smiled and kissed her deeply one more time, before taking Carmilla's hand, leading them towards the library.

\----------------------------------------------

It was later in the afternoon as Carmilla was sprawled out on her couch watching a shark documentary when Laura called.

"Hello?"

"Hey you!  What are you up to?" Laura asked.

"Well I was just watching this documentary thing, but I could always use a break. How was your group meeting?"

Laura sighed, "where do I even begin? I think you might have been right, they do need to learn how to fend for themselves because they were impossible today." Carmilla hummed in agreement, and Laura completely changed the topic, "so anyway, this place you're taking me to tomorrow, where exactly is it?"

Carmilla laughed, "and here I was thinking you wouldn’t ask for once. How naïve… Anyway, I was kind of hoping I wouldn't have to tell you. Partially because I can't actually remember the name of the place right now."

"Aww, come on. How am I supposed to dress for that?"

"Honestly? Just wear whatever you want to wear?"

"Fine. Don't tell me."

The line went silent for a moment then, neither really knowing what to say, but not wanting to hang up. After a couple of minutes, Carmilla cleared her throat.

"So I was thinking I'd pick you up around 6, is that okay?"

Laura smiled and nodded, before a few seconds passed and she realised Carmilla couldn't actually see that. "Yes! Yeah, that's perfect."

"Okay."

Another moment of silence passed before Carmilla heard Laura yelp. She immediately sat up, suddenly on high alert.

"Laura? Laura, are you okay?"

Laura laughed, "yes, sorry, I just almost fell."

Carmilla furrowed her brows, “fell? What are you doing?"

"I'm walking home?"

"We should probably hang up then, for your safety and all. Something is making me believe multitasking is not your strong suit."

Laura sighed, "I guess."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Laura."

"Okay."

Carmilla sighed, "Laura I can't hang up if you're mopey." When Laura didn't answer, Carmilla continued, "tell me what I can do to make you smile again?"

"Don't hang up?"

Carmilla thought for a moment before agreeing, "okay, but if you actually do trip over a curb or walk into a sign or something, it's not my fault."

Laura laughed then, "deal."

\----------------------------------------------

The two had talked late into the night, until eventually Laura had fallen asleep. Now, the next day, Laura was running around trying to get ready. LaFontaine had asked Perry over, and the two of them were sat on the couch supposedly watching some program or another, but really they were both just watching Laura in amusement.

"Sweetie, please calm down, will you?" Perry eventually called out.

Laura stopped dead in her tracks, "what do you mean calm down? I am completely calm, I couldn't even be calmer," she held a shaking hand out, "see how steady that is? I am so freaking calm right now."

LaFontaine couldn't keep in in any longer and bursted out laughing, earning herself a nasty look from Perry. "I'm sorry, but that is just ridiculous. Laura first of all, your hand isn't steady, you're clearly nervous. Second, you are literally everything except calm. You've been running around changing outfits for half an hour. It's 5:45, just pick something!"

"I hate to admit it," Perry started, looking at LaFontaine, "but LaF is actually right. Carmilla won't care what you wear, the only thing she'll care about is whether you're there or not, and you will be, so don't worry so much."

Laura tried to laugh it off, but even she could hear how it sounded more hysterical than anything. She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, you're right. I won't try on any more outfits, I'll just go with this and that's that. Everything is fine."

Laura jumped when a couple of minutes later, she heard three knocks on the door. Before she could even get up, she could hear Perry greeting Carmilla, telling her to come on in. She took one last calming breath before standing up and going out to the living room where everyone else was.

When Laura walked into the room, Carmilla was sure her heart literally did skip a beat. Laura usually dressed cutely, and tonight was no exception. The only real difference was the setting, and Carmilla was definitely feeling it. She was feeling somewhat tongue tied at the moment, completely unable to stop staring at Laura who seemed to be staring right back, so when Perry started talking instead, she was more than a little grateful.

"Alright, you two kids run along now, you'll be late for your dinner if you don't get going."

Laura blinked a couple of times, coming out of the place she had just been mentally for the past few minutes. "Right, thanks Perry." She turned to LaFontaine who were watching this all play out with a smirk firmly planted on their face, "see you later LaF!" With that, she stepped forward and nudged Carmilla out the door, Perry closing it behind them.

Once out of the apartment building, Carmilla finally returned to reality. Clearing her throat, she looked at Laura and with uncharacteristic nerves flaring up, she said, "you look beautiful."

"Thank you," Laura answered somewhat shyly, "you're not so bad yourself!"

They walked down the street arm in arm, talking about everything and nothing until they reached the restaurant Carmilla had been talking about. It was a two story place that looked fairy modern, but still homey. When they walked inside Carmilla told the hostess her name for the reservation she’d made earlier, and the two were led upstairs to a table by the windows.

When they were both seated, Laura leaned over her menu and whispered, “this place is really nice.”

“I thought you might like it,” Carmilla whispered back over her own menu.

Laura grinned and looked back at her menu trying to figure out what to get, while Carmilla took one extra moment to just look at Laura.

Laura wasn’t oblivious though, “you’re staring,” she said without looking up from her menu.

Carmilla quickly hid behind her own menu, before casually answering, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just trying to decide whether I should get pasta or something else…”

Laura put down her menu and raised an eyebrow, “really?”

“Mhmm.”

It was Laura's turn to look at Carmilla then, she really was beautiful. "God, you're beautiful," she whispered before she even knew she had said anything. Her eyes widened slightly when she realised what she had let slip, but she was quick to roll her eyes when she saw Carmilla smirking behind her menu. "Oh shut up."

Carmilla laughed, "sorry. And it’s you who’s beautiful. Now, what are we eating?"

\----------------------------------------------

After dinner, they had a bit of time before the movie started, so they decided to go for a walk through the park. Somewhere within the first couple of minutes, Laura had grabbed Carmilla's hand, and they were just following the path through the park in relative silence. Out of nowhere, Laura had a question.

"Do you believe in God?"

Carmilla snorted, "uhh no. There is no such thing as a God. There is no heavenly God, and there is no hellish Satan or whatever. That stuff isn’t real.”

"But what if that's just what they want you to believe? Maybe! Just maybe, they are actually everywhere all the time."

Carmilla stopped and looked Laura dead in the eye, squinting, looking for some sign she was joking. After a minute, she sighed, "right, okay, let's just be crystal clear about this one thing, okay? There is no God. There's no devil or Satan, and there is no Santa Claus."

Laura shook her head, holding back a small smile, "you can't actually prove that though…"

Carmilla groaned in frustration and threw her head back before getting serious, "look, I also cannot prove that there isn't a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shits diamonds. That doesn't mean that it's likely."

Laura raised her eyebrows, "that's… oddly specific?"

"I just can't believe that God exists, because if a he does actually exist then he's kind of an ass, isn't he? I mean he makes people gay and then have all his followers going around telling them that it's something they chose. As if a person would willingly chose what is sometimes much harder life and existence. I'm also not saying God would be a he, I'm just using a generic term for an unknown person."

Laura held her hands up in surrender, "alright, alright. I can understand that. But what about people who do believe in a God?"

Carmilla shrugged, "that's okay. I mean, I guess having something larger than life to believe in can be a good thing, right? If faith in something inexplicable and holy helps you, then who am I to judge? Is it irrational? Definitely. But I guess there are worse things people can believe in than fairytales…”

"So poetic."

"Oh you know, it just happens. So do you believe in God?"

Laura shook her head, "I don't think so. Like you said, he's kind of a jerk."

They were nearing the theatre again, so Carmilla checked the time to find they were pretty much on time. They got their tickets and popcorn, because according to Laura it was actually not possible to be at the movies and not have popcorn with the movie. Carmilla was not about to disagree, so she got the two of them some popcorn to go with the movie.

When they were seated and waiting for the movie to start, Laura admitted, "I've actually never seen this one before."

Carmilla turned to look at her in shock, "I'm sorry, what? You have not seen Bride of Frankenstein? HOW? It's a classic- nono, it's actually _the_ classic. It just might be better than the first Frankenstein movie actually."

"Oh! I do know that Frankenstein isn't the actual name of the creation though, which is a common misconception. It's the creator, _that's_ Frankenstein," Laura said proudly.

Shaking her head, Carmilla simply answered, "you're lucky you're cute."

As the movie started playing, Laura half leaned over the armrest and laid her head on Carmilla's shoulder, reaching for some popcorn. A smile found it's way to Carmilla's face, and she couldn't help but think that no matter how this night were to end, it will have been perfect either way.

\----------------------------------------------

When the movie finished, Carmilla and Laura made their way up the streets again, arm in arm, headed back to Laura's place.

"That movie was actually really good," Laura said sounding somewhat surprised.

"What do you mean it was ' _actually good_ '? It's fantastic, it's a work of art!"

Laura laughed, "okay, it was pretty fantastic. I had a lot of fun anyway."

"Yeah, me too," Carmilla nodded, "tonight has been really great."

"I agree. You have definitely wooed me, Carmilla Karnstein. Dinner, a walk in a beautiful park, a fantastic movie, and walking me home… What more could a girl ask for?"

"Probably nothing. I'm probably perfect if I do say so myself," Carmilla said proudly.

They both broke out laughing then, and it was in that moment, on their very first official date, that Laura was sure she was completely taken by Carmilla. Hearing her laugh made her heart beat funny, and she knew that if she were to die right then it would be okay, because she would be so completely happy.

They fell into a comfortable silence, just slowly making their way to Laura's apartment and enjoying the other's company.

When the time came that they did finally reach Laura's building, they were both a little reluctant to leave the other.

"You're sure you're okay to walk home? I mean it is kinda dark and all…" Laura asked, always worried.

"I'm pretty sure I can handle the 15 minute walk that it is, but I appreciate your concern. I will let you know the moment I’m at my place. Sound good?" Laura only nodded, and Carmilla continued, “tonight has been great. Really great actually.”

Laura smiled and nodded in agreement, "I agree, it's been so much more than wonderful. Thank you."

"So, I'm pretty sure this is the part where we kiss goodnight?"

Laura laughed, but agreed, pulling Carmilla closer by the hand she was still holding. Laura could have sworn she heard Carmilla giggle then, but she was also sure that if she ever brought it up, Carmilla would definitely deny it ever happening. Carmilla put a hand on Laura's cheek and carefully closed the small gap between them. Their mouths moved in perfect unison, and Laura felt like she was floating for a moment. She just got this feeling that she wouldn't have to kiss anyone else ever again, and she really didn’t mind it either. She pulled back smiling.

"I should get going," Laura said as she put her key in the door and unlocked it. "Stay safe, okay? And let me know when you're home.”

Carmilla nodded and smiled, "of course. Goodnight, Laura."

"Goodnight, Carmilla."

Carmilla watched as Laura made her way up the stairs of her building, before turning around and starting the walk back to her own apartment, a wide smile firmly planted on her face.


	6. I Look Like a Homeless Person

Some weeks, a couple of dates, and a number of impromptu movie nights later, Carmilla and Laura were both just really happy and in a good place. They were spending more time together than apart at this point, both opening up a little bit more with each passing day, falling a little bit harder for the other. It was now Friday, and the two of them were walking down the halls of the university, heading towards the coffee cart on the floor below them. Carmilla had just said that everything is mostly nothing, sparking a discussion on whether anything really exists at all or if life is just a lie, when she just barely heard someone call her name.

"Carmilla!"

Carmilla glanced back to see where the voice was coming from, before quickly turning back and picking up some speed. Laura looked at her in question, but kept up none the less.

"Hey, Carmilla!" The same person called again, quickly getting closer.

"Shit," Carmilla muttered, and Laura looked back to see who was calling after her.

"Carmilla, wait!"

"Okay," Laura started, "that guy is clearly calling for you. Should we maybe stop and wait for him?"

"Huh? Oh, no. Absolutely not. In fact, we should just walk that much faster!"

Laura laughed, "Carmilla, come on, what's up?"

"Nothing is up, absolutely nothing. I mean, the sky, obviously, but nothing else. I'm sure he's just looking for someone else, I mean tons of people are named Carmilla, it's not just m-"

Carmilla was stopped mid sentence when the guy finally caught up to them and grabbed Carmilla's arm to stop her, "Carmilla, stop. Please."

"Hey, back off!" Laura said. She was already on the defence, stepping in front of Carmilla and pushing the guy back.

Carmilla sighed, "oh, hey buddy, I thought I smelled failure."

The guy looked at Carmilla in a way that said 'really?' without actually having to say it, and Laura was stood looking between him and Carmilla, confusion clearly written on her face.

"Laura, this is Will," Carmilla started, "better known as my brother." Suddenly everything seemed to fall into place for Laura, and she faintly made a sound like 'ahh'. Carmilla continued, "Will, this is Laura. She's my, uhh, my uh-"

"Girlfriend," Laura broke in, stretching out her hand to shake Will's, "it's nice to meet you. Sorry I pushed you."

Will shrugged, "it's alright, it's nice to meet you too, Laura." He turned his attention to Carmilla, "Sister. Do you have a minute?"

Carmilla rolled her eyes at him before looking at Laura apologetically. Laura only shrugged, so Carmilla suggested, "darkroom in five?"

Will nodded before walking off, leaving Carmilla and Laura behind.

"Sorry about that," Carmilla said as if it were nothing, before taking Laura's hand and starting to walk again. Laura, however, didn't move. Carmilla only came to realise this when their arms were at full length and she could either let go of Laura's hand or come to a full stop herself.

"What are you doing?" Carmilla asked with furrowed brows.

Laura laughed, "what am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing? What about Will?"

Carmilla shrugged, "yes, what about Will?" When Laura raised her eyebrows, Carmilla sighed, "come on, I don't want to talk to Will, I want to get coffee with you."

Laura walked up to Carmilla and put her arms around her waist, "how about I go get us coffee, and you see what your brother wants? I'll even go as far as bringing both myself and the coffee to you, so you won't even have to walk all the way downstairs and back again."

"You're sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all."

Carmilla smiled, "you know, you trying to protect me back there from my big bad little brother? That was cute."

Laura frowned, "cute? I think you meant to say badass."

"No, I definitely meant to say cute." When Laura pouted, Carmilla just laughed before pecking her lips and mumbling, "my hero."

Unable to stop smiling then, Laura leaned in to kiss Carmilla sweetly one more time. When she pulled back, Carmilla was grinning, so Laura just rolled her eyes, "always looking so smug."

Shrugging, Carmilla answered, "can't help it."

"Whatever. Go see your brother."

With that, Laura pushed Carmilla in the direction of Will while walking off to get coffee.

\----------------------------------------------

"So," Carmilla started as she walked into the darkroom, "not that I'm not always happy to see you, but what do you want?"

"Oh come on, can't a brother get a hug from his big sister before we start with all the questions and what not?" Will said, already heading towards Carmilla with his arms out. Carmilla rolled her eyes, but smiled and hugged him back none the less.

"It's really good to see you, Will," she said as they broke the hug.

"Yeah, you too, Carmilla. You seem… I don't know, better?"

Carmilla nodded, "I am better. Laura makes me want to be better."

Will nodded in understanding, "she seems really nice. Probably too good for you actually."

"Oh yeah," Carmilla agreed, "way too good for me actually."

"Anyway. I'm here because our mother called me a few days ago."

Before he could explain any more, Carmilla groaned, "I'm not ready. Has it really been a year already?"

Will nodded, "it actually has been a year, yes. She said you weren't picking up your phone, so she sent me to talk to you instead."

Carmilla huffed, "damn right I wasn't picking up my phone, why would I?"

"Carmilla, please," Will pleaded. "She wants to meet us for dinner, she's in town."

Carmilla's eyebrows shot up, "she's in town right now?" When Will nodded, Carmilla sighed, "Jesus Christ, Will, why didn't you tell me before?"

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Will shot back.

"Touché," Carmilla grumbled. "Well, when does she want to meet us? Tomorrow? Sunday? Never?"

Will grimaced then, he knew this wouldn't go over well, "well, ehh, she said tonight."

"Tonight?!" Carmilla half yelled, "for fucks sake, Will, you need to warn me about this shit. You need to warn me like… I don't know, a year in advance or something."

"Sorry! If you would just answer your damn phone, we wouldn't even be here right now."

"God, I know! I know, I just-"

"No, I know. I get it. Just-" Will stopped himself, taking a breath before continuing, "just come to dinner tonight. Please. I don't want to go alone."

Carmilla sighed and shook her head, "Will, I don't know. I don't know if I can do that right now. Things are going really well, Laura is really great, and you know how mother gets. I just-"

"Please," Will pleaded again. "Please just come to dinner. I need you."

Carmilla looked him in the eye for a minute before slowly nodding, "fine. I'll come. Where does she want to meet us?"

Will's face broke out in a smile and he practically jumped with joy, "oh, thank you thank you thank you! I don't know where yet, but she said to meet her at five. I'll text you the details later!" He hugged her again, "thank you!"

"Yeah yeah… Now if you'll excuse me, there's a pretty girl out there waiting for me."

Will smiled and nodded before hurrying out of the darkroom. Carmilla walked out a few seconds later to find Laura sat in the classroom waiting for her.

"Hey," she said cheerily when she saw Carmilla come out of the darkroom.

"Hey," Carmilla answered lazily.

Laura frowned as Carmilla slumped down in the chair next to hers, "everything okay?"

Carmilla sighed, "my mother is in town. She wants us all to have dinner. Today. In like… Probably two or three hours, I don't know, at five."

"Oh," was all Laura could think to say. She scooted her chair up so she was sitting right next to Carmilla and put her head down on Carmilla's shoulder. Carmilla let her own head fall to rest on top of Laura's, taking a shaky breath.

After a moment of silence, Laura lifted her head and looked at Carmilla, "will you be okay?"

Carmilla gave a slightly forced smile before nodding, "always."

\----------------------------------------------

A couple of hours later, Carmilla was stood outside one of the fancier restaurants in town, waiting for Will to show up. Her mother had undoubtedly arrived "fashionably early" as she'd called it when Carmilla were younger, but Carmilla was not about to walk in there alone.

"Carmilla, hey!" Will said as he walked up to her, giving her a brief hug.

"You're late," Carmilla remarked.

"Fashionably so," Will corrected with a smirk.

They both entered the restaurant, immediately seeing their mother.

"Ready?" Will asked, looking at Carmilla.

Taking one last breath, she nodded, "ready."

They walked up to their table, and when their mother caught sight of them, she stood from her chair and put on the biggest fake smile Carmilla had ever seen.

"Children!" She enthusiastically announced, "how lovely to see you both."

"Mother," Will and Carmilla answered respectfully in unison.

Some  minutes later, all formalities were thrown out the window. Everyone had taken a seat and ordered their food, and Mrs. Karnstein was wasting no time in getting to it.

"So, Carmilla, have you found something sensible to study yet?"

Carmilla frowned, "what do you mean, I'm studying photography, you know this."

Her mother huffed, "oh, please. We both know that that photography stuff is just a hobby. You need to find an actual, real, noble profession. Carmilla, you can't keep wasting your life on a stupid dream. Just look at your father, he went after his dream and look where it got him.”

Carmilla nearly choked on her drink then, and she was ready to start making a scene when Will tried to break into the conversation.

"Hey, mom, did I tell you about how we won the game last weekend? It was so close, but then Kirsch just came out of nowhere with all this last minute energy and power like never before and we ended up kicking some ass out on the field."

"William! Language." Was all their mother said to him before turning her attention back to Carmilla, "but really, darling, don't you think you should start thinking about something more sensible? Like accounting maybe? I know we've got some openings for internships at my firm starting next fall, why don't you make the trip up there and interview for it?"

Carmilla took a deep breath to calm herself, "no thank you, mother, I'm fine where I am."

"Shame. You could be great if you would just stop wasting that brain of yours on nothings."

Carmilla was boiling inside _. You could be great,_ she mentally repeated. She had been told she could be great her whole life as if nothing she ever did or had done would ever be enough. She stayed calm though, because she would not let her mother have this moment.

“William, dear," Mrs. Karnstein turned her attention to Will then, "how is school? Are your classes OK? No teachers giving you any trouble?”

William rolled his eyes, “school is fine mom. I mean, I’m passing, so there’s that.”

Their mother narrowed her eyes at him but accepted the answer none the less.

As their food arrived, Mrs. Karnstein gave it a second go.

“Carmilla, please at least consider my offer before you turn it down. It’s been two years with this photography charade, it’s time to stop it and get serious. I mean honestly, your father was never anything but a failed photographer. He took yearbook pictures because he wasn’t good at his job. Because there is no money in photography. Your father was nothing, a nobody.”

“Stop it.” Carmilla said angrily, her hands balled up in fists on the table. “Don’t talk about him like that.”

“Oh calm down, you don’t know what you’re talking about, you were just a little girl.”

“No, _you_ don’t know what you’re talking about.” Carmilla said as she stood up and grabbed her jacket, “my father was everything that you are not. You are a pathetic excuse of a human being who never cared about anyone but yourself and your sorry little life. You are a terrible person and you call yourself a mother but you are anything but that. You-“

“Carmilla, sit down.” Her mother said sternly. 

“No.” Carmilla said back just as resilient, “you are a monster. You are my nightmare and living hell. You don’t deserve me, you don’t deserve Will, and you certainly didn’t deserve our father. You say he was a nobody, but that’s actually you.”

As the last words left Carmilla’s mouth, the sound of a loud, harsh, slap was ringing through the room. Carmilla’s hand was covering her left cheek, and she was on the verge of tears as she promptly made her way out of the restaurant and back to her apartment.

The moment she closed the door behind her, she leaned back against it and slid down to the floor. She hugged her knees close to her chest, tears streaming down her face, completely letting it all go. She was sure there would be a bruise on her cheek the perfect shape of a hand in the morning, but right now she couldn’t think about anything, her mind was completely blank.

After some minutes, she gathered herself enough to move from the floor to the couch, texting Laura in the process.

**Carmilla:** I need you.

\----------------------------------------------

Laura was laid out on the couch watching Doctor Who reruns when her phone lit up on the table. She reached for it and smiled when she saw it was a text from Carmilla. When she opened the message, however, her smile quickly faded. She got up and put on her jacket and shoes before writing a note to LaFontaine, grabbing her keys and being on her way, texting Carmilla as she walked.

**Laura:** On my way.

She made it to Carmilla’s building in record time, having gotten more worried as she walked over, and ending up half jogging to get there faster. She pressed Carmilla's buzzer probably way too many times, eventually being let in. She quickly made her way upstairs to Carmilla's apartment, knocking on her door.

"Carmilla?"

It took a couple of tries, but she heard a vague response of sorts, telling her the door was open. She made her way inside, locking the door behind her. It was nearly completely dark inside, but after blinking a couple of times, Laura could make out the shape of Carmilla curled up in a ball on the couch, staring blankly out into the room.

Laura walked over and took a seat on the edge of the couch, placing a hand on Carmilla's shoulder in what she thought would be a comforting way. Carmilla was quick to shy away from the touch though, which Laura could understand.

"Are you okay?" Laura asked. She knew it was a stupid question, but she really couldn't think of anything better to ask at the moment. Carmilla only shook her head though, and Laura was a little bit lost for words, so she decided to try again, only she was warning Carmilla this time. "Is it okay if I touch you?"

It took a moment, but eventually Carmilla nodded weakly. Laura could see that she tensed up, bracing herself for the touch. So Laura slowly and carefully placed her hand on Carmilla's upper arm, rubbing her thumb back and forth on the exposed skin there. They were sat like this for a while, completely silent and in the dark, until Carmilla stirred slightly and mumbled something indecipherable.

Laura furrowed her brows, "what?"

Clearing her throat, Carmilla tried again, "will you lay with me?"

Without hesitating, Laura carefully positioned herself behind Carmilla, bringing an arm around her protectively. Carmilla hugged Laura's arm tightly to her chest, scooting back closer to Laura who placed a kiss to the back of Carmilla's neck.

"I'm right here. You're okay."

After a few minutes, Carmilla turned around to face Laura. Laura could see Carmilla's puffy eyes, clearly from crying, and though she felt anger flare up inside her, she knew this really was not the time. She brought a hand up to tuck a few strands of loose hairs behind Carmilla's ear, before placing her hand on her cheek only to have Carmilla flinch hard and back away slightly. Laura looked at her in question, but Carmilla was avoiding eye contact.

Carmilla couldn't look at Laura when she said it, but looking away she mumbled, "my mother slapped me."

Carmilla felt Laura tense up, and when she raised her head again to look at Laura, she could see all the rage in her eyes. She scooted closer to Laura again, burying her face in her shoulder, and immediately Laura put aside every ounce of anger she was feeling and hugged Carmilla tighter.

Some minutes passed before Carmilla pulled back again, “I’m really hungry.”

Laura had to let out a small laugh then, “didn’t you just have dinner?”

Carmilla shook her head, “I left before I actually ate anything. It didn’t exactly take long for things to go south.”

“Well," Laura started, thinking for a second before continuing, "how about we order some food and do whatever you want before turning in early and letting today be tomorrow’s yesterday without much effort?”

Carmilla chuckled then, “that sounds perfect.”

\----------------------------------------------

Laura had ordered the two  of them dinner, which they had consumed while watching a nonsense reality TV show. Now, they were sat at each end of the couch facing each other, a sketchbook each in their laps, both focused on their drawing of the other. After dinner, Carmilla had suggested they draw each other, because she wanted to do something other than watch TV, but she still didn't really want to talk or sleep, so she thought this could be something.

"Okay," Carmilla said after a while, "I'm done with mine."

"Okay, hang on, almost there," Laura said with her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth, deeply concentrated on her drawing.

"Those are some crazy last minute changes you're making there," Carmilla said after a moment of Laura seemingly making a lot of new hasty lines.

"Yeah, well, I really suck at noses, okay?"

Carmilla laughed, and Laura finished her drawing a couple of minutes later.

"Alright," Laura said, "you go first."

Carmilla turned around her sketchbook so Laura could see her drawing. It was a quick, mostly line-based sketch of Laura's face, and Laura was beyond impressed that Carmilla had done it in around 30 minutes.

"Damn it, yours is so good."

"Thanks," Carmilla laughed.

Laura cocked her head to the side before adding a comment, "I do look a little bit homeless though. Because of the way my hair seems to be kind of everywhere…"

Carmilla looked down at her drawing before looking at Laura again, nodding, "you do look kinda homeless."

"Gee, thanks, "she narrowed her eyes, "also, what's that on my face there? Is that shadowing?" She pointed to her nose on the drawing.

"Oh, you mean this?" Carmilla asked as she pointed to where Laura had gestured. When Laura nodded, Carmilla continued, "well that's just the led that's on your face from when you smeared something on your paper and then scratched that itch on your nose with the same finger about twenty minutes ago."

Laura's eyes widened, "what, no."

Carmilla nodded, "yeah."

"Oh come on," Laura whined as she pulled out her phone to use the camera as a mirror, "oh my God."

"I figured because it had been there for so long I should include it as it is now an eternal part of you it seems. Just trying to be realistic." She let out a laugh, "Laura, rubbing it more is not making it go away…"

Laura extended her foot and nudged Carmilla's thigh, "you are such an ass."

"Why thank you, thank you very much."

"No," Laura answered, "thank _you_ for saying something sooner."

They both looked at each other then for a moment before breaking out laughing.

"Alright," Laura started when a moment later they had calmed down some, "here we go. But just take it easy on me, okay? And don't freak out."

"What do you mean don't freak out?"

"I mean don't freak out! Because you might freak out a little bit when you actually see my drawing… Because of how good it is I mean!"

When Laura turned over her sketchbook so Carmilla could see her drawing, Carmilla couldn't help but laugh. The drawing looked something like a child's stick figure family portrait in style, which isn't necessarily bad, except that this one was pretty bad. The nose looked more like a pyramid of sorts than anything else, which Carmilla wasn't sure how that would even happen, but it seemed to have happened here anyway. The eyes were also drawn so unevenly that it looked as if the drawing was permanently sceptical of everything, which to be fair wasn't too far from reality in many ways.

"Wow," Carmilla started, "that is beautiful. If I look even half that good in real life I have to say that I got very lucky, didn't I?" Laura broke out laughing again, and Carmilla asked, "oh and uhh, what are those things growing out of my hair supposed to be?"

"Oh these?" Laura gestured to the so called flowers she had tried to draw, "these are flowers. Growing out of your brain. Just the normal stuff."

"Right," Carmilla said skeptically, "normal."

"They were supposed to represent the peculiar thoughts that grow out of your beautiful mind. Because even though your brain seems like a very intense place sometimes, most of the time I find your thoughts completely beautiful."

Carmilla just looked at Laura for a few seconds before asking, "why are you so nice to me?"

Laura set her sketchbook down, "well, it's pretty easy if I'm being honest. Because you are the weirdest, most beautiful person I have ever met in my whole entire life." After a couple of seconds she added, "maybe a bit mean sometimes though."

Carmilla didn't know what to say to that, so she sat her sketchbook down on the floor next to the couch, crawling over to Laura to kiss her. The kiss was slow and deep, and Carmilla tried to pour all the emotion she could gather into the kiss to let Laura know how she was feeling. Laura slid down further on the couch until she was lying on her back with Carmilla sat straddling her hips.

After some minutes of making out, Laura's need for air became too much, so she broke the kiss panting. Carmilla laid down next to her, placing her head down on Laura's chest.

Nearly five minutes later, Carmilla suddenly raised herself up some, leaning back on her elbow so she could still look at Laura's face. She looked at Laura for a few seconds before carefully saying, "I think I love you." The shock must have been evident on Laura's face, because Carmilla was quick to sit back and start rambling, "I don't want you to think I'm saying that just because I want you to say it though, because I don't. I mean of course I hope you'll say it back you know, but there's no rush or anything, I'm perfectly happy like this. So I guess what I'm saying is that just because I just said it that doesn't mean that you have to say it too, it's completely okay."

Laura smiled sweetly at Carmilla as she went on, waiting for her to finish. When she was pretty sure Carmilla was done, she pecked her lips before simply saying, "I love you too."

Carmilla grinned, and she kissed Laura one more time before laying back down, feeling Laura tighten her hold on her. _Maybe a bad day can be turned around then,_ Carmilla thought _,_ feeling optimistic about the future for the first time in a long time, thinking maybe it wasn't so bad if her darkness met a little bit of light.


	7. What do normal people do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all the people out there following this story, I am so sorry I haven't updated this in about two months. Hopefully some of you guys are still with me!

Laura was the first one to wake up the following morning. She stretched slightly and yawned before blinking her eyes open. She smiled as she looked down to find the mess that was Carmilla curled up in her arms, sound asleep. She brought a hand up to carefully move some of Carmilla's hair out of her face, carefully placing a hand on Carmilla's cheek.

Carmilla's eyes fluttered open then, and she smiled when she managed to focus on Laura who was laid in front of her, before closing her eyes again and simply snuggling up closer to Laura.

Laura laughed, but she still hugged her to her for a moment before lifting her head slightly.

"I'm hungry."

Carmilla sighed and mumbled out, "get something to eat then."

"See, I would do that, but it seems you have physically attached yourself to my body, so moving is an issue right now."

A moment passed, and for a second Laura was sure Carmilla had fallen asleep again, before Carmilla groaned and let go of Laura. She turned to lay on her back, and Laura was about to get up when she caught sight of the light bruise that was colouring Carmilla's cheek. She gasped and brought her hand up to touch it, only for Carmilla to flinch and bring her own hand up to cover it.

"I'm sorry!" Laura immediately said, sitting up fully. "I don't know why I did that, that was stupid. I'm sorry."

Carmilla shook her head, "it's okay," before laughing a little bit, "just don't do it again maybe?"

"I won't," Laura agreed. When Carmilla nodded and relaxed again, Laura kissed her other cheek before climbing over her and moving towards the kitchen.

When Laura left, Carmilla let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding, before just shaking her head and turning back to her side. Closing her eyes, she was asleep again within a minute.

\----------------------------------------------

The next time Carmilla woke up, it was because Laura had ran her hand through Carmilla's hair and whispered her name. Carmilla could smell pancakes and she smiled before opening her eyes to see Laura stood next to the couch with breakfast.

"Pancakes?" Carmilla asked for confirmation.

"Pancakes."

"Chocolate chip?"

Laura laughed, but nodded none the less, "chocolate chip."

Carmilla's smile turned into a full blown grin then, and when Laura sat down on the edge of the couch after having set down the food, she was pulled down into Carmilla's arms in a warm hug. She kissed Laura's temple before letting her go and sitting up.

Laura handed her a plate, and she started to dig in.

"Everything is perfect, you're perfect," Carmilla said after a couple of minutes, breaking the comfortable silence.

Turning to face her, Laura was about to speak up when she saw Carmilla had some chocolate in her face and she started laughing instead.

"What?" Carmilla asked cluelessly.

"You just have a little-" Laura started, interrupting herself, "here, can I just mom you for a second?"

Carmilla looked sceptical, but eventually shrugged, "sure, okay?"

Laura licked her thumb then, before rubbing at some chocolate that had found its way to Carmilla's chin.

"There," she said as she retracted her hand, "you're good."

Carmilla's eyes darkened and she was sat looking at Laura for a moment before shaking her head lightly, "thanks."

Laura just waved a hand to dismiss the thanks, "so anyway, what do you want to do today?"

"Can we just do nothing? Would that be okay?"

"That would be completely okay with me."

Smiling, Carmilla grabbed Laura's free hand with her own, and they continued to eat in silence.

\----------------------------------------------

"I think she's ignoring me," Laura said, turning to face Carmilla, "are you ignoring me?"

It was a few days later as Laura, Perry and LaFontaine was studying in the library when Carmilla had come along. Carmilla had just taken a seat next to Laura before grabbing her own books out of her backpack and getting started. It had been around an hour since then, and Laura was clearly getting restless. She had talked to LaFontaine about something nonsensical for the past fifteen minutes or so, as LaFontaine had also been more than happy to take a break from their work. Now, however, she was trying to get Carmilla's attention, which was proving to be somewhat difficult.

Carmilla sighed and looked up from her textbook when Laura tried for the tenth time, "I'm not ignoring you, cupcake, I'm trying to study. "

Laura laughed, "I mean obviously, yes, I can see that. But then a little conversation every now and then never hurt anyone, right?"

"Well, while we're having this conversation I could have probably read at least half a page of this book which means that this conversation in particular is potentially hurting my grades which in turn is potentially hurting me, isn't it?" Carmilla smirked, "so I think you're wrong, I think casual conversation can hurt sometimes."

Laura narrowed her eyes at Carmilla before punching her lightly in the arm.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"You were being a smartass."

Carmilla rolled her eyes but kissed Laura's cheek anyway before getting back to work.

Laura just smiled, happy with the attention she did get, before turning her attention back to LaFontaine and Perry who were both looking at her and Carmilla's interaction with one of their looks.

"What?" Laura asked.

LaFontaine shrugged, "nothing," before smiling knowingly at Perry.

Laura looked at the two of them for another moment with narrowed eyes, having a feeling that it was actually something, but she ended up just shaking her head and getting back to her own reading.

\----------------------------------------------

A couple of day's later, Carmilla was stood waiting for Laura outside her classroom, reading, when a tall redhead came along.

"Hey," the girl started, "Carmilla, right?"

Carmilla looked up at her in question, "do I know you?"

"Oh, no, I'm Danny! I'm friends with Laura, she's told me so much about you that I figured you just had to be, well, you!" Danny laughed nervously.

Carmilla just looked at her incredulously for a moment before getting back to her book.

Danny nodded, "right, not the talkative type." When Carmilla didn't react, Danny continued, "I guess I just thought from the way Laura talks about you-"

"Look," Carmilla interrupted and sighed, "it's great that you're friends with Laura and everything, but you and I don't have to be. In fact, we probably won't be."

Danny raised her eyebrows, and looked like she was about to argue, but she was saved by the bell, also known as Laura walking out of her classroom.

"Hey!" Laura grinned, walking over to Carmilla to give her a short sweet kiss. When she pulled back, Carmilla smiled.

"Oh my God, she actually smiles? That’s crazy," Danny sarcastically commented.

Carmilla narrowed her eyes at Danny, "oh bite me."

"Alrighty then!" Laura broke in. She turned to Carmilla again, "not that this isn't a very nice surprise, but what are you doing here, I thought we were meeting later because you had today off?"

Carmilla nodded, "I did, but Mrs. Matthews asked to see me, so here we are!" She shrugged, "I just thought I would stop by."

"Oh how nice," Danny said sarcastically, "but Laura and I were going to the library to do some work, sorry."

Carmilla looked at Danny with an uninterested look before turning to Laura, "alright, so I should get going. I'll see you tonight?"

"Yes, definitely. Can we order in?"

"Of course, anything for you."

Laura grinned and gave her another kiss then, "okay, I'll be over in a couple of hours."

"Perfect," Carmilla smiled, before turning back to Danny, "Sasquatch."

Danny nodded, "fang face."

And with that, Carmilla was walking off.

"So she seems like a riot," Danny said as she and Laura headed towards the library.

Laura frowned, "what do you mean?"

"I don't know, I guess she's just kind of mean, isn't she? Offstandish… Broody… At the very least she's really rude."

"She just needs some time."

"Whatever you say."

Laura didn't say anything, but she did start thinking. Maybe Carmilla was a bit ruder than some people, but she wasn't a bad person. Was she? _No,_ she thought, _Carmilla is not mean._ Although, she supposed she could agree that maybe Carmilla was a little bit rude sometimes, but it wasn't really _that_ bad. As Danny went on to talk about an essay she was to write, Laura pretended to listen while her mind was busy trying to figure out what Carmilla said to Danny to make her dislike her. This was also the case for the entirety of the time the two of them spent in the library that afternoon.

\----------------------------------------------

As Laura said goodbye to Danny and walked towards Carmilla's apartment, she was still thinking about the encounter she had witnessed earlier that day, and what Danny had said about Carmilla. She had only met her for what she assumed was a few minutes, but already she was sure she didn't like Carmilla. Laura couldn't help by wonder why.

When she was let into Carmilla's building, she marched up the stairs and all but stormed into Carmilla's apartment.

"What did you say to Danny?"

Carmilla was a bit taken aback to say the least. She raised her eyebrows as she closed the door after Laura ran past her, "uhm what do you mean? I haven't really said much to be honest, I literally just met her for five seconds?"

Laura let out an exasperated sigh, "I mean what did you say to her? She's under the impression that you're a jerk."

Carmilla snorted, "but Laura, I _am_ kind of an ass most of the time…"

"Not to me!"

Carmilla furrowed her brows and walked over to Laura then, "well that's because I like you? Laura what is going on?"

"Nothing!" Laura yelled back, before walking over to the couch and taking a seat, "I just want to know what you said to her."

Carmilla shrugged, "nothing really, I said it was great that she's your friend-"

"And..?" Laura interrupted before Carmilla could finish.

"And I also said that _we_ didn't have to be friends and that we probably wouldn't be." She sat down next to Laura and turned to face her, "and that was it. I didn't say anything else, I swear to God."

Laura groaned in frustration and threw her head back, "but I don't understand, it seems like she _really_ doesn't like you."

Shrugging again, Carmilla casually said, "a lot of people don't like me."

Laura turned her head to look at Carmilla then, and with a softer voice she said, "but I like you. I really like you. And I want everyone to like you because you're amazing!"

Smiling shyly, Carmilla nodded, "I know."

There was a brief moment of silence, before Carmilla took Laura's hand in her own.

"Look," she started, "I'm sorry about what happened with Danny. I'll try to be nicer next time."

"Really?"

Carmilla rolled her eyes and raised her free hand to motion a halo over her head.

Laughing, Laura pecked Carmilla's lips, "thank you." When Carmilla only nodded, Laura changed the topic, "I'm hungry."

\----------------------------------------------

The following week, Carmilla and Laura were walking home from a dinner date when Laura brought up something that had been on her mind.

"So," she dragged out as she started, "my dad is coming to visit this weekend."

"Hey, that's great!"

"Yeah," Laura said, sounding somewhat downhearted.

Carmilla furrowed her brows and looked at her, questioningly changing her answer, "that's not so great?"

"No, it'll be nice, I just- I was hoping the two of you could maybe meet?"

Carmilla snorted then, and before she could think she was already talking, "right, okay, that's funny. Meeting your dad,” she chuckled, “yeah right."

It was only when Laura stopped than Carmilla realised what she had said, and she was already slightly terrified. Laura only looked at her expectantly, so Carmilla cleared her throat and tried again.

"I mean- I was just- I thought- Uhm…” Carmilla was struggling to find the words she was looking for. “Look, Laura. I just don’t think meeting your dad is the best idea.”

Laura furrowed her brows, “what do you mean? Why not?”

“I just- I don’t know… I just don’t really want to?”

“Why not?” Laura repeated.

“I don’t know!” Carmilla said in a tone that came off as maybe a bit more annoyed that she had initially intended. She closed her eyes and took a breath before more calmly adding, “I’m just not great with people, you know?”

Crossing her arms then, Laura simply looked Carmilla for a moment, waiting for something, _anything._ It was only when a minute passed and Carmilla had yet to say anything else that Laura realised that no matter how long she waited for, Carmilla wasn’t very likely to give her any explanations.

Throwing her hands up in frustration, Laura started, “why do you always have to be like this?”

“What do you mean? Be like what?”

“Like this!” Laura all but yelled, “why do you just automatically go to being an ass when you don’t want to confront something? Would it kill you to be a grown up for two seconds?”

“I mean,” Carmilla started, thinking she could take this conversation one of two ways. She could either just take a breath, bite the bullet, and agree to meet Laura’s dad, or she could be the stubborn ass she usually is. _Don’t be a shit,_ she thought, _Laura deserves better, do no be an ass right now_. And with that she replied, “it might.” _God damn it._

“God, Carmilla, come on. This is exactly my point! Could you not just stop? Just for a minute.”

“I thought we just established that stopping would kill me..?” Y _ou god damn idiot piece of shit asshole, stop it._

“Oh my god!” Laura began, before taking a breath and calming down some, "you know what’s _so_ annoying? You could be great! If you could just be a normal person for two seconds. No brooding, no mean or wise-ass comments, no nonsense. Just you."

_Could be great,_ Carmilla thought. There it was again, those three words her mother had recited to her so many times in the midst of the fury. The words that she never thought she would hear from Laura.

A bit taken aback by this, Carmilla just barely managed to stutter out, “normal?” While she looked at Laura in question, confusion clearly written on her face, “well what do normal people do?”

"They have dinner with their girlfriend and her father."

Carmilla should have seen that coming. She did walk right into it to be fair, and yet she wasn't ready. She thought for a moment before looking down and quietly saying, "I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?" Laura was clearly confused.

"I just can't, okay?"

"You can't even give me a reason? Why?"

"I don't know!" Carmilla all but yelled back, "I don't know why, I just can't." She took a breath, "I'm sorry."

Laura shook her head then, silently giving up. All she could say before she turned to walk away was, "no, Carmilla, I'm sorry."

It took a few moments for Carmilla to catch on, but when she did, her head snapped back up and she began to talk, "Laura, I didn't-" but by the time she managed to react Laura was already gone. Carmilla blinked a couple of times before lightly shaking her head, "what the fuck just happened?"

She debated for a moment to follow Laura and head over to her apartment, but she decided she wouldn't in fear she would end up making things worse somehow. She also realised she didn't know what to say, because what she had said so far hadn't ended up too good. In the end, Carmilla trudged on to her own apartment, thinking she would go to bed, try to forget about everything for a moment, and just wake up tomorrow and try again.

\----------------------------------------------

As Laura was walking away she was feeling worse than she remembered ever having felt. She couldn't help but think that she overreacted, immediately wishing she could go back and erase everything that just happened. Her thoughts were a mess, and when she made it to her building, she saw herself in the window reflection. She hadn't even noticed the tears that were steadily making their way down her cheeks, and the sight of them only made her cry harder. Unlocking and opening the door, Laura practically ran upstairs and into her and LaFontaine's shared apartment, quickly making her way to her own bedroom before slamming the door behind her and landing face first on her bed.

A moment later Laura heard LaFontaine knock on her door, "Laura?"

Laura effectively ignored them, so LaFontaine tried again, "Laura, are you okay?"

Huffing, Laura grabbed her headphones off the nightstand before plugging them into her phone and placing them over her ears. She turned up the volume until she was sure the world around her didn't exist anymore, before curling up into a ball lying on top of her sheets. _Why did I do that?_ She thought, _why would I say that?_ _Why would I act that way?_

Laura couldn’t for the life of her figure out why she did what she did, and if she was angry with herself, she could only begin to imagine how Carmilla had to be feeling right about now. She reached behind her for her phone, unlocking it and finding Carmilla in her contacts. She laid staring at the contact information for a moment before putting her phone away again. Covering her face with her hands, Laura let a fresh set of tears fall from her eyes.

She spent what she was sure was hours like this. Going back and forth, debating whether to call Carmilla or not, whether to text her or not, crying and then not crying. She was a mess and she felt like absolute crap. In the end, she fell asleep exhausted with wet tears still staining her cheeks.

\----------------------------------------------

The next morning when Carmilla woke up, she couldn't help but sigh and think she was better of being asleep.

_Piece of shit._ She thought as she laid in bed staring up at the ceiling. _Stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit._

"But I know I'm a piece of shit, so that should at least make me better than all the other pieces of shit who don't even know they're pieces of shit." She thought out loud, before furrowing her brows after giving it a some thought, "or is it worse?"

Carmilla groaned in frustration and threw an arm over her head, she was feeling beyond terrible.

_Breakfast,_ she thought when her stomach made a sound to let her know she should probably eat something. However, as she was opening her fridge to see what there was, there was a small voice in the back of her mind saying, _you don't deserve breakfast._

"Oh shut up, let's not feel sorry for ourselves, what does that even do?" She replied and closed the door to the fridge. She gave up the concept of a proper breakfast about two seconds later, and opted for some cookies that were sat on the counter instead.

_These are cookies, not breakfast. You are eating cookies, stop it._ She shook her head at herself, _stop eating cookies and go make yourself breakfast. Like an adult._ She grabbed another cookie, and the voice in her head kept going, _stop it. Don't eat one more cookie- you put that cookie down!_

She considered for a moment to actually make a real breakfast, but after a moment she felt like she suddenly had to prove herself to, well, to herself. To the voice in her head. So, with a smirk firmly gracing her face, she ate the cookie.

_Ahh, I can't believe you ate that cookie!_

"Suck it," was all she could think to say back, and she did so with a satisfied grin. That was, until she realised she was having a conversation with herself. She shook her head before grabbing all the cookies, bringing them over to the coffee table, and practically falling down onto the couch face first.

\----------------------------------------------

Later that same day, after hours of feeling sorry for herself, Carmilla decided it was time. _Go talk to her, idiot,_ she thought.

"Shower first," she said as she made her way towards her bathroom.

_No_. The voice in her head argued, _forget about the stupid shower, talk to your girlfriend._

Carmilla sighed, but turned on her heel, heading towards her closet instead. 

_You're ruining her._ The voice continued, _you know that, right? No matter what, your poison is already in her, there's nothing you can do._

Carmilla huffed and furrowed her brows, "that's not true."

_Yeah, it is._

Like any sane person, Carmilla was aware of the fact that she was, once again, having a conversation with herself. At this point, she couldn't find it in herself to care. If this was how it was going to be, then so be it.

"No, it's not," she eventually replied.

_You stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit, and everywhere you go you destroy people. Of course your mother never loved you. What did you even expect? That's why your father died, that's why nobody will ever love you. And what are you going to do about it? Any of it. What are you going to do to Laura? Huh? What are you going to do, you stupid asshole?_

"Oh shut up!" Carmilla suddenly yelled at no one as she slammed the door to her closet shut. She closed her eyes and let her head fall to the door, taking a few deep breaths. Eventually, after having calmed down a little bit, she sighed, "fuck."

Carmilla pulled the old t-shirt she had been wearing over her head and put on a fresh one before grabbing her keys and running out of her apartment, "I have to fix this."

\----------------------------------------------

Carmilla made her way over to Laura's place in record time, pressing the buzzer too many times, until eventually she was let in by a complaining neighbour.

Standing outside Laura's door, Carmilla knocked, "Laura, are you in there?"

No answer.

She knocked again, harder this time. "Laura, please. If you're in there, will you please come open the door?"

Putting her ear to the door, she could hear what she thought was someone shuffling around. A second later, she heard something shatter, followed by a few selected expletives.

"Is everything okay?" Was all Carmilla could think to ask then.

On the other side of the door, Laura was sat on the floor surrounded by her now shattered TARDIS mug. She wanted nothing more than to open the door separating her from Carmilla, run into her arms and apologise until the end of the world, but she really didn't know what to say and she was terrified of saying the wrong thing and making everything that much worse. Instead, she crawled over to the door and took a seat leaning back against it, hugging her knees to her chest.

Carmilla sighed, realising Laura was not about to forgive her just like that she leaned with her back against the door before sliding down to the floor.

"I'm a stupid piece of shit," Carmilla said.

Laura furrowed her brows then, clearly confused. Carmilla was not the stupid piece of shit in this scenario, no, last time Laura checked that was definitely her.

"I know I screwed up, and I'm sorry," Carmilla spoke up before Laura could say anything, "I just, I freak out sometimes and I become an ass, I'm sorry."

When Laura still didn't say anything, Carmilla continued. "I didn't mean I can't meet your dad, of course I can, I'm just scared. I'm just going to mess it up like I mess everything up and I can't do that, Laura, I just, I can't." She took a breath before adding, "I'm sorry I can't be the normal you want me to be."

A few minutes passed, Laura completely unable to form any words, and Carmilla on the other side of the door losing faith. Laura didn't know what to say because yes, she had said to Carmilla last night that she wished she was normal. How was she supposed to come back from that? There wasn't even anything wrong with Carmilla, Laura didn't know why she had even said it.

Just as Carmilla was getting ready to leave, thinking she had messed things up to the point where nothing could be fixed, Laura opened the door and Carmilla fell backwards. Her head hit the floor, and she couldn't help the words that escaped her lips then.

"Son of a whore! What the hell, Laura?"

Laura simply watched on in shock as Carmilla brought a hand to the back of her head, only reacting after a couple of minutes.

"Oh my gosh, Carmilla! Are you okay?"

Unable to stop herself, Carmilla let out a chuckle and shrugged, "always with the doors."

Laura let a small smile form on her face too then, before she offered a hand to help Carmilla back up, "we should probably try not to make that a habit."

When Carmilla was back on her feet, Laura let go of Carmilla's hand in favour of crossing her arms over her chest defensively. Carmilla's face fell, but she couldn't help but hold onto hope seeing how Laura had actually opened the door.

After a couple of minutes of semi-awkward silence, they both spoke up.

"Laura, I-"

"I shouldn't ha-"

Carmilla shook her head smiling, gesturing for Laura to go ahead.

"I shouldn't have said all those things. That really wasn't nice at all. And I'm sorry."

"What?" Carmilla asked dumbfounded, " _you_ 're sorry? Laura, _I'm_ sorry. I acted like an idiot and a child and I don't even know why to be completely honest, but I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry. Sometimes I'm shitty simply because I'm shitty. And you're completely allowed to be mad at me, but I need you to know that whatever I do it's not your fault."

Laura looked down to the ground as she spoke up again, "I said you could be great if you were just normal for two seconds, but that's not true." She looked back up, meeting Carmilla's eyes, "you're already great."

Carmilla smiled, "even though I'm not normal? Whatever that means…"

Laura nodded and smiled, tearing up once again. She took a step towards Carmilla, who simply opened her arms to her.

"I'm so sorry," Laura said again as she buried her face in Carmilla's shoulder, suddenly sobbing uncontrollably.

"It's okay," Carmilla replied as she rubbed her hand up and down Laura's back, "I'm sorry too."

"I shouldn't have pushed it on you. Meeting my dad I mean."

"About that," Carmilla said as she pulled back from the hug, but still holding on to Laura by the waist "I don't know why I said any of those things last night. I would love to meet your dad."

Laura shook her head, "no, it's okay if you're not ready for all that. There will be other times."

"No," Carmilla started, "well, yes, but no. I'm ready. I mean you'll be there, right?"

Laughing, Laura nodded, "yes, I think I'll be there."

"Then as long as you're there, I'll be okay."

Laura grinned and leaned in to bring their lips together in a gentle, sweet, kiss, which she only pulled back from when she was sure her lunges would burst. She laughed lightly and laid her forehead down on Carmilla's shoulder.

"I love you," Laura said after a moment of silence passed.

Carmilla grinned and hugged Laura again, "I love you."


	8. Clark Kent is Superman?!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been abandoned for way too long. I could make up tons of excuses for why it's been so long, but really its always best to blame uni and dissertation things. I swear, one of these days I will have to formally email my professors telling them to leave me the f*ck alone for a few weeks, it's writing time.
> 
> I have not proofread anything as of right now, I might get around to it at some point, but just know that there are bound to be mistakes here and there.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the chapter, and thank you if you're still around!

Carmilla and Laura had created their own little bubble over the past couple of days after their fight. Carmilla had apologised countless times, and most of those times were just for good measure, Laura had long since forgiven her for something she was still sure was her fault. Regardless, when Saturday rolled around Carmilla could be found having locked herself in the bathroom to hide out, silently panicking about the upcoming dinner with Laura's father.

Laura knocked on the door, "are you okay?"

Carmilla shook her head, and yelled out, "I'm fine! Just give me a second."

Laura sighed and leaned against the door, "you don’t have to do this, you know? We can just forget all about it! It’s not too late to back out."

Carmilla unlocked the door, making Laura jump away from it, before opening it and facing Laura. "No, you said you wanted me to see your world and have dinner with your dad, so we are going to do exactly that."

Looking to the ground, Laura said, "well I just want you to know I wouldn’t hold you to anything if you don't want to go."

"Laura," Carmilla started, holding Laura’s face in her hands, "I said I’ll do it and I’ll do it. It’s all just a part of getting to know you. I will be fine."

Laura smiled and leaned forward to meet Carmilla's lips in a short sweet kiss. Pulling back, she smiled and nodded, "okay. You look beautiful."

Carmilla looked down at what she was wearing, the exact same thing as always. Laughing, she said, "I'm wearing the same clothes I always wear."

"I know," Laura started, smiling back, “you're always beautiful."

Laura pecked Carmilla's lips one last time before turning on her heel and walking over to her closet to pick out her shoes for the day, while Carmilla was still stood in the bathroom doorway trying to hide her blush from no one in particular.

A couple of moments later when they came out of Laura's room, LaFontaine and Perry immediately turned towards the two of them with wide smiles on their faces. Perry tried to supress a squeal as she got up from the couch and walked over to embrace the two of them.

"Oh my gosh, you guys are so cute!" She said as she hugged both of them at once, Laura reciprocating and Carmilla standing there stiffly and awkwardly.

It was only when LaFontaine got up and practically pried Perry away from Laura and Carmilla that she let up a little bit, apologising for getting excited.

"Yeah, you guys look great," LaFontaine agreed, "you excited?" they asked Carmilla.

Carmilla only shrugged and smiled weakly, the nervousness having long since taken over her ability to speak.

Laughing, LaFontaine just patted her shoulder comfortingly, "if it's any consolation I felt about the same way you feel now the first time I was meeting this gal's parents," they said, bringing Perry closer to them by the waist.

Laura couldn't help herself then, "I think you meant to say you were about two minutes from unwillingly emptying all the contents from your stomach by the time Perry here knocked on our door. Carmilla is holding up great compared to you."

"Whatever," LaFontaine mumbled, dragging her feet and pulling Perry behind her back to the couch.

Carmilla returned from wherever she had gone off to in her head and turned to Laura asking if they should go.

Nodding, Laura lead the way out of the apartment, but just before she closed the door, Perry shouted after them.

"Now you kids behave, alright?"

"And don't get pregnant!" LaFontaine added, but the pair was already gone by the time it left her mouth. Perry only laughed and punched them lightly in the arm.

"Ouch! What?"

Perry just shook her head and smiled, kissing LaFontaine's cheek before leaning back into them, pressing play on the movie they were watching before their short interruption.

\----------------------------------------------

As Carmilla and Laura got closer to the restaurant where they were meeting, Laura's mind was working full speed. Why had she talked Carmilla into this again? Maybe this wasn't the great idea she had initially thought it was. After all, she did know her father could be very overprotective and interrogative when he wanted to be, and Carmilla, as far as Laura had understood, was not great with interrogative questioning techniques. Feeling more nervous on Carmilla's behalf by the minute, Laura couldn't help herself.

"You know," she started, leaning closer to Carmilla as they kept walking, "it's not too late to back out."

Carmilla let out a laugh, "will you please stop saying that? I'm fine. I am completely relaxed." She kissed Laura's cheek for good measure who just squeezed Carmilla's hand in response.

When they rounded the next corner, a man a bit further up the street seemed to be studying the pair for a moment before grinning and waving his arms high and wide for everyone to see.

Carmilla immediately connected the dots and her nerves flared up again, "is that your dad?" She leaned closer to Laura to ask, before whispering to herself, "shit."

Leaning back towards Carmilla, Laura simply answered, "it's okay, you're okay. Just, I don't know, just say you like his jeans or something."

Carmilla turned to her in question, "what?" But it was too late, they had already reached their destination and Laura was already greeting her father.

"Hey dad!"

"Ahh I've missed you so much, Nicks," Mr Hollis said as he embraced his daughter, "it's so good to see you."

Carmilla couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her face as she watched the scene play out in front of her, she couldn’t help but think of the similar times she used to have with her own father.

"Dad, this is Carmilla," Laura said as she backed out of his embrace and stood back by Carmilla's side, "Carmilla, this is my dad, John."

Carmilla held her hand out, ready to shake John's hand. John, however, had other plans and before Laura could do anything to stop him, he stepped forward and embraced Carmilla.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Nicks has told me so much about you."

Carmilla didn't want to appear rude, so she fought against every instinct screaming inside her to push him away, and instead she stood there stiffly while he hugged him. This was the second time John had referred to Laura as Nicks though, which she found weird and that was definitely something she would bring up again later.

Just as she was making a mental note not to forget, John released her, and Carmilla smiled at him as she repeated his own words, "Mr Hollis, it's very nice to meet you."

"Oh please, Mr Hollis is my father. Call me John. Or dad even…"

"Dad!" Laura jumped in, "too soon. Take it easy, we don't want to scare her off."

Carmilla just laughed and placed an arm around Laura’s waist to hug her to her, "don't worry about me, I plan on sticking around for a while." She quickly pecked Laura’s cheek then too, smirking when Laura ducked her head and her cheeks turned a shade of crimson.

When Laura looked back at Carmilla a moment later, John saw a very specific look in his daughter's eyes. It was the same look Laura’s mother had when she had looked at him all those years ago before all their troubles, and it was enough to bring tears to his eyes. Not wanting to cry, however, and show Carmilla what a gigantic softie he really was during their first meeting, he held the tears back with all his might.

A moment later, Laura and Carmilla broke out of whatever staring contest they had just been having, and Carmilla took this opportunity to do what Laura said.

“I like your jeans,” she said, gesturing to John’s fading blue jeans.

“Why, thank you, Carmilla!” John said, smiling brightly at her before turning to his daughter with a pointed look, “see? These are good jeans.”

Laura just rolled her eyes, before answering with a hint of distaste, “no, dad, they’re really not. I keep telling you, they’re like granny jeans or something.”

John feigned hurt then, “so rude,” before grinning and pointing to the the shirt he was wearing, “but this is nice, right?”

“Yeah dad,” Laura laughed, “nailed it.”

Carmilla gave an awkward thumbs up response, something she was sure she had never done before and that she was now wondering why she suddenly felt the need to do it. Lightly shaking her head at herself, she simply went to hold the door open for the other two who thanked her politely as they made their way inside.

\----------------------------------------------

A good while into their dinner later, everything was going so much better than Carmilla had ever thought. Whenever she started to get antsy and panicky, searching desperately for an exit strategy, Laura would be right there to calm her down again. Other than those few moments, Carmilla had enjoyed listening to the father daughter banter going on between John and Laura, and she had been more than happy to talk about her studies and photography when John had asked about her major. She tried her best to be polite and respectful, and Laura kept smiling at her so she supposed she might be doing something right. Sitting like this, having dinner like this, she had to admit that she found it refreshing and nice. Nicer than she would like to admit.

“Carm!” Laura said, a bit louder than usual to catch Carmilla’s attention, only laughing when Carmilla visibly broke out of her thought and looked at her with confusion clearly written on her face.

“Sorry,” she replied sheepishly before looking to where she could have sworn John was just sitting a moment ago, “where did your father go?”

“It’s okay,” Laura assured her, placing a hand on her thigh for extra reassurance “he just went to the bathroom. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Carmilla nodded and smiled, “I’m great.”

“Yeah?” Laura asked, sounding more hopeful than she would have liked, not wanting to push Carmilla to do anything she didn’t want to. “Because we can leave if you want to, we don’t have to stay for dessert.”

Carmilla snorted, “as much as I’d like to believe that, I know you’ve got your eye on those cookies I saw in the menu earlier,” she teases.

“Well yeah,” Laura has to admit, “but I might just survive without them.”

When immediate regret flooded her mind, she quickly added, “or we could just get some to take home, that would also be fine.”

When Carmilla only managed to produce half a smile in response to that, Laura moved her hand from where it was resting on Carmilla’s thigh to cup her face gently, immediately feeling Carmilla lean into it and sigh.

“Are you sure everything it okay?”

“Yes”, Carmilla nodded, placing her own hand over Laura’s gently rubbing her thumb back and forth. “I’m okay. Let’s eat something ridiculously sweet and go on a sugar high together!” She suggested.

Laura only grinned widely and leaned in for a sweet kiss, which Carmilla could only feel herself melting into. Carmilla frowned and whined when Laura pulled back, but when Laura smiled and quickly pecked the corner of her mouth before sitting back and intertwining their hands, Carmilla was unable to stop a smile from spreading across her own face.

John had been watching the encounter carefully from a bit further behind the two girls in the restaurant, and he chose this moment to return to the table.

“So! Any ideas what desserts we want?” He asked eagerly.

“Well I’m pretty sure this one,” Carmilla smirked at Laura, “would just about die if she didn’t get the cookies, and I myself wouldn’t mind some ice cream if I’m being honest.”

“Cookies and ice cream,” John confirmed, “excellent choices, ladies, lets see what we can make happen.”

\----------------------------------------------

The rest of the dinner had been wonderful with minimal stress and anxiety, with only one exception when John asked Carmilla about her parents and her family. Carmilla froze up for only a second before politely responding to John's questions with half truth answers, before Laura caught on to Carmilla's discomfort and changed the topic. Apart from that almost incident, Carmilla was feeling good. She was beginning to get to know John and more about Laura's life before they met, and she was having a good time. John seemed like a stand up guy, and she was glad Laura had him by her side.

When they exited the restaurant, Laura was feeling over the moon. This dinner had gone above and beyond any and all expectations. Carmilla had been nothing but perfect, and her dad had just been his old silly self, a fool she loved to the moon and back. A couple of awkward childhood stories had been told, but that was expected. Besides, Laura was convinced that there were worse things that could have happened than Carmilla hearing about how she used to have daily tea-parties with all her stuffed animals, and she would get uncontrollably upset if for some reason she couldn't have these parties. Or how she used to start every morning singing the same song as she came down the stairs to greet her father, Space Oddity by David Bowie. In her defence though, John had been playing her that song since she was an infant, she found it weirdly comforting, and she loved how her father would always inevitably be joining in -- no matter how bad his day was. She smiled to herself every time she thought about it. The night had without a doubt been an absolutely wonderful success.

When they were saying their goodbyes outside, Carmilla got a call. She saw it was Will calling, so she excused herself for a second to answer it.

"I really like her," John said once Carmilla was a few steps away, smiling widely at her daughter, "I think she's a good one."

"I really like her too, dad," Laura said shyly, "she's great." John nodded along, and Laura continued, "the way you talk about mom and how she used to be, how you felt… How you felt bubbly and excited and just everything at once whenever you saw her, how you saw fireworks when you kissed her, or how you could just look at her and know. I think that might be how I feel, I think I love her."

Embracing his daughter, John placed a kiss in her hair, "she takes care of you, yes? She treats you well?"

Laura nodded into his chest before lifting her head slightly, "she holds doors and pulls out chairs for me, dad, she knows what I want before I know I want it… She's everything."

A tear rolled down John's cheek, and Laura smiled as she wiped it away.

"I'm just really happy," he said, letting out a short laugh, "I'm really happy you're so happy. It seems I couldn't ask for anything more than Carmilla for you, I'm happy you have both found each other."

Just then, Carmilla came back, looking at the two of them in question.

"Everything okay?" She asked hesitantly.

John stepped forward and hugged her again then, and to everyone's surprise, Carmilla awkwardly hugged him back.

"Take care of her," he whispered to her as he pulled back.

"Always."

Laura hugged her dad goodbye one last time after that, wishing him well and promising they would come to visit him soon. They watched John climb into his car and drive away, still waving long after his car was out of sight.

Laura sighed and turned to face Carmilla. She was smiling, but it didn't quite reach her eyes, so Carmilla leaning forward and placed a kiss on her forehead before pulling her into a tight hug.

"I know," she whispered, and Laura nodded into her shoulder, taking a few deep breath's before pulling back.

"Let's go home."

\----------------------------------------------

When they made it back to Laura and LaFontaine's apartment they found a note from LaFontaine telling them that they had gone with Perry to the movies and wouldn't be back till late. Laura only shrugged and made her way to the kitchen, prepping to make some hot chocolate.

Carmilla walked in after her, laughing when she realised what Laura was doing.

"Really? You need more sugar?"

Laura looked at her pointedly before rolling her eyes, "it's not about the sugar, Carmilla, it's about the comfort. There is nothing a good old cup of hot chocolate can fix." She walked over to a cupboard to grab her favourite TARDIS mug, only to suddenly remember that she broke that a few days ago. "Right," she mumbled to herself before grabbing a generic mug, sulking.

"Woah, where's your nerd mug?" Carmilla asked, never having seen Laura drink hot chocolate from any other vessel than that same exact mug.

Grimacing, Laura said, "you mean my TARDIS mug? I broke it."

Carmilla's eyes went wide and she made a mental note to replace it ASAP, this sad face she was currently looking at simply wouldn't do much longer. Speaking of mental notes, Carmilla remembered what she had wanted to ask earlier.

"I meant to ask earlier, but I never got to it."

Laura just gestured for her to continue, busy with her hot chocolate in the making.

"Right, so your dad kept calling you Nicks?" Carmilla questioned.

"Oh my God, that's right, I never told you!" Laura broke out, laughing to herself. "When I was little I had some trouble with nightmares, and the only way I would go back to sleep was if dad sang Fleetwood Mac until I was actually asleep again."

Carmilla was beyond confused. She had heard of Fleetwood Mac, she had even occasionally listened to a couple of their songs, but she really didn't understand where Nicks came from.

Laura laughed again, "Stevie Nicks?" She said, pointing it out like it was the most obvious thing ever. Carmilla, however, was even more confused.

Sighing, Laura explained, "the singer, Carm. Stephanie Nicks?"

Carmilla made an ahh sound before laughing too, "yeah that makes more sense."

Laura grabbed her now filled up generic mug with hot chocolate and made her way to the couch. She sat her mug down on the table and flopped down on the couch, grabbing the superman comic that was splayed out on the table.

A few minutes later, Carmilla had her own mug filled with tea. She pushed lightly on Laura's legs that were stretched out on the couch, and Laura simply lifted them so Carmilla could sit down before lowering them stretched out on Carmilla's lap. While Laura kept reading, Carmilla was good to just sit there and sip her tea.

It was only when Carmilla finished her tea that she spoke up.

"Have you ever noticed how Clark Kent looks a little bit like Superman?"

Laura lowered the comic just enough that Carmilla could see her frowning over it, "don't be ridiculous. Superman doesn't even wear glasses."

"I'm telling you, they are for sure the same dude. Clark just takes them off when he transforms!" Carmilla eagerly explained.

"What?" Laura snorted in disbelief, "that doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see -- let alone shoot lasers from his eyes!"

Carmilla thought for a moment before she seriously asked, "you're joking, right?"

Laura rolled her eyes and set the comic back down, "yes, Carmilla, I'm joking."

"Idiot."

Laura stood up and offered a hand to Carmilla who took it. Wrapping her arms around Carmilla, Laura smiled, "but I'm your idiot."

"Yes," Carmilla agreed, "and I wouldn't change that for the world," she added, placing a kiss to the tip of Laura's nose.

"It's late," Laura pointed out, "bed?"

Carmilla grinned and nodded, "sure," kissing Laura deeply.

Laura felt her mind go blank, similar to the other times Carmilla kissed her like this. She kissed her back with all her might, wanting to convey just how much she meant to her. Laura tried leading Carmilla towards the bedroom without breaking their kiss, but when she nearly tripped over a pair of shoes they both broke the kiss laughing at her clumsiness, deciding that getting there in one piece was better.

\----------------------------------------------

Having eventually made it to the bedroom, they were laid in bed sharing soft kisses and touches when Laura couldn't contain her excitement anymore over how well the dinner had gone.

"Dinner today went better than I ever thought," she started, "I mean you were so great, and it was great seeing dad, and it seemed like you two got along really well and that just means so much to me."

Carmilla smiled, "it went above all expectations. I had fun."

"Thank you for coming with me," Laura said, giving Carmilla a quick kiss.

"Of course."

Silence fell between the two of them, Laura snuggled up to Carmilla in her arms and breathed in deeply.

A few minutes passes before Carmilla carefully said,

"When my dad died, the day before the funeral my mother said 'get some rest, dear, tomorrow is going to be a big day.' To which I simply responded that it was actually going to be a very small day because my father wouldn't be in it. I used to think that every day from then would just be smaller and smaller. Everything would be smaller. The town we lived in, our house, even me. And for a good while I think that was true. But then you came along, and I have been having this feeling lately that every day from now on will just get bigger and bigger. I think in a way maybe you saved me."

Laura smiled to herself, "I was telling dad earlier, how I felt about you. How you make me feel all bubbly inside, and excited, and how most of the time I just feel everything at once when I see you, when I'm near you. When you kiss me I see fireworks, and when I look at you I realise that no matter how little I know about the rest of the world and life, I am more sure about this than anything else. And I am sure than no matter how bad everything else is, you are good."

Carmilla placed a kiss on top of Laura's head, "this is very cheesy, isn't it?"

Laura laughed, "very," she said, "but it's all true."

"You light up my world," Carmilla said, smiling to no one in particular as she did.

"I love you," Laura responded with a yawn.

Carmilla laughed and turned off the lights, "sleep tight, Laura."

\----------------------------------------------

Carmilla wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she was still lying wide awake a while later, not necessarily thinking about much, she was just content and happy. She looked at Laura's sleeping form, thinking about everything that could be, everything that hopefully would be. One thought made its way to the front of all her other thoughts, and she tightened her hold on Laura slightly, placing a kiss to the back of her neck before whispering,

"I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together."


	9. Should We Maybe See a Doctor?

Laura stretched her legs and rolled over expecting to roll right into Carmilla, but instead finding the bed empty. She patted down the side Carmilla was supposed to lie on confirming that Carmilla was, in fact, missing. She opened her eyes and frowned, turning her head to look at the clock on her night stand, seeing it was 11:30. _11:30,_ she thought, _that’s definitely too early for Carmilla to be anywhere other than still in bed._ Laura thought about it for another moment, trying to figure out where she could have gone, before giving up, _it’s too early for this_.

“Carmilla?!” She yelled out, thinking she might just be somewhere else in the apartment. She got no response from Carmilla, and she didn’t hear any rummaging anywhere, so it was pretty safe to say Carmilla was probably elsewhere. Maybe she had just gone out to get some air.

While Carmilla was nowhere currently known, LaFontaine popped their head through the door to Laura’s room.

“Everything okay? Did you need something?”

Laura sighed and pushed herself up on her elbows to look at them when she answered, “no, I’m good.”

“Are you sure?” LaFontaine asked, not entirely convinced.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. I just can’t find Carmilla.”

LaFontaine smiled to themselves, knowing exactly where Carmilla was after having ran into her earlier that morning.

“She’ll be back,” they started, “trust me.”

Laura nodded to herself, “of course you would know, you know everything.”

LaFontaine laughed, “all I’m saying, is that you might want to just stay in bed until she comes back.” They backed out of Laura’s room again, humming some melody or another.

Laura let herself fall back onto the bed where a small smile appeared on her lips. Based on the information she had just received from LaFontaine, she had a feeling Carmilla might be up to something. At the very least, she was feeling more at ease now that she knew that at least someone knew where Carmilla was, and with that she let herself drift off to a light sleep again.

\----------------------------------------------

On the other side of town, Carmilla was moving a couple of bags from her left hand to her right, quickly glancing at her watch. _11:40,_ she noted, _she’s bound to be up by now. Possibly also looking for me…_

“Shit,” she mumbled to herself as she hurriedly made her way back to Laura’s apartment.

Carmilla had left around 10:00 that same morning, assuming what she was looking for wouldn’t be a problem to find. As it turns out though, there aren’t as many comic book shops in town as she assumed there were based on the contents of Laura and LaFontaine’s decoration choices. Come to think of it, she probably could have, _no_ , definitely should have left a note somewhere for Laura. On the other hand, she did speak with LaFontaine before she left, so it should all be alright. _Right?_

\----------------------------------------------

“Laura?” Carmilla whispered as she entered Laura’s room again, having made it back from her little morning excursion.

Laura stirred awake, only humming in response to avoid fully waking up, she was way too comfortable.

Carmilla smiled as she made her way to the bed, placing the tray she was holding down onto the nightstand before she crawled into bed next to Laura. She scooted closer to her until her front was flush with Laura’s back, draping an arm over Laura’s waist before hugging her and placing a light kiss to the back of her neck.

Laura blinked her eyes open, smiling hazily in response while mumbling, “you were gone.”

“I know,” Carmilla nodded, “I should have left a note. I’m sorry, I just needed to run out and fix something.”

Laura turned around in Carmilla’s arms and looked at her with furrowed brows, “fix what?”

Carmilla grinned and pecked Laura’s lips before letting her go and sitting up. She lifted the tray she had brought in before and sat it on her lap. Curiosity got the better of Laura then, and when only lifting her head slightly didn’t make it easier to see what was on Carmilla’s mystery tray she slowly sat up next to her.

Eyes wide, Laura pointed, “is that-“

“Your crazy weird nerd mug thing?” Carmilla interrupted before nodding and grinning proudly, “it sure is.”

Alongside the newly purchased TARDIS mug filled with hot chocolate on the tray were different kinds of breakfast foods and drinks, and the days newspaper opened on the crossword section that Carmilla may or may not have gotten a head start on when she was walking back. Also, after briefly talking with LaFontaine before leaving and learning that Laura did not yet have the superman issue following the one she was reading the night before, Carmilla thought she might as well look for it in the same comic book shop where she found Laura’s mug. As if just her luck, she found the missing superman issue so she went ahead and grabbed that too.

Carmilla handed Laura the mug who took a few sips as soon as she got it, humming in appreciation, while going through all her stops. “I also found some breakfast, some informative, but extremely dry and boring, reading material with fun bonus activities for me, and of course,” she pulled out the superman comic, “the latest adventures of Metropolis’ favourite hero for my personal faviorite hero.”

Laura was stunned. Despite her usual involuntary and constant flow of words no matter the situation, she found herself utterly speechless. Looking at Carmilla she could see the pride radiating of her, and all Laura could think to do was set her mug down before removing the tray off Carmilla’s lap and over to the night stand, climbing onto her lap and kissing her senseless.

Carmilla, being anything but prepared for Lara’s reaction, found that for a moment Laura seemed to have literally taken her breath away. Unable to breathe, Carmilla was forced to break the kiss despite everything inside her telling her that dying was just as good of an alternative to breathing.

Fearing she might have come on a bit too strong, Laura searched Carmilla’s face for any and all signs.

“Is everything okay?”

Carmilla couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips, she was so beyond OK.

“Yes,” she nodded, “great even."

Carmilla smiled before she slowly leaned back in, attaching her lips to Laura’s again. Laura sighed into it and weaved her hands into Carmilla's hair, receiving a low moan in response. While Laura trailed her kissed away from Carmilla's mouth and down her neck, finding her sweet spot just between where her shoulder and neck connected, Carmilla let her head fall backwards to give her more access. Placing her hands on Laura's hips she let out an involuntary gasp, holding on to Laura just a little bit tighter while pulling her just a little bit closer.

A short moment later, Laura felt Carmilla's fingertips trail over the warm skin of her lower back and before she really thought about it, she reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head like it was nothing.

Even if she tried, there was no way for Carmilla to stop her jaw from dropping when Laura quickly pulled her shirt over her head. She didn't want to stare, but she also didn't know how to stop. After a minute had passed, she visibly shook her head as her cheeks turned a light shade of pink before she leaned in and pressed a slow, very deliberate, kiss to Laura's lips.

"You're beautiful," she admitted, smiling.

Laura smiled shyly before lowering her head, suddenly feeling a little bit self conscious. It lasted only a very short moment though, before Carmilla kissed her again and all her worries just seemed to disappear. Carmilla slid further down on the bed to lie on her back with Laura hoovering over her and peppering her neck with kisses, finding that one spot where she really took her time, sucking and nipping lightly before soothing the mark over with her tongue. Lifting her head for a moment, Laura barely registered Carmilla's smirk before she was rolled around as Carmilla switched their positions, letting out a short yelp in the process.

The sweet sound of Laura's laughter filled the room and Carmilla could only look at her in admiration.

"What?" Laura asked, winding her arms around Carmilla's neck.

Carmilla shook her head, "absolutely nothing."

Laura brought Carmilla's face closer to hers so she could keep kissing her, slowly dragging her hands down Carmilla's back before she carefully lifted the bottom hem and placed her hands on Carmilla’s lower back. She traced small patterns there, not intentionally trying to hint at anything or to push Carmilla to do anything, but that is exactly what she was worried she might have done when Carmilla broke their kiss rather abruptly, backing up and putting a little bit of distance between the two of them.

Pushing herself up on her elbows, Laura immediately started to explain, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by that. I just- I mean I didn't- Please don't think…"

While Laura stumbled over her words in trying to explain herself, Carmilla completely zoned out. Her mind was working like never before, trying to find a way to be OK -- a way to make this all okay. On the one hand, she was certain she loved Laura and she didn't want to hide anything from her, she didn't want to hide any part of herself no matter how bad. On the other hand, while Carmilla had talked about her mother and her childhood, and Laura was aware of how Mrs Karnstein was not the most pleasant human in the universe, Carmilla had a tendency to talk about all these things very superficially. She didn't want to worry Laura with things that used to be all those years ago. Now, however, she could either stop what was going on, which she really did not want to do, or she could let Laura see all her scars. On second thought, she supposed the potential surprise of the latter could also potentially stop what was going on, so perhaps there was no way to win right now.

"Carmilla?" Laura asked when Carmilla seemed to have completely disappeared to somewhere far away.

When she didn't get a response, she sat up and waved a hand in front of Carmilla's face. It was when that didn't seem to faze her that Laura started to really worry. She really hadn't meant for this to happen, and she really wished she hadn't done whatever it was that made this happen.

She took a hold of Carmilla's shoulders, trying to gently shake her, "Carmilla?"

That seemed to do the trick when Carmilla visibly re-entered the same world as Laura.

"Carmilla, I'm sorry," Laura said, relieved to at least have Carmilla's attention again.

"What?" Carmilla furrowed her brows, "no, don't be sorry, this isn't your fault."

"Uhh," Laura started insecurely, "I'm sorry, I don't think I really understand anything. Will you tell me what you were thinking about?" When Carmilla's eyes immediately went wide, Laura panicked a little bit internally and reflexively did what she usually does best, talk.

"Of course you don't have to! That was rude, I shouldn't have asked. I just don't know if I understand, I thought I did something wrong… And if I didn't then I'm not sure I follow. But of course you don't have to explain, I understand. I mean I don't of course, but I do. If that makes sense…" Carmilla just continued to look at her with a now half amused smile, "please say something."

"Sorry," Carmilla finally said, "I just need a second."

Laura nodded and said, "okay," although she wasn't entirely sure where she should go from there. Wanting to give Carmilla the space she seemed to need, she placed Carmilla's face in her hands for a moment, leaning forward to place a kiss to her forehead before picking up her previously discarded t-shirt. She pulled it over her head before getting up and making her way to her bathroom, ready to take a shower.

When Laura closed the bathroom door, Carmilla sighed. She knew she had to deal with this at some point, but at that very moment it all just seemed like a little bit too much. That is why, instead of dealing with it in that very moment, Carmilla simply laid back down, she got comfortable, and she closed her eyes desperately wishing for sleep to take her into an unconscious state if only to escape reality and all pressing matters for a few minutes.

When she exited her bathroom some minutes later, she saw Carmilla had lied back down and fallen asleep. She smiled and shook her head, thinking only Carmilla could fall asleep in the time it took Laura to shower.

After getting dressed and ready for the day, she walked over to the bed again, kneeling down in front of Carmilla's face.

"Hey," she tried, running a hand through Carmilla's hair.

Carmilla smiled and opened her eyes, "hey."

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Carmilla simply said before changing the topic, not wanting to get stuck again, "you're all dressed now."

Laura laughed, "I am. I thought maybe we could get out of the apartment for a bit, I need some fresh air."

Carmilla stretched fully before nodding and sitting up, "alright, alright," she tried to rub the sleep from her eyes, "we'll go outside."

When Laura moved to let Carmilla get ready, she remember everything Carmilla had sorted out for them this morning.

"Oh my god, I completely forgot you fixed us breakfast!"

Carmilla laughed, "that's probably for the best. I made some of those things and they are very likely not even edible. We can get something new when we leave."

"That's kind of wasteful."

"Yeah?" Carmilla asked, smirking slightly, "you should have thought about that before you practically attacked me back there."

Laura held her hands up in surrender, "okay, that's fair… So let’s get ready! Or are you already ready? I mean you have technically already been out today…"

Carmilla stood up and stretched one last time, "yep, I'm good, let's go."

\----------------------------------------------

After their walk around town, stopping for something to eat at the diner, they had met up with Perry and LaFontaine to see a movie LaFontaine was raving about. Naturally Carmilla had spend a majority of the time they were at the movies complaining about the situation and sighing excessively, but it was mostly an act. She knew Laura was happy and that was why she was doing it, so the complaining was more because she was worried people would start to consider her a softie, something she simply could not let happen. After the movie, Laura and Carmilla had headed over to Carmilla's apartment as per LaFontaine's request.

Eventually it got late enough that Laura was falling asleep on the couch, so Carmilla nudged her awake before leading her to the bedroom. Laura pushed her jeans off and immediately collapsed on the bed, while Carmilla walked over to her closet to grab an oversized and comfortable t-shirt to sleep in. Any other day she would have stepped aside into the bathroom to get changed, but noting how Laura practically passed out when she made it to the bed, Carmilla decided to hell with it. She was tired and really just wanted to hold Laura until she fell asleep, so she pulled the sweater she had been wearing over her head, and just before she managed to pull the new t-shirt over her head she her a gasp. She turned around quicker than she ever thought she had before, her eyes going wide when she saw Laura was sat up looking at her with a slack jaw.

Laura hadn't meant to look, not really, but when Carmilla didn't immediately fall into the bed next to her, she wanted to know what she was up to. Little did she know she would find Carmilla in the middle of changing, standing with her bare back to her. She saw the scars that wrapped around Carmilla starting just over her left shoulder, crossing her back and following her frame to her waist. She saw the sharp horizontal red lines, and as it dawned on her just how the marks got there she was completely paralysed and unable to hold back the gasp that escaped her lips.

"Uhm," Carmilla said dumbly, quickly pulling the t-shirt over her head and down to cover her torso. "Sorry about that, I uhh," she cleared her throat, "well I thought you were more or less passed out over there."

Laura shook her head, "no, I was waiting for you."

Carmilla nodded but she didn't move. A near deafening silence fell over the room as neither of them really know what to do. Carmilla hadn't had time to prepare anything to say which was mainly what was bothering her right now because when she didn't know what to say she didn't know how to deflate the situation and break the silence. Laura, on the other hand, wanted to say too much. Her mind was working at the speed of light, and she wanted to ask questions and say the right things, but the more time she allowed herself to think about it, the more wrong everything she could think of was -- and she certainly didn't think it would be a good time to ask questions about things when Carmilla looked as uncomfortable as she did. Most of all, she concluded that all she really wanted to do was walk over to Carmilla and just hug her.

"It's okay you know," Carmilla finally broke the silence, "if you have questions or anything."

Laura hesitated, "I want to know- I mean, I want to ask you things. I just- I didn't think- I-" she took a deep breath, "I want to know. But I'm not sure that you want that. And it's okay if-"

"No," Carmilla interrupted, finally making her way over to the bed again and taking a seat, "no, ask me things. Please."

"Those scars," Laura wasted no time, and by the small smile that graced Carmilla's face when she didn't, she knew Carmilla knew, "are those from your mom?"

Carmilla nodded and turned her back to Laura, lifting up her shirt so her gesturing would make sense.

"This one," she pointed to the largest of the scars going nearly all the way across her back, "I got when I was 12. I hadn't picked Will up after school and when I got home without him there was a whole speech about responsibility of course, but the banger didn't happen until after I had gone back for Will to find he wasn't there anymore." She let out a small laugh, "it's funny, because Will had just walked home. He was safe. But it wasn't enough, it was never enough."

She talked for a bit about other instances before letting her shirt drop back down, turning back to face Laura.

"I kind of wish I knew you then," Laura said, "so you at least wouldn't have to go through it alone."

"We wouldn't have been friends. I didn't really have friends. I was, believe it or not, more standoffish, rude, and just straight up dismissive than I am today." She said that last bit sounding a little bit proud of herself.

"Wow. People must have hated you."

Carmilla laughed, "they really did! And I hated them back just as much." On second thought, "actually, it might have been me hating them first so that it wouldn't be so bad when they hated me. Better the devil you know that the devil you don't, right?"

"Well," Laura started, laying down on her back, placing her head in Carmilla's lap, "you've got me now. And I'm not going away."

When Carmilla smiled down at her, Laura brought Carmilla's face down to meet her for a sweet kiss.

"And you know, if all of what just happened is what you were worried about this morning, there really was no need for it. Carmilla, you're beautiful. All of you." Carmilla blushed, "I mean it, you know?"

Nodding, Carmilla smiled, "I love you."

"I know," Laura simply said before getting comfortable and closing her eyes.

Carmilla combed her fingers through Laura's hair for a while longer before she, too, laid back down trying to sleep.

\----------------------------------------------

"Laura," Carmilla whispered, shaking Laura's shoulders lightly, "Laura, wake up!"

Laura groaned and opened an eye to look at the time, _3:14_ , "no," she whined, "sleep."

"No, Laura come on wake up!"

Laura whined and turned around so she was facing Carmilla, however she still refused to open her eyes, "shh, we sleep now."

"Oh for heaven's sake," Carmilla sighed, "LAURA!"

That seemed to do the trick when Laura shot up into an upright position, eyes wide, hands desperately searching for something, anything to orient her. It was Carmilla who took a hold of her hands in the end, stopping them from flailing around her. Laura blinked a couple of times to adjust to the darkness of the room, and it was only then that she saw how Carmilla's eyes brimmed with tears.

"Oh my God," she immediately took a hold of Carmilla's face, inspecting every inch of it to find out what was wrong, "are you okay? What happened?" She embraced her in lack of conclusive results after having inspected her face.

Carmilla just shook her head violently, "I don't know, I thought it was cramps but its not, it can't be, it's been bad but never this bad, I feel like I can't breathe!"

Laura furrowed her brows, "what do you mean?" She pulled back from the embrace, cupping Carmilla's face in her hands before wiping the fallen tears from her cheeks.

"I don't know what I mean!" Carmilla all but yelled, frustrated that she really didn't know what was going on. All she did know was that her abdomen was causing her some serious pain and there was no chance it was just cramps. "It hurts so bad," she doubled over herself, desperately clutching her stomach in an attempt to make the pain stop.

"What hurts? Where?" Laura asked in confusion, "show me."

"My abdomen," was eventually stuttered out, "FUCK!"

"Okay, uhm, it's okay." Laura kept a hand on Carmilla's back, rubbing what she thought would be soothing circles. She tried to be comforting and present, but if she was being honest, she was kind of freaking out a little bit.

"Oh my god," Carmilla was practically sobbing at this point, which, to say the least, was highly unusual.

"Should we maybe see a doctor?"

"Well that is why I woke you up in the first place. I would have just left alone and let you sleep peacefully but standing up is a lot right now so I need you. I'm sorry."

"What, don't be silly, of course I'm coming with you! Shame on you for planning to just leave me behind here to wake up without you and worry even more than I'm worrying now." Laura was already up and running around trying to get things in order so they could get going to the ER.

The words, "son of a whore!" could probably be heard from a few floors below as they left Carmilla's mouth when Laura was trying to help her stand up.

The swearing only got worse when she started to walk, and she positively woke up her entire building when the pair made their way down and out of the building, and into the taxi Laura had called in all her frantic running around.

\----------------------------------------------

"Well," doctor Murphy started, "we're going to have to remove your appendix."

After they had made it to the ER they talked to a nurse who couldn't do anything other that tell them to wait. They were asked to fill out what seemed like an excessive amount of paper work while waiting for a doctor to come along and take care of Carmilla. Needless to say that filling out that paperwork was a real pain for both of them when Carmilla could barely get out complete sentences, and when she did 90% of the words to leave her mouth were swears. In addition to that, Laura was focusing more on Carmilla and the constant pained look on her face, worrying excessively and having no idea what she should do to make it better.

When the doctor finally came along, he introduced himself as doctor Murphy and he almost immediately began poking and prodding, ordering tests and explaining the situation with an excessive use of medical terminology that Laura didn't understand half of. No matter the situation, Laura went wherever Carmilla went, holding her hand, letting Carmilla squeeze it as hard as she wanted. After nearly an hour Laura and Carmilla were sat on the bed in a room they had been placed in when doctor Murphy returned with the conclusion that Carmilla had appendicitis. This meant that she would have to undergo a short, standard procedure to have her appendix removed.

"An appendectomy. It's a very common procedure with minimal risks and complications are rare. It should take no more than an hour to perform A room is being set up right now, so we should be ready to get going within the hour. In the meantime, get comfortable in here."

Doctor Murphy left the two of them alone, and only then did Carmilla physically break down. She all but threw herself into Laura's arms, holding on to her for dear life, practically soaking her shirt with her tears. All the time doctor Murphy had been around she had braved on, trying to put on a neutral face and ignoring her pain, however now that he was gone she was tired and it really fucking hurt. Laura only hugged Carmilla tighter, guiding her to lie down with her and stroking her hair and telling her what she could only hope were comforting words.

They laid together like that for a while, Carmilla quietly shaking in Laura's arms, until doctor Murphy re-entered the room, declaring that they were set to go for the operation.

Laura and Carmilla both sat up, tears rolling down Carmilla's cheeks as she did so. Laura reached a hand up to wipe away the fallen tears before placing a quick kiss on Carmilla's cheek.

"It's okay, you'll be okay. I'll be right here when you come back."

Carmilla nodded, and Laura got up when doctor Murphy was about to order a nurse in to pry her away from Carmilla. She followed them out when they rolled Carmilla down the hall, but at some point she was stopped and denied further access. Sighing, she turned back. She headed for the cafeteria desperately needing some coffee if she was going to stay up any longer. She had felt wide awake in the middle of everything with Carmilla, but the moment Carmilla was out of reach she realised just how tired she was. Regardless, there was no way she was not going to be awake when Carmilla came out of surgery, so she got herself a cup of coffee and one of those books that you sometimes find in grocery stores that was part of a seemingly endless series, before going back to Carmilla's room, preparing herself for what she suspected would be a never ending night.

\----------------------------------------------

Exactly 47 minutes after they wheeled Carmilla out, they were wheeling her back into the room where Laura was sat reading, finding herself to be surprisingly invested in the book she just got. Doctor Murphy explained how the procedure had gone and how everything went very well, while also telling Laura the likelihood of Carmilla waking up any time soon was minimal. He advised her to get some sleep seeing how it was nearly morning already, before leaving the room.

Laura Pulled her chair up closer to Carmilla's bed, taking a hold of her hand.

"Thank God you're okay," she started before correcting herself, "I mean I know you don't believe in God, but whatever is out there let's just call him/her/them/it God for right now." She sighed as she looked down at Carmilla's sleeping form, "you worry me, you know? You might not know, but you do." She gently tucked a few stray strands of hair behind Carmilla's ear before she laid her head down on the edge of the bed, feeling the lack of sleep catching up to her.

"Goodnight, Carmilla," she mumbled, still having a firm grip on Carmilla’s hand, before closing her eyes, "I love you."


	10. This is How I Picture Us

When Carmilla was waking up the following morning she groaned and reached for her abdomen, immediately regretting it when she pushed down. _So that was not a dream,_ she thought, _great._ She tried to open her eyes, but she was immediately blinded by all the lights, so she brought a hand up to shade her eyes from the rest of the world for another moment. When she was able to see properly she looked around her room, taking in the clean white walls and the generic décor.

_Well, that's depressing._

She closed her eyes again and rubbed at her temples, desperately trying to rid herself of a pounding headache. She stretched out an arm, reaching for water and finding nothing. Feeling Laura stir she looked down to find her sitting in a chair next to the bed, perched over on her crossed arms that were resting on Carmilla's bedside. Thinking that there was no way that was actually comfortable, she reached down and placed a hand on Laura's cheek, smiling when her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey," Laura said groggily as she sat up, still trying to rub the sleep from her eyes, "you're up."

Carmilla nodded, "I am."

"How are you feeling?" Laura asked as she stood up and stretched.

"Honestly? Like absolute shit. Tired… A little bit queasy… A lot like I want to go home, can we leave?" She pouted.

Laura laughed and looked down at Carmilla's pouting face, running a hand through her hair, “I don't know exactly, but I kind of doubt you will get to leave today.”

As if on cue, doctor Murphy walked in just then, "Carmilla, good morning. How are we feeling today?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm fine," Carmilla simply answered, noting the frown Laura gave her, presumably caused by Carmilla's lack of honesty. Instead of correcting what she said, she looked away from Laura and down to her lap, feeling a little bit guilty.

"Well," he spoke while he was looking at Carmilla's file, "everything looks good, so just keep resting."

"So I can go home?" Carmilla asked him hopefully.

Laughing he answered, "no, you'll have to stay at least overnight."

“Technically,” Carmilla started to correct him, “I already have stayed overnight.”

Doctor Murphy sighed, “well another night then. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to continue my rounds.”

When doctor Murphy was out of the room again, Carmilla sighed.

"Oh come on," Laura said, "cheer up! This isn't the worst thing that could have happened, it's just one day and you should take it easy all things considered."

"I hate hospitals," Carmilla mumbled to herself before a little louder asking, "is there any water around?"

Laura picked up a water bottle she had sat on the floor next to her chair and handed it to Carmilla. She took a sip before setting it down on the bedside table. She then tried to pushed herself up on her elbows, but she only groaned and flopped back down.

"Here," Laura said, walking back over to Carmilla's side, "let me help you."

Carmilla only looked at her then, feeling small and pathetic and helpless. She hated this, she hated being like this, being there, it brought back too many memories from before. Memories of times she had desperately tried to repress and forget. She shook her head and dismissed Laura.

"It's fine. I should probably try get some sleep anyway."

Carmilla turned to lie on her side with her back against Laura, leaving a confused Laura standing with her hands stretched out in offering to help. _What just happened?_ She thought to herself as she sunk back down to her chair. Laura hadn't meant anything by what she did, she just wanted to help, and she really didn't understand what had just happened and what she had done wrong. Shaking her head, she picked her book back up and tried to focus on reading.

Carmilla could feel a couple of tears pressing on, but she willed them away. She knew doing what she did had hurt Laura on some level, but how could she explain doing what she did when really she wasn't entirely sure herself. She really was tired though, and so instead of dwelling on it any more she closed her eyes and willed herself to fall asleep. Just like that, in a matter of minutes, she was far away in her sleep.

\----------------------------------------------

It was close to an hour later when Laura's concentration broke. Carmilla was mumbling in her sleep, and at first Laura didn't think anything of it, instead getting back to her book. However, not even a moment later Carmilla started twisting and turning, her facial expression something like that of someone writhing in pain. Just as soon as the thought crossed her mind, Laura was up on her feet, trying to wake Carmilla.

"Hey, Carm, wake up!" Carmilla didn't react, continuing to twist and turn, "Carmilla, come on." At this point Laura wanted to shake her awake, but that felt like an impossible task considering Carmilla's already constant movement. She kept trying for another minute, a tear rolling down her cheek. If she was being honest she was terrified, she didn't know what to do. She quickly considered calling for a nurse, but she realised that would not give good end results when Carmilla did wake up. Instead, she took a breath before practically yelling, "WAKE UP!"

Carmilla shot up into a sitting position, breathing heavily as a couple of tears escaped from the corner of her eyes. She brought her knees close to her chest and pressed the heels of her hands to her closed eyes, shaking her head.

Laura carefully reached out and placed a hand on Carmilla's knee to test the waters, and when Carmilla didn't flinch away or really react at all, Laura embraced her. She rubbed her hand up and down Carmilla's back, feeling her bury her face in the nook of her neck as she started sobbing.

"It's okay," Laura whispered before placing a kiss to the top of her head, "you're okay."

Laura whispered the same words over and over until Carmilla started to calm down. When she finally did, she felt Laura kiss the top of her head and she backed up a little bit. Laura wiped the fallen tears from Carmilla's face, keeping her head in her hands gently caressing her cheekbones.

Carmilla smiled at her sadly before shaking her head, "Laura, I'm so sorry."

"I know," Laura started, "it's okay."

Carmilla laid back down, gesturing for Laura to lay down with her. Laura was sceptical at first, but eventually she did lay down next to Carmilla, who buried her face in Laura's chest before breathing in deeply, feeling whatever pain had come with her sleep slowly fade away.

Laura hugged Carmilla to her, "it's okay."

Carmilla mumbled something then, but Laura had no idea what is was she was saying, everything was far too muffled.

She furrowed her eyebrows as she said, "I cannot hear a word you are saying right now."

Sighing, Carmilla moved her head the tiniest amount possible before saying, "I said I hate this place. It reminds me too much of way back when, and I hate it. I hate how it makes me feel, how it makes me act, how it looks, how it smells, I hate everything that this place is."

"How does it make you feel?" Laura tried.

Carmilla thought about that for a minute before answering, “it makes me feel small. Vulnerable. Like the helpless kid I used to be.”

_Helpless,_ Laura thought. She supposed that would explain the dismissive behaviour when Laura offered to help her _._ She placed a kiss on Carmilla's forehead, "well, do you know how it makes me feel?" When Carmilla shook her head Laura smiled, "grateful."

Carmilla moved her head back far enough to give Laura a questioning look, "grateful?"

Laura nodded, "yes. Because when you woke me up last night, the look on your face, the pain in your eyes… Carmilla, I was terrified. You are everything to me. Seeing you in pain like that, I didn't know what to do. This place has doctors, this place helped. This place took that pain away and I never could. I am grateful that you are here, that you are healthy and here. This place did that."

Carmilla thought about what Laura had just said, and if she was being honest, all of those things were things that she had never, would never, consider.

"Well, now you've made me feel bad for complaining a second ago…"

"It's okay," Laura smiled, taking Carmilla's face in her hands again, " I just want you to know that it's not always bad."

\----------------------------------------------

Carmilla was discharged from the hospital the following day, and she had gone back around a week later to have her stitches removed. It was a Friday afternoon a few weeks later, Carmilla had just finished her last class of the day. She was sat in the darkroom with her latest set of pictures, looking through them but not really feeling anything. Which was annoying, because usually she was at least happy with one of the 36 photos she had taken with one roll of film, but this time she really couldn't find it.

A moment passed and Carmilla's phone lit up showing a picture of Laura’s face.

“I thought you would be in class right about now?” Carmilla said when she answered the phone, wedging in between her ear and her elbow while continuing to study her photos.

“I was, but we finished early! Something about a meeting our professor had to attend, I don’t know…” she trailed off, “but! This means that I am free already, are you still here?”

“Yeah,” Carmilla answered, clearly distracted in her studying of one particular photo, trying desperately to get somewhere with it.

“Carmilla?”

“Huh?” Carmilla broke out of her train of thought, “sorry, what?”

Laura’s laugh chimed through the phone and Carmilla smiled to herself while Laura tried again, “so where are you?”

“The only place I would ever want to be.”

“Lies,” Laura immediately answered, “because you are not walking next to me right now, so where are you really?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, although she knew full and well that Laura was unable to see it through the phone. “Darkroom,” she simply said.

“So the second place you would only ever want to be,” Laura said in an amused tone before adding, “I’m on my way,” and hanging up.

Carmilla laughed to herself before setting her phone back down. She wheeled her swivel chair over to light switch, flicking it on before rolling back to the desk. Looking down at her photos in a normal lighting she didn't see them as any better than they were under the glow of the red safety light. She set her elbows on the table and placed her face in her hands, sighing.

"That bad, huh?" Laura asked when she walked in, placing a kiss to Carmilla's temple before taking a seat a few steps away and setting two coffee cups down in front of them.

"It's not great, no," Carmilla said, picking up her cup and taking a sip. She smiled when she set the cup back down, "thank you."

Laura rolled over so she was next to Carmilla, picking up a picture and taking a moment to look at it. The picture was of a boy, she guessed he must have been around 8 years old, who was walking across the monkey bars on a playground. Not crawling over them on his knees, no, he was standing up and walking over it.

"That's definitely not safe," Laura commented.

Carmilla laughed, "he was fine."

"Where was his parents in all this?"

"Oh, no. Owen is an orphan."

Laura grimaced, "shit."

"I'm joking. His dad was right there, ready to catch him. He was fine." Laura breathed out in relief, "this photo, on the other hand, is not good."

"What, come on, it's great."

"Really?” Carmilla arched an eyebrow, “what does it make you feel when you look at it?”  

Laura looked at the picture again, squinting her eyes a little bit. "Well, uhh, I mean it's a kid, so that's supposed to make me feel happy, right?"

"Nono," Carmilla started, "not what is it supposed to make you feel, what does it actually make you feel?"

"Oh," Laura thought about it, and it didn't really make her feel anything. She sighed, "nothing, really… But you know, that could just be because I'm not really all that into kids?"

Carmilla laughed again, "no, it's because the photo doesn't carry emotions."

"Oh…"

Carmilla turned to face Laura, "do you want to go on a trip this weekend? With me?"

Laura grinned, "always. Where are we going?"

Carmilla thought for a moment before smiling slyly, "somewhere quiet."

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"I am not," Carmilla confirmed while reloading her camera with a new roll of film, "but I can almost for sure promise you that you will like it, it's nice."

"Well okay then. How will we get to this magical place of nice and quiet?"

"I don't actually know," Carmilla admitted, "but I’m thinking my little brother can help us out."

\----------------------------------------------

A couple of hours later, Carmilla and Laura were standing outside Will's apartment complex a short walk from campus and Carmilla's own. She had rang for Will who was on his way down.

"Sister," he announced his presence as he walked out the front door.

Carmilla turned around to face him, "brother."

Will grinned and turned his attention to Laura, "hey, Laura, it's nice to see you again."

"Hi," Laura piped up from where she was awkwardly stood next to Carmilla.

"I swear to God," Will started, holding out the key's to his car, "if you in any way damage my baby I will murder you - jailtime be damned!"

Carmilla rolled her eyes and took the keys, "don't worry, your precious man toy will be back here on Sunday looking exactly the same as it does now."

"It better be."

“But really,” Carmilla said sincerely, “thank you for the loan.”

Will smiled and hugged his sister, "any time. You two have fun up there."

Carmilla only rolled her eyes before turning on her heel and walking towards the car.

"So, which car is it?" Laura asked curiously as she had no idea where Carmilla was leading her.

Instead of answering, Carmilla kept walking a few more steps before stopping in front of an old pick up truck.

"Laura," she started, "this is Betty. Will's precious baby."

Laura burst out laughing, "Betty? It has a name?" Carmilla nodded, "wow."

"I know," Carmilla nodded, "but it works. So let's hop in and get going!"

\----------------------------------------------

"So how far away is this mystery place you are taking me?" Laura asked after they had driven for a good 45 minutes.

"We still have around an hour to go, is that okay?"

Laura nodded, "of course."

Carmilla nodded, breaking out in a grin when Laura reached over and weaved her hand into Carmilla's hair. Carmilla reached for Laura's hand after a moment, intertwining them and placing a kiss to the back of Laura's.

Laura scooted across the one sofa seat that the truck had to sit closer to Carmilla, laying her head down on Carmilla's shoulder.

"Well, aren’t you sitting awfully close to me," Carmilla said, an amused smile on her face.

"I wanna be close to you," Laura answered very matter of factly.

"Oh? So this proximity is on purpose?"

Laura nodded, "absolutely. If we were on a completely empty bus I would still sit right next to you."

"But, there would be so many seats…" Carmilla whispered before the two of them started laughing. Carmilla let her right hand rest easily on Laura’s thigh, quickly dropping a kiss to her hair. She could definitely be okay with this.

\----------------------------------------------

"Laura," Carmilla whispered after she had parked the car in front of a house. Laura had fallen asleep shortly after she moved over to Carmilla, and now Carmilla really didn't want to wake her up. After all, she was plenty comfortable where she was, and Laura looked more than peaceful. She did briefly consider just falling asleep right then and there too, but she supposed it might mess with their backs somehow, which would not be beneficial if they were going to do anything at all the days they were here. There was also the fact that it was relatively early still, which might mess with their circadian rhythms.

Carmilla dropped a kiss into Laura's hair, feeling her stirring as she did so.

"Hey, we're here. Do you want to wake up some so we can get inside?"

Laura shook her head, not opting to move, and mumbled, "not really."

"Do I need to carry you?" Carmilla challenged.

When Laura nodded, Carmilla sighed. She tried her best to hold Laura's head in place while she got out of the car, but it's safe to say that Laura was pretty much wide awake by the time Carmilla was actually out of the car. She turned her back to Laura and crouched down just a little bit so that Laura could climb onto her back.

When a few seconds passed and nothing happened Carmilla sighed again, "well come on then, hop on."

Laura grinned and got on Carmilla's back, laughing when she stood up fully. She leaned forward and kissed Carmilla's cheek.

"Thank you."

Carmilla walked the two of them over to the door before realising she left their bag behind with the keys. She set Laura down and pecked her lips before running back to the car to pick up their things and the keys, unlocking the door only a moment later.

"This is it," she announced as she turned on the lights and dropped the bag just by the door, "welcome to the Karnstein's practically abandoned beach house."

Laura's eyes went wide, "beach house?" She ran to the glass doors across the room and looked out to find that there was, indeed, a beach just outside said doors. "Oh my God," she whispered. Turning back to face Carmilla, she very seriously looked at her and asked, "are you secretly rich?"

"No," Carmilla rolled her eyes while walking over to her, "no, I'm not." Laura pretended to let out a breath and nodded, " _I'm_ not rich per se, but I guess technically mother is slightly above average wealthy or something."

"Oh my God," Laura repeated, a little louder this time, "your mother is rich."

"Kind of," Carmilla corrected her, "I guess my father left a little bit of money to us when he died or something."

"A little bit? This looks like it was a lot more than a little."

"My point is that I'm not really rich, but I guess my family has a little bit of money."

"Right," Laura nodded, "so your family, the Karnstein's, which happens to include you, are kind of rich," she mused.

Carmilla sighed and nodded, "I'm rich, whatever. Should we get dinner?"

Laura smiled and nodded, satisfied with her winning that one, "yes, definitely." After thinking for a moment she added, "you're buying though."

\----------------------------------------------

Carmilla woke up the following morning to Laura trailing butterfly kisses from her neck to her cheeks to forehead. She tried her best to supress her smile, but when Laura got to the corner of her mouth she couldn't help it.

"Ah! I saw that!" Laura exclaimed.

Carmilla groaned but opened her eyes to find Laura hoovering over her.

"Good morning," Laura said when she leaned down and kissed Carmilla sweetly.

Carmilla mumbled something incomprehensible before bringing her arms around Laura's waist, hugging her to her.

"I'm hungry," Laura said where she was laid on top of Carmilla.

"Too early."

"It's 11:30, it's not early. Feed me."

Laughing, Carmilla simply said, "you're an adult, feed yourself."

Laura sighed, but she supposed Carmilla might have a point. She sighed one more time before trying to get up, however, Carmilla did not let up the hold she had on the girl.

"Nooo," She whined, "don't leave me."

"Five minutes," Laura suggested, "you get five more minutes and then food."

Carmilla smiled victoriously and closed her eyes again. She could work with five minutes.

\----------------------------------------------

They drove to the small town a couple of miles from the house to get breakfast, Carmilla stopping whenever she saw something that could make a good photo op. After a nice breakfast when they drove back to the house, Laura picked up Carmilla's camera and managed to snap a photo of her before Carmilla realised what was happening.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Laura shrugged, taking a picture out the window before turning the camera around making a funny face before taking a picture of herself.

"That's cute," Carmilla commented while Laura kept taking pictures of anything she could see.

Before she knew it, Laura had used up almost all the remaining exposures of the film to take pictures of nonsense in the time it took them to get back to the house. She grimaced slightly when she saw the counter was on 34.

"You brought more film, right?" She carefully asked Carmilla as they walked up to the house.

"Always."

Laura let out a breath, "oh thank God."

Carmilla looked at her for a moment, "you wasted all of them, didn't you?"

"What? Pfft, no. I did no such thing," Laura expressed before mumbling, "there are two left."

"Two? This morning I had 35 to work with."

"Hey, you took pictures when we were in town too, it's not all my fault," Laura added defensively.

Carmilla laughed and pressed a kiss to Laura's cheek, sliding open the door leading out to the deck and the beach, "don't worry about it, there’s always more film." She took a seat in one of the two deck chairs, looking out over the ocean.

Laura pushed the other chair closer to where Carmilla was sitting before taking a seat herself, reaching over for Carmilla's hand.

"This is how I picture us, you know," Laura started, “growing old together in our little wheelchairs holding hands… Looking out to something as beautiful as this view.”

Carmilla leaned her head back and looked over at Laura who was looking right back.

She smiled over at her, “count me in.”

Laura laughed and turned back to take in the view of the ocean, while Carmilla just kept looking at her for a while.

Eventually Carmilla broke the comfortable silence, “did you know that the only letter in the English language with three consecutive double letters is 'bookkeeper'?"

“What?” Laura laughed, "okay. The more you know I guess…” She trailed off, suddenly remembering and picked the camera up from her lap, handing it to Carmilla. “Oh, here. Do whatever with the last two shots.”

Carmilla took the camera from her before pointing it back at Laura and looking at her through the viewfinder. Laura smiled and Carmilla took the picture.

“Why don't you use digital camera's?” Laura suddenly asked, “like those memory card things with practically unlimited amounts of exposures? I mean the quality has to be better, right? And isn’t it just more practical?”

Carmilla lowered the camera to answer that, "I think that just because the images come out clearer that doesn't mean that the quality of the photo is better."

"But doesn't it though?"

"The story you tell is always more important than what you use to tell it."

Laura thought about this for a moment, "and what story are you currently working on telling?"

Carmilla raised the camera again and took a picture of Laura unprepared, smiling as she lowered the camera. “One that tells the whole world that I love you,” she leaned over and kissed her cheek.

Laura grinned and looked over at her, "hmm? What was that?"

Camilla rolled her eyes before leaning in and placing a sweet kiss on Laura’s lips, barely pulling back to say, “I love you.”


	11. The Documentary "Jurassic Park"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys. I cannot believe I left this for two months... Not going to make any excuses, I've just had to finish up exams and a dissertation and I've had to work because being an almost adult is expensive you guys. See what I did there? No, but in all seriousness, I am very sorry. My absence is inexcusable. BUT! A new chapter is here, and the next one is in the works. 
> 
> Also, this chapter has a couple of borrowed lines from a super lovely series. If you figure out which lines I'm talking about, and what show it's from, I'll give you a cookie. Literally. I'm creative (sometimes), regardless of where you are, a cookie will appear near your face. If you don't know, then I think it's safe to say that you are severely lacking in TV, and probably also film, knowledge. For the greater good, I suggest you educate yourself. If you need help, I'm here. Good luck!

Carmilla and Laura had gone back into the little town the following day when Laura had said she wanted to do some shopping before they left, and with the promise of ice cream Carmilla couldn't say anything but yes.

"Oh, what do you think of this one?" Laura asked excitedly, holding up a loose fitted navy-blue t-shirt for Carmilla to look at.

"Yeah, sure," Carmilla said, clearly uninterested.

"You're not even looking at it."

"That's great," Carmilla said as she started at her phone and whatever game she was currently playing.

"Okay, well now you're not even listening."

"I love that!"

Laura rolled her eyes, "I rest my case." She was about to tell Carmilla to snap out of it when she saw something in the children's section and thought maybe she could have some fun. Leading the two over to the section, she picked up a little t-shirt with a dinosaur on it, holding it up for Carmilla.

"Don't you just find it so cute that kids believe in dinosaurs?"

Immediately Carmilla's head snapped up, "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"Oh, I just saw this little thing and thought about how silly it is that kids believe in dinosaurs." Laura kept a completely straight face as she was telling Carmilla about these supposed magical creatures.

Carmilla narrowed her eyes at her, "what do you mean 'believe'?"

"You know," Laura tried, before leaning over closer to Carmilla and whispering, "how they think they're real and everything." She folded up the t-shirt and put it down again.

"So, okay, I'm sorry. You are telling me that you don't think that dinosaurs existed."

Laura laughed, "well I've never seen one, have you?"

"No, but I have seen their bones in the museum," Carmilla pointed out.

"Oh, please," Laura dismissed it, "just because some guy digs up something that looks like a bone and some scientist plugs it into a computer and calls it whatever, that doesn't make it true." She walked back over to where she was looking before starting all of this to continue her search for anything at all.

"Well, I've seen the documentary 'Jurassic Park' and it's kinda hard to argue with that."

Laura nodded along, picking up the same shirt she had shown Carmilla earlier, "anyway, how do you feel about this?"

"It's-" Carmilla stopped before she could finish, realising what had just happened, "oh, you're sneaky!" She said, closing the distance between herself and Laura, placing her hands on Laura's hips. Laura began to lean in to kiss Carmilla, however Carmilla ducked away, needing to get something out of the way first. "Oh, just to be clear. Dinosaurs existed."

When Laura only laughed and nodded, Carmilla smiled and closed the remaining distance, placing a short sweet kiss on Laura's lips.

"Oh, and I like it," Carmilla commented when she broke the kiss, "it's cute. Personally I would probably never wear navy, it feels a little bit like a rip off of black or something… But I mean, I can see the appeal. It's like Starbucks, it's what the world wants."

Laura hummed in agreement, "that sounds about right." She studied the piece of garment she was holding up for another moment before nodding, "I'm gonna get this."

Carmilla laughed, "great! Now, I have some vague memories of somebody mentioning ice cream?"

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After finding a place to have some ice cream, Carmilla and Laura began the two hour ride back to Will's place. Laura was the one to drive them back because when she offered Carmilla had no reason to say no, and in the end the drive was just as painless as it was on the way to the beach house.

"Ahh, my baby is back!" Will said as he walked over the pair who were currently getting the last of their things out of the car.

"Thanks for the loan, little brother."

"Nah, it's nothing. Any time you need it," Will tried to assure Carmilla, placing a hand on her shoulder and earning himself a bit of a stare but he just dismissed it. "I trust the house is still standing?"

Carmilla laughed then, "yeah, still standing. You should go up there with all your frat buddies and have a party, it would be the perfect venue and I don't really think mother is ever there. She never liked the beach."

"Huh, you might be right, you know."

"Of course I am."

"Oh shit,” Will suddenly exclaimed, “I forgot to get you a present!”

"Keep your voice down," Carmilla hissed back before looking over at Laura on the other side of the car, seemingly busy with her own things. "I never got around to telling her."

Will raised his brows, "what? Carmilla, that's ridiculous. What were you even thinking, that you would just never tell her and never age?"

"Obviously," Carmilla simply said.

"Carmilla," Will was shaking his head, "you can't do that to her. It's not too late, but in a little bit it will be. It's just your birthday-"

Laura's eyes went wide and hear head snapped up on the other side of the car. _Did he just say birthday?_ She thought, before shaking her head thinking _no, Carmilla would have told me_. Although she was shaking her head and thinking Carmilla would have told her, she made herself look busy while listening in a little bit more intently than she had been doing earlier despite everything inside of her that said she should have stopped eavesdropping before she even started.

It didn't take more than a couple of seconds before Laura was sure they were talking about Carmilla's birthday, and she was also sure that it had been some day that same weekend. As realisation dawned on her, she couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped her lips followed by a whispered, "shit," when she realised what she had missed.

"Laura?" Carmilla questioned when she heard what she whispered, "everything OK over there?"

"Yep," Laura jumped up and closed the door before rounding the car to stand by Carmilla's side, "everything is great."

Carmilla gave Laura a strange look before turning back to Will, "alrighty then! We should get going. See you later, Will."

"Thanks for letting us borrow the car," Laura managed to say, getting a smile and a nod in response from Will before Carmilla was practically dragging her away.

They walked over to Laura's apartment in relative silence, Laura’s mind was still preoccupied thinking about what had just happened. Learning that Carmilla's birthday had flied right under her radar made her feel sad and guilty both because why is that something that Carmilla wouldn't tell her, and why hadn't she thought to ask about it at any time before now?

Carmilla could feel that something was on Laura's mind, and it looked to be bothering her, so she tried to ask, "are you sure everything is okay?"

"Huh?" Laura zoned out from her head, "yeah, of course! Sorry, I think I'm just tired."

Carmilla nodded and smiled, but the feeling that something wrong was still there. She looked at Laura, who was completely lost in her own thoughts again. Carmilla was scared to push too much though, so instead she settled for the silence in the remaining minutes it took them to walk to Laura’s apartment.

"You're sure you don't want to just stay here?" Laura asked as they were stood outside her building.

"Yeah," Carmilla sighed, "we agreed to this, and you've got an early class tomorrow."

Laura nodded sadly, "I know." She wound her arms around Carmilla's neck, smiling shyly, "I was just hoping you would change your mind so it would be okay if I did too."

Carmilla laughed, "trust me, I would love to stay. But I would hate to be the reason you fail your classes, so this is probably for the best.” Laura sighed and nodded, “and I will see you tomorrow for lunch, right?”

“Yes,” Laura smiled, “and you’ll call me when you get home?”

“I will,” Carmilla confirmed before kissing Laura, “thank you for coming with me this weekend.”

Laura shook her head and smiled, "I would follow you anywhere,” she leaned her forehead against Carmilla’s.

“I love you.”

Laura kissed her deeply before pulling back smiling, “I love you too.”

\----------------------------------------------

Laura had slept what she was sure couldn’t possibly be more than a total of two hours. She groaned when she got up the following morning, having spent most of the hours of the night finding Carmilla what she considered to be the perfect present. She had found what she was looking for in a store that was about an hours trip out of town, so she had decided to skip her classes that morning after all, in favour of hunting down this present so that she could have it by the time she was meeting Carmilla for lunch.

She quickly got ready and left, headed for a coffee shop to get something that could hopefully wake her up some before getting the bus out to the store that had promised her what she was looking for.

\----------------------------------------------

It was a few hours later when Laura walked up to Carmilla sitting in the cafeteria on campus.

"Good morning," she said before bending down and kissing Carmilla's cheek and taking a seat across the table from her.

"Hey," Carmilla smiled, putting her book down and pushing a tray holding a couple of sandwiches, two cookies, and two coffees to the middle of the table. "I got us food because I just assumed you would be hungry and I know for a fact that I am."

Laura grinned and took a sip of her coffee, "your assumption was correct, I am starving. Thank you for this."

"Of course."

"Oh!" Laura said before rummaging around in her bag for a moment before pulling out a newspaper, "one freshly pressed newspaper, as per your request."

"Awesome," Carmilla grinned, taking the newspaper and grabbing a pen out of her own bag, not even glancing at the front page before finding the crossword section and getting right to it.

Laura looked at her fondly for a moment before furrowing her brows and asking, "do you ever actually read the newspaper?"

"What? No," Carmilla laughed and responded without looking up from what she was doing, "it’s way too depressing. Besides, no news is good news, right?"

"I really don't think that's what that means."

"But of course it is," Carmilla argued, "much like every other proverbial phrase ever written in the history of time, it is subject to a wide variety of interpretations."

"I mean I guess," Laura stuttered, "but I still think that your interpretation is taking it a bit too far, no? I mean whoever coined the term cannot possibly have thrown out a newspaper and then said 'fork this. No news is good news' and then gone on about his day."

Carmilla couldn't help the smile that spread across her face when Laura imitated what she assumed was meant to sound like an old man's voice in reciting the old saying. She really did live for these debates.

"Well, maybe not," Carmilla admitted, looking up from the crossword and over at Laura. "But you know, it was allegedly King James I of England that said 'no news is better than evil news'. Today most news agencies, be it a newspaper, the internet, or a TV news channel, only report the bad and the ugly, ignoring the good section. No newspaper writes about a cute cat video they saw the other day."

Laura laughed, "well that's just excessive."

"Life is excessive," Carmilla shrugged.

"You're being impossible."

"I'm having fun!"

"You suck," Laura pouted.

"Tough shit."

Laura just rolled her eyes and Carmilla smiled sweetly at her before getting back to her crossword.

A couple of minutes passed before Carmilla absentmindedly asked, "how was class?"

“Huh?” Laura asked confused before realising Carmilla didn’t yet know that she didn't actually go to class that morning, “oh, it was fine. Same as usual.”

“You’re acting weird,” Carmilla looked up at her, “you were acting weird last night when we were walking back from Will's and you're acting weird now." She sighed in defeat, "I can’t help but think I did something wrong.” Before Laura got a chance to correct her Carmilla continued, “I’m not entirely sure what I’ve done, but whatever it is I’m sorry, Laura. I know I can be an idiot sometimes, and I’m rude and aloof, but however much of a jerk I am that is never because of you. I need you to know that, and I need you to know that I would never and will never intentionally try to hurt you.”

“No,” Laura stopped her, “no, you’ve done nothing wrong.” She smiled reassuringly at Carmilla, reaching across the table to take Carmilla's hands in her own. “I kind of may have overheard a little bit of your conversation with Will yesterday. Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday this weekend?”

 _Oh._ “Uhh,” Carmilla looked down to avoid eye contact before shrugging, “honestly? I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I guess I didn’t think it would matter? It never meant anything before why would that be different now?”

Laura took Carmilla’s face in her hands, lifting it to look into her eyes, “it means something because I love you. Because your birthday is there to remind us of your birth, which I, for one, really appreciate happening.”

Carmilla sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Laura shook her head, “just- will you tell me when it was?”

"Yesterday," Carmilla said, feeling a little bit guilty.

"Oh," Laura said happily, "that's not even 24 hours ago, great!" She received a confused look from Carmilla which she effectively ignored, instead reaching for the present she had got her in her bag. "Here," she held out a wrapped present for Carmilla to take, grinning widely, "happy birthday."

Carmilla raised her eyebrows at Laura, but Laura simply persisted, signalling for Carmilla to take the gift.

"What is it?" Carmilla asked while looking down at the present in question.

Laura laughed, "open it, genius."

"What, now?"

"Yes," Laura sighed, gesturing for Carmilla to go ahead.

Carmilla carefully removed the ribbon that was wrapped around the paper before carefully removing the wrapping, keeping it all as intact as possible. Her eyes went wide when she reached the two books that were tied together with twine, the first editions of Albert Camus' diaries and notebooks between 1935 and 1951.

"You were reading the third one, his notes from 1951 to 1959, a few weeks ago, and I googled the guy because I didn't know who he was and saw that he had two more. I never saw them around your place, so I kind of assumed you didn't have them."

Carmilla only nodded, still staring at the books, before looking up after a moment shaking her head, "this is too much. These are first editions, they must have cost a fortune."

She tried to push the books back to Laura, but Laura was having none of it, "No, Carmilla, stop. They're for you."

"But- but what- it's- what?" Was all Carmilla could stutter out.

Laura smiled and squeezed Carmilla's hand, "happy birthday."

Carmilla turned blank. Not because this was bad, no, it was quite the opposite. Carmilla found it hard to comprehend the situation that was currently unfolding, this was by far the nicest thing anyone had done for her after her father's death all those years ago. She felt tears pushing in the back of her eyes, whatever it was that she was currently feeling it was overwhelming and new. She looked down at the books again, the two absolutely perfect first editions that she had looked for so long after she got her hands on the third volume.

Laura had resumed to her eating long ago, leaving Carmilla with her thoughts when she saw her starting to zone out. She was preoccupied with her own things to notice Carmilla raising her head again to look at her.

"Thank you," Carmilla said, hugging the books close to her chest, "they're perfect."

"Huh?" Laura said before catching up, grinning when she did so, "any time."

"Do you have classes after this?"

"No," Laura furrowed her brows in question, "why, what's up?"

"Do you want to develop the pictures you took this weekend?"

"Really?" Laura's face broke out into a face splitting grin then, "you'll let me in there while you're developing?"

Carmilla nodded, "don't make me regret it."

\----------------------------------------------

"So how does this work?" Laura asked when they entered the darkroom after their lunch.

"Well," Carmilla started, stretching her arm around where Laura was standing to flip a switch, "we start by turning on the light outside that lets the world know that the darkroom is in use. So that nobody comes in here and ruins our pictures."

Carmilla walked around the room to set everything up, filling up the containers to create a developing bath, a stop bath, and a fixer bath.

"I'm gonna turn off the lights, you ready?"

"Yes, let's go!" Laura said enthusiastically as Carmilla shut off the lights, leaving on the red safety light.

"I cheated a little bit," Carmilla said guiltily, "I already developed my roll before our lunch, so we've got the negatives going, we just need to make these tiny pictures," she held up a strip of film, "bigger."

Carmilla took a second to find the picture she wanted to develop first, "we use this here piece of machinery," she walked over to the large machine in the back of the room, "commonly known as an enlarger, to enlarge our negatives onto this here photo paper."

As Carmilla went through the process of enlarging her photo, Laura watched on intently, listening to everything Carmilla was saying.

"And now that we have our nice perfectly sized photo looking invisible as of right now," She walked over to the first developing bath, "we soak it in this here chemical for about a minute and watch the magic happen."

Carmilla carefully placed the photo into the developer bath, using a pair of plastic thongs to make sure it was covered completely, keeping it moving ever so slightly.

"Oh my God," Laura leaned over Carmilla's shoulder when she saw the actual picture come through on the paper, completely in awe, "amazing."

Carmilla laughed and pecked Laura's cheek, "magic."

Laura squinted a little bit, "is that me?"

Carmilla only nodded before lifting the picture from the developer and putting it into the stop bath a moment later.

"This other chemical stops the developing process, we're supposed to leave it in here for another minute."

The were both intently paying attention to the photo in the stop bath until a minute passed and Carmilla lifted it over to the fixer solution.

"Fixer," she simply said, "it's supposed to stabilise the picture and some other stuff, I don't really know.. It's just part of the steps."

After a minute, she lifted the photograph from the fixer solution into a rise bath.

"This is just water, to remove excess chemicals and what not, it's rinsing the photo."

"Awesome," Laura commented, completely in awe. "This is so cool."

"And now we just do this to the rest of the photos we took," Carmilla laughed before adding, "or at least the ones we want to see all blown up and nice."

\----------------------------------------------

"Amazing," Laura said once again as they were finishing up and cleaning everything up, all the pictures hung up to dry.

Carmilla laughed, "you've already said that."

"I know, but it's true! This is so cool, and fun! I can definitely see the appeal of photography."

"Well, the scary part isn't over yet. We still haven't actually looked at the pictures we've developed, and that can go one of two ways," Carmilla added nervously as she turned on the lights.

Laura walked over to the string of pictures to inspect them, smiling as she looked over all of them, laughing when she saw the beginning of a stream of pictures of nothings that she took in the car.

"You know," Laura started, turning her head to Carmilla, "I think you'll be positively surprised, some of these are really good."

"Really?" Carmilla said hopefully, all but running over to Laura to study the pictures. Just like Laura, Carmilla smiled when she looked over them, letting out a small laugh when she saw the pictures Laura took. She reached out for one and unhooked it before looking down at it and smiling, "this one is really nice," she showed it to Laura.

Laura laughed when she saw the picture Carmilla was holding out to her. It was the first picture Laura had taken in the car, where she had turned the camera on herself. She had scrunched up her nose and was looking over at Carmilla in distaste.

Carmilla took down another one, a picture of her that Laura had taken. She couldn't help but stare at it, the picture depicted her being in a state she couldn't last remember when she saw herself in. The picture was taken in profile as Carmilla had been driving and was looking out in front of her, paying attention to the road. Still, if one looked closely, one could notice the smallest of smiles gracing her face. One could see the happiness reaching her eyes, despite the smallest of smiles. She was looking at this photo of herself, and there was happiness written all over it, all over her.

"That's my favourite," Laura said when she looked down at the picture in Carmilla's hands, "it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It's beautiful. You're beautiful, and I love you."

Carmilla smiled at her before reaching out for two more photos, handing them to Laura, "these are my favourites."

Laura looked at them and realised it was the last two pictures Carmilla had taken of her. They were good. They were beyond good, even. In the first one, Laura had smiled a very strained smile. Her eyes shut tight and her nose crunching up as a result of all the effort to show off the biggest, teethiest, smile the world had ever seen. It was funny and cute, and the complete opposite of the second picture. In this one, Laura wasn't smiling or paying attention. She was looking at Carmilla with the utmost admiration and her undivided attention. Carmilla though that it was an absolutely stunning photo of Laura that pushed through a vision of love and admiration like she had never seen before.

"Those make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, they're gorgeous because you're in them."

"You're definitely exaggerating, but they are really good, I can't deny that." She sat the photos down and turned to Carmilla, "you were born for this, you know."

"I know," Carmilla said cockily before laughing, "I think this is the best photo set I have had in years. All because you're in them."

"Well," Laura shrugged, "I am pretty great."

 "I know you're joking, but you really are extraordinary." Carmilla leaned in for a kiss, "you're perfect."


	12. The Seven Seas of Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is finally here, and isn't it wonderful that it is almost twice as long as usual?? 
> 
> Have fun reading!

A few weeks later, Laura and Carmilla were in the in the park with LaFontaine and Perry. They came there with the intention to study, deciding the park was perfect because of the beautiful weather. Carmilla tried to argue that it was extremely impractical, and she had said that although it was warm out it was still winter and not generally a time to be in any park to study, but she was outvoted in a second. Instead of getting more into it, she had just rolled her eyes and gone along with it.

After getting to the park nearby, Laura and Perry put down the blankets they brought before everyone took their seats. Carmilla had been helping Perry with one of her projects for a while before LaFontaine had gotten hungry and asked if they could go find some food. Perry had just looked at Carmilla apologetically then, and Carmilla was honestly surprised that Perry thought she would care if they took a break.

"By all means," Carmilla dismissed Perry.

"Do you guys want anything?" Perry asked before she and LaFontaine made their way to a nearby café.

"Cookies," Laura said enthusiastically, looking up from her book and grinning.

"Cookies, of course," LaFontaine teased before turning to Carmilla in question.

"Today's paper?"

"Newspaper?" They questioned, receiving a sharp nod, "okay, perfect! We'll back soon," LaFontaine said before they practically dragged Perry away with them.

Carmilla turned to Laura as soon as they were gone, finding her having gone back to reading whatever it was she was reading before. Not wanting to disturb her, Carmilla simply crawled over to her and placed her head in Laura's lap. She turned to lie on her side, snuggling her face into Laura’s stomach and breathing in deeply before closing her eyes and sighing happily.

Laura looked down at her and smiled briefly before getting back to her book, weaving a hand hand through Carmilla's hair. It didn't take more than five minutes, Laura suspected, before she completely lost interest in the book and realised that she was spending more time glancing down at Carmilla and smiling than she was spending time trying to read. At the point of this realisation, instead of even trying, she simply gave up with a heavy sigh.

Carmilla opened her eyes then to find Laura folding the corner of her book, and her eyes widened in horror.

"Woah, there, what are you doing?" Carmilla laughed nervously and sat up.

Laura looked at her in question, "uhm, I am taking a break?"

Carmilla took the book Laura was just putting down, "nono, I mean this," she pointed to the little dog ear that Laura had just made. She started thumbing through the rest of the book, finding what looked like more pages with their corners bent down than not.

"Yes, folding corners of books is a common thing people do to keep track of where they are in a text?" Laura questioned.

"This is terrible," Carmilla simply said, not really paying attention to what Laura had just said, "it's like literary abuse. What did this book ever do to you?"

"I'm sorry, what? Literary abuse? Is that even a thing…"

Carmilla was fully aware that she had asked a question, but when Laura worded her reply, Carmilla still didn't really pay attention. Instead, she went back and started to unfold the corners of the book.

"What are you doing?" Laura said as she reached for Carmilla’s hand to stop her from removing all her bookmarks.

Carmilla was completely oblivious to Laura intention to stop her, instead just intertwining her hand with the one Laura had taken a hold of, now placing the book down on her lap and continuing to straighten out the pages of the book. With her brows furrowed in concentration and her mind elsewhere, she barely mumbled, "you might want to consider getting a bookmark.”

Laura could only stare at Carmilla for a moment before shaking her head. She couldn't find it in her either to be upset with Carmilla, because honestly, "that's adorable."

"What?" Carmilla immediately questioned, looking over to her with a frown.

"You're just cute,” Laura shrugged.

Carmilla huffed, "flattery will get you nowhere," before closing the book after straightening out the last page, tossing it back over to Laura.

"Au contraire," Laura began, smiling as she sat up on her knees and leaned in closer to Carmilla, "flattery will get you everywhere."

Laura leaned on her hands that were placed on either side of Carmilla, placing a tender kiss to her lips. Carmilla grinned when Laura broke the kiss, leaning back to lay down and pulling Laura with her to lie on top of her. Laura giggled as she was hugged tightly by Carmilla, however her laugher soon died down when Carmilla attached their lips again. She sighed happily, and just as she was about to deepen the kiss further, Laura's phone went off.

Carmilla only groaned and let her hands fall from where they had been resting on the warm skin of Laura's lower back just under her shirt, to now rest by her sides. Laura pecked her lips one last time before apologising and sitting back, but still not removing herself off Carmilla's lap, answering her phone.

While Laura was on the phone, Carmilla started picking at a loose thread on Laura's jeans, allowing herself to zone out for a moment. When she heard Laura say her goodbye's before hanging up and releasing a sigh, Carmilla furrowed her brows and sat up to look at her.

"Is everything okay?"

"No," Laura simply answered grumpily. When Carmilla only looked at her in question, she let out an exasperated sigh before letting herself fall forward into Carmilla who just barely managed to keep her balance and keep the two of them up as she wasn't prepared for the weight. Laura mumbled into Carmilla's shoulder, "Danny is coming."

"Danny?" Carmilla questioned.

Laura nodded and breathed in deeply before lifting her head back, "she said something about an email from our professor about some group assignment thing, something about some extra work or extra credit or something…" she trailed off before adding, "I tried to say that I was busy, but she insisted! Apparently it's super urgent."

Carmilla nodded slowly, forcing a smile to appear on her face, "it's okay."

Laura sighed and leaned her forehead against Carmilla's, "It will be super quick, I'll work faster than I ever have before, I promise."

Laughing, Carmilla shook her head, "it's okay, Laura, I'll still be here when you're done." She placed a sweet kiss to Laura's lips before pulling back completely and getting her stuff together, "I'll talk to you later?"

Carmilla's voice reflected one of sadness, and Laura grimaced at the sound of it, reaching out to stop Carmilla's hand reaching for one of her books. Carmilla had been avoiding another meeting with Danny for a number of reasons, but mostly she had avoided it because of her promise to Laura. Carmilla had promised to be nicer to Danny the next time they might met, but based on Carmilla's first impression of the girl, that was something she wasn't entirely sure she could do. Therefore, whenever Danny had come up in conversations, Carmilla had immediately steered it to something else, and whenever her presence was mentioned or assumed to happen, she had quietly retreated, needing to be anywhere but where the other girl would be. While Laura hadn't really thought much of it before, this time the sudden and very clear sadness in Carmilla's voice was something she never would have missed.

"You don't have to leave, you know. You could stay?" Laura asked hopefully.

Carmilla smiled at her then, "thanks for the offer creampuff, but I know better than to overstay my welcome."

"You're not overstaying anything," Laura protested, "I will always want you right next to me. Besides, LaF and Perry will be back any second, and LaF said they'd get you a newspaper! You can't leave."

Carmilla wanted to argue, but when Laura looked back at her pouting she could only sigh and nod.

Laura grinned at her one last time, pecking her lips quickly before climbing off her. When she picked up her book again, Carmilla took her previous position again, with her head placed in Laura's lap and her face snuggling into her stomach.

Some minutes later, LaFontaine and Perry came back with cookies for Laura and a newspaper for Carmilla. When Carmilla made no indication that she was about to move a single muscle to accept the paper, Laura took it from LaFontaine instead, thanking them for the both of them. Laura also told them about the phone call with Danny and that she would be coming along any minute, which neither of them seemed to mind. Seeing Carmilla's unwillingness to move, Perry simply smiled at the sight before her. It was about time Carmilla was allowed to be happy, she thought, definitely not minding the study break at all.

Carmilla had heard the other couple returning some minutes ago, but if she was being honest, she was much too comfortable to move, and Perry's tutoring session was long forgotten. Her senses were flooded with all things Laura, and the other girls hand in her hair made her brain fuzzy. With every passing minute she could feel herself drifting off to sleep, eventually drifting all the way into the unconscious.

\----------------------------------------------

When Laura realised that Carmilla had fallen asleep in her lap, she didn't even try to hold back the grin that graced her face. She had just let Carmilla be, unable to get herself to disturb the absolutely adorable sight. It was only a little while later, when Danny came along, that Carmilla stirred.

"Laura, hey!" Danny said cheerfully from a few feet away, "hey guys," she acknowledged LaFontaine and Perry smiling sweetly at the two. It was only as she got closer to the group that she saw Carmilla, and the disappointment on her face was evident. She was quick to recover, however, greeting Carmilla, too, with a stiff nod, "Carmilla."

Carmilla briefly stirred due to the noise coming from the new addition to the group, turning her head ready to give whoever was making all the sound a death glare, only to realise it was Danny. Instead of glaring, she simply rolled her eyes before turning back away from everyone.

"Always nice to see you too," Danny said sarcastically.

Oblivious to the grimace coming from LaFontaine across from her, Laura simply smiled at Danny, ready to just get this over with.

"Right, so what do we need to get done?"

"Uhh," Danny glanced down at Carmilla, wondering when and if she was planning to move at all, before meeting Laura's eyes again. When Laura didn't bring it up, Danny figured she would probably be better off if she didn't say anything, instead answering Laura's initial question, "basically we just need to kind of re-write and improve one section of the last project we did, turn it into a new paper, and viola! It really shouldn't be too much work, but Mr. White specified he wanted it all done and back within a couple of days."

"Great! Let's get cracking."

\----------------------------------------------

Danny had been a real sport for the past hour, but Laura's both limited and restricted movement due to Carmilla's sleeping head in her lap was beginning to get to her. She had wanted to comment the impracticality of Carmilla's presence for a while - actually from the moment she arrived - but she had refrained from doing so, not wanting to start anything. Now, however, she was growing more and more frustrated by the minute.

"You know," she started, attempting to scoot closer to Laura, "this would be easier if we could both look at the same thing at the same time instead of having to pass the book back and forth."

Laura shrugged, "but we're doing fine, no? I thought we were almost done actually."

Danny sighed, "I'm just saying, maybe finishing this up would go faster and smoother if the vampire school reject in your lap wasn't there."

Laura frowned then, while Carmilla, whom everyone had assumed had been sleeping, sighed and sat up, leaving some space between her and Laura. She grabbed her book out of her bag and started reading without so much as a word.

Perry had raised her eyebrows in surprise when Carmilla had done so, and when she looked over at LaFontaine, she found them with a similar expression on their face.

"Hey, you're awake!" Laura grinned over at Carmilla, receiving a short, but genuine, smile in response.

Danny took a deep breath before she stretched and grinned, "there. Doesn't that feel so much better?"

Laura looked over at Danny strangely then, but she just shrugged it off and changed the subject back to something related to the assignment they were working on.

A short moment later, Laura nudged Carmilla's foot with her own to get her attention, silently asking if she was OK. Carmilla nodded, and Laura smiled back at her. The interaction took all of two seconds, but based on her reaction, this is something that must have gone unnoticed by Danny.

"Laura," Danny said sharply, making both Carmilla and Laura turn to look at her, "focus please? I don't want to be here all day." She gave Carmilla a look when Laura had smiled apologetically, trying to convey her distaste for the other girl.

Carmilla narrowed her eyes at Danny for a moment before looking away and taking a deep breath. _Everything is fine._

\----------------------------------------------

The same thing happened a few more times, but each time, Carmilla chose to ignore it, thinking about her promise to Laura to be nicer. Danny had continuously glared at Carmilla, throwing out comments about how she was disturbing the quiet or how she was too close to Laura making her unfocused. Although Carmilla had only been reading her book, Danny seemed determined to either get rid of her, or at the very least piss her off. It was first when Danny made a comment about Carmilla quieting down when she was discussing something with LaFontaine that she thought that it was time to stop. She turned to Laura to let her know she was leaving, and despite Laura's pouting face and her protests, Carmilla stood her ground this time. She packed up all her things, and it was just as she was about to say a final goodbye that she heard it.

Before Carmilla could get away, she overheard Danny whisper to Perry, "thank God, right? I thought she would never leave."

Perry's furrowed brows at the comment went entirely unnoticed when Carmilla came to a halt and turned on her heels.

"Excuse me?" Carmilla finally said, looking straight at Danny.

"Uhh," Danny stumbled, "I was just- I didn't- what?"

"What is your problem? You give me these nasty look and you throw out comments - I mean, what exactly can I do for you?"

"Leave?" Danny answered cockily, a smirk on her lips.

Laura furrowed her brows then, "wait, what?" And Perry and LaFontaine shared a look.

"You don't actually need to be here and you're just in the way, why are you even here?" Danny continued.

"I want her to be here," Laura tried to reason.

Carmilla huffed, "not that it's any of your business, but before you came along I was helping Perry with a project."

"Wait," Danny feigned surprise, "can it be- the broody vampire is making time for someone else? Do you actually have feelings? Is your heart not entirely shrivelled up inside of you?"

"Danny," Perry said sternly, interjecting to giving her a look of disapproval.

Carmilla, however, ignored Perry and walked closer to the group again, "oh, you have me all figured out, don't you?" She raised her voice an octave before continuing, "boo-hoo, Carmilla has no feelings, Carmilla is so mean and angry, she can't possibly care about anything." She lowered her voice again before looking Danny dead in the eye to finish, "am I close?"

Danny shrugged, "well, yeah." When everyone around her were kind of taken aback by her simple answer she expanded, "I mean you straight up told me we would never be friends the first time we spoke when you really don't even know me? You have literally not said one nice thing to me since we met the first time."

"Yes, and?"

"And what?"

Carmilla rolled her eyes, "We've met once, just barely. I don’t praise your ability to stay alive, and I say that you being friends with Laura doesn't mean that we have to be friends, and that, according to you, is what makes up the most terrible human being in the world..?"

"Basically."

"Of course it does," Carmilla shook her head in disbelief. "Feel free to also not let the close proximity to your little crush completely take over your reasoning abilities."

"What?" Laura and Danny said in unison, looking at each other.

"The whole world knows," Carmilla said, looking to Perry and LaFontaine for confirmation. They both nodded guiltily over at Danny who just scoffed.

"That's not even- you're just- this-," Danny was struggling to find the right words before giving up, "fine, whatever, it's just a crush. It's not clouding my judgement, I know I'm right," she stood her ground before mumbling, "I can't believe she went for you anyway."

Laura frowned then, "wait what?" But she went unnoticed once again.

"You are just so high and mighty, aren't you?"

"Excuse me?" Danny said with a hint of genuine surprise.

"I might be broody, and sceptical of other human beings, and rude or stand-offish, but at least I'm realistic. You think you know things. You think you know how the world works, and you think that if you just stay pure of heart and really really believe, then that will make all the difference-"

"There's nothing wrong with that-" Danny tried to interrupt.

"You understand nothing, you know nothing. Not about life, not about this place, not about me, and certainly not about what it takes to survive in a world that's really just-" Carmilla stopped herself and took a deep breath, calming down before continuing, "the sooner you see the world for what it actually is, the better of you'll be."

"Jesus, that's depressing," Danny let out a small laugh.

"You're really so privileged that you don't even see it, do you?" Carmilla said in disbelief before explaining, "you can choose to only see what benefits you, or you can choose to look beyond that into something else. When you walk past a statue or a memorial, you can choose to see some old dude or some raggedy people or some crazy abstract piece of art, or you can see the story behind it, the story of someone who maybe committed murder and practically genocide for, quote unquote, 'the greater good'. My point here is perception. How little and insignificant certain things are, like the way that I am, how I live my life, and how it apparently somehow offends you. You have the privilege of hating on something that is so incredibly insignificant compared to so many much, much, bigger situations and problems."

Danny only looked at Carmilla, unsure what to say now.

Sighing, Carmilla just said, "I'm saying you need to get over yourself. You're not important enough to have your own theme song, none of us are."

Carmilla turned to leave, only turning her head back once to throw over her shoulder, "well, maybe Laura." She winked at Laura before continuing to walk away.

"Oh, no! Don't leave! No, come back!" Danny said sarcastically after Carmilla, a smug smile playing on her lips.

"Leave it," Laura turned towards Danny for a moment with a raging fire in her eyes, before turning back towards Carmilla... She stared after her for a moment, unable to fully process what had just happened. When it finally hit her, Carmilla was nearing the end of the grass line. That didn't stop Laura from trying though, "Wait- Carmilla, stop!" She called after her while desperately trying to gather her things.

LaFontaine, Perry, and Danny had all been watching with worried faces as Laura called after Carmilla and started gathering her things. It was only when Laura rushed to stand up, ready to march on after Carmilla, that LaFontaine stopped her. "Hey," they started, taking a hold of Laura's hand, "give her a minute."

Laura looked between them and Carmilla unsurely before turning to Perry, conflict swirling clearly in her eyes.

"It's okay, sweetie," Perry said reassuringly, "she's okay."

Laura nodded firmly once before sitting down despite everything inside her telling her to follow Carmilla. She didn't know what had just happened, but she did know that Carmilla did not seem to be OK. Carmilla had been upset before, sure, Laura knew that- Laura had been there for that. But despite all the anger, Laura had always been there after. She had always seen what it did to her. She had witnessed the pained looks on Carmilla's face when she realised what had happened, witnessed the self hatred and the walls coming back up. She could tell that this was different from other times, bigger than other times, but it still just felt wrong not to be there.

A few minutes passed with Laura deep in thought. Perry and LaFontaine had looked at her for a moment, waiting for something, anything, to come out of the girl who never stopped. When it hadn't happened, they had looked at one another and shrugged before getting back to their initial conversation.

Danny was sat awkwardly looking around, picking at the grass, not knowing what to do. She tried to join in on Perry and LaFontaine's conversation, but it wasn't really working for her.

Everyone's attention was pulled from wherever when Laura abruptly stood, grabbed her bag, and stormed off without another word.

"Laura, what-"

"Dude," LaFontaine simply said, "not the time."

Danny sighed dejectedly, but accepted it. After a moment of two she excused herself from Perry and LaFontaine, suddenly feeling as if she had overstayed her welcome by a lifetime.

\----------------------------------------------

Carmilla had just kept walking once she reached solid ground again. She didn't have a specific direction in mind, and she didn't have a specific thought in mind, she just knew that she needed to leave. She wasn't sure what had just happened, but whatever it was it was too much. She suddenly regretted not leaving earlier, before Danny even got there, because the guilt she was feeling right now certainly didn't feel worth it. She had made a promise to Laura to be nicer to Danny, but now there was probably no chance of that. Ever. With furrowed eyebrows and her feet moving on their own accord, she thought back to what just happened, contemplating whether or not it was maybe OK. Maybe her reaction was OK. Danny was bring unreasonable, that much she was sure of. Carmilla had simply spoken her mind as she always does, trying to stand up for herself. Fine, so she could sort of see how her reaction might have been a bit much and possibly even uncalled for… But what was she supposed to do? Danny was definitely giving her looks, and her final comment was more than unreasonable, even Laura would realise that. … right..?

With one final sigh Carmilla looked up and around her, and she realised she had made it to the old cinema in town. The original 1933 King Kong movie was on in five minutes, so she simply shrugged before getting herself a ticket, thinking she might as well give herself a break for just a couple hours.

\----------------------------------------------

Laura had lost sight of Carmilla pretty much immediately, but as she stormed off she was determined to find her. After all, how many places would Carmilla really go to in a situation like this? Laura figured she would most likely just have gone home, gone to the place she knows best.

 

She marched onwards to Carmilla's apartment, pressing all the buttons for every apartment in the building once she reached it until someone inevitably buzzed her in. It was first when she was inside the building that she realised she didn't really know what to do, she didn't know what to say or how to behave. Was she supposed to be angry? Upset? Confused? She was definitely confused, but that's pretty much all she was if she was being honest. Not knowing what exactly had happened, cursing herself now for her naturally oblivious state of mind, she really didn't know anything.

Taking a deep breath, Laura began to climb the stairs up a couple of floors before she reached Carmilla's door. There, she sighed before knocking lightly, listening intently for something, anything, to sound from inside. When she heard nothing, not even so much as a shuffle on the couch, she tried again, harder this time.

"Carmilla? Carmilla, are you there?"

Met with silence, Laura sighed and leaned back against the door before sliding down to the floor. Carmilla would have to come back sooner or later, so she decided to wait it out. She pulled her knees up close to her chest, feeling small and like she should have been better.

Some minutes passed before Laura's phone suddenly rang and she picked it up in a heartbeat.

"Carm?" she eagerly questioned into the phone.

"Oh, sorry, no," LaFontaine started, "just me."

"Oh," Laura said dejectedly, "hey."

"Hey…"

"Have either of you guys heard from her?" Laura couldn't help but ask.

LaFontaine furrowed their eyebrows, "no, why? Should we have heard anything? I thought you were going after her?"

Laura sighed, "I'm at her place, but she's not here."

The line went silent for a moment before Laura continued, "I just don't know what happened, I don't know what to do, LaF, I don't know where she is… She's not answering my calls or anything and it's getting late and I'm kind of freaking out! What if she's not okay? What if she's hurt? What if I should have been there and now I'm not..." She trailed off.

"I'm sure she's fine. I think that she might just need a little bit of time, she'll let you know when she's ready."

Laura groaned into the phone, feeling increasingly more frustrated, "but she could still at least tell me that she's okay, you know? I'm just scared, she's clearly not talked to anyone since she left, I just need to know that she's okay."

"I know," LaFontaine sighed, "I know, Laura, but I think we need to remember that Carmilla is, in some ways, a somewhat damaged individual, constantly fighting against seven seas of demons. Many of them self-created, sure, but still all too real. I think that maybe whatever happened back there set something off. I think that Carmilla is fine. She's strong, she's smart, brave, maybe stupidly so, but I mean she's yours, Laura, she's okay. She needs a moment right now, but then she will need you."

Laura was quiet then. She knew LaFontaine was right, she knew. It didn't stop her from worrying just as much, thinking about everything just as much, wanting, and wishing, just as much. It didn't make her brain stop, it only made her realise that she needed to find a way to breathe in the midst of everything.

Sighing, she finally said, "okay."

\----------------------------------------------

Carmilla rounded the corner to the hall leading to her apartment sometime later that night, she wasn't sure exactly how late it was, only that it was significantly  darker out now than it was when she had entered the movie theatre earlier. She stopped dead in her tracks, however, when she spotted Laura outside her door. Laura had pulled her knees close to her chest, her hands wrapped around them to hold them in place with her head resting on her knees. Her eyes were closed, seemingly asleep, but Carmilla could see the pained look on her face even then. She felt a slight pull in her chest at the thought of Laura sitting her for God knows how long, waiting for her. Her chest tightened even more so when she realised she had completely forgotten to get back to those texts and calls from Laura that she had actually meant to get back to at some point. She took a deep breath and braced herself for everything that could happen.

"Laura," Carmilla whispered, crouching down to be level with the girl. She brought a hand up to run through Laura's hair, smiling softly when brown eyes blinked open, "hey you."

It took a moment for Laura to see clearly, ridding her eyes of the sleepiness that had her falling asleep in the first place. Once she could see clearly again, however, she briefly met Carmilla's eyes before practically throwing herself into Carmilla's arms, knocking her off her balance in the process.

"Woah there," Carmilla barely caught herself and Laura, taking a moment to steady the two of them.

Laura let Carmilla go after a moment, her face changing from one of relief to one of anger, tears welling in her eyes.

"Where the hell have you been?" She all but yelled as she smacked Carmilla's arm.

"Ouch!" Carmilla inched away from Laura, "I was at the movies! King Kong was on..."

"The movies?" Laura said incredulously, before narrowing her eyes at Carmilla, "you let me worry sick about you because 'King Kong was-' what the hell, Carmilla?!"

"I'm sorry!" Carmilla all but yelled back although there was no sign of any anger in her voice, "I didn't know what to do, I needed a distraction and the movies is where my feet took me. I was going to call, I swear-"

A sigh from Laura broke Carmilla's rambling, "I didn't mean to yell... I was just worried."

"I know."

"I don't understand anything," Laura chuckled.

Letting a small smile grace her face, Carmilla shook her head and stood up. She held a hand out and helped Laura up too before she unlocked the door to her apartment, holding the door open to let Laura in before her, "yeah, me neither."

Closing the door behind her, Carmilla had immediately made her way over to the couch where she had flopped down on her back. When Laura didn't seem like she would follow her, Carmilla turned her head to see a nervous looking Laura by the kitchen island.

"Everything okay over there?"

"Hmm? Yeah," Laura nodded, "yes, of course. Everything is super over here."

Carmilla furrowed her brows and sat up, "no, something is definitely wrong."

"I just," Laura tried, "I don't know, I don't understand what happened back there. What was that?"

"I don't know," Carmilla sighed.

Laura groaned in frustration, "but you have to at least have some thoughts, right? I mean you kind of went off for a second before you just walked away and then you were gone for hours and you didn't let anyone know where you were or even just tell us you're OK! It didn't even have to be me, just someone..."

Carmilla shook her head, "we're not talking about this. We can't talk about this."

"What?" Laura furrowed her brows, "why? I want to talk about it."

"Because," she sighed, "if I don't tell you the truth it's going to seem like I don't care, but if I do you'll resent me for illogical reasoning. Or something... It's a lose-lose."

"But-" Laura said dumbly as she watched Carmilla stand up and stretch, "but you're the one I want to talk to."

"Sorry," Carmilla threw over her shoulder on her way over to her bedroom, "but I can't help you."

Laura stood still for a few moments, unsure what to do next. She didn't want to push this, because the more she thought about it, the less important it seemed to be. In the end, she didn't care so much about whatever had happened earlier between Carmilla and Danny, rather she cared about Carmilla and not very much else right now.

When she entered the bedroom sometime later, Carmilla was laid on the very edge of the side furthest away from Laura and the door, curled in on herself with her back towards Laura looking like she was desperately trying to make herself smaller and smaller until eventually she would just disappear. Laura crawled into the bed, laying down pressed flush against Carmilla's back, bringing an arm protectively around her waist. She pressed a soft kiss to Carmilla's neck and felt the girl relax ever so slightly as she did so.

"I could never resent you," Laura started quietly. "I just- I don't know. I'm sorry for being pushy about this, I just can't tell what you're thinking."

Carmilla was completely still and didn't answer right away, her mind too preoccupied with everything else to process what Laura had just said. It was when Laura started to suspect Carmilla might have fallen asleep that she decided to turn around in Laura's arms to face her. She looked into Laura's eyes for a long moment, seeing nothing but love and adoration there, before she lowered her head, snuggling into the nook of Laura's neck and breathing in the scents that were so Laura, very deeply.

She pulled back ever so slightly when she was ready, so that her voice wouldn't be so muffled when she spoke. "Sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak. And that any goodness I might have started out with has just slowly spilled out of me and now it's all gone. And I will never get it back in me."

The room was quiet for a moment as Laura was at a loss for words then.

"It's too late," Carmilla quietly concluded, not fully intending for Laura to pick up that last bit of information.

Laura thought for a moment, before pulling back far enough that she could see Carmilla's face. She carefully placed a hand on Carmilla's cheek before looking her dead in the eye, "I might not know a lot of things, like you do... I might not be super sophisticated, or elegant, or good enough." She let out a small laugh before continuing, "I might actually just be naive, impossibly silly, and definitely oblivious to most things... But I do know, that no matter how dark, and cold, and impossible the world may be, _you_ , Carmilla Karnstein, are really good." She smiled the most genuine of smiles at Carmilla before placing a soft kiss to her forehead and pulling her closer to her again.

"I'm sorry," Carmilla mumbled after a couple of minutes.

"I know," Laura said, dropping a kiss to the top of Carmilla's head, "it's OK."

There was a moment before the silence was broken again, but when it was, it was Carmilla who had quietly admitted, "I'm so scared."

Laura looked at her with a questioning gaze, "what do you mean?"

"Every day with you is better than the last, Laura, and I am just terrified that one day you will come home, and you'll sit down, and you'll suddenly realise that you don't want this. You don't want _me_. You'll realise that you can't be around someone like me, someone who's just fuelled by bitterness and negativity... Someone who has so many scars that might never fully heal. You'll begin to wonder what on earth it is that you are doing here, with me. Because it's the same thing that always happens. You didn't know me. Then you fell in love with me. And then you got to know me." She chuckled and continued, "it's funny, because when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses all the red flags they just look like flags... Until they don't."

Laura only nodded, before smiling widely, "well, then it's a good thing I have prescription glasses, isn't it?"

Carmilla actually snorted then, before hiding her grin in the nook of Laura's neck again.

"I love you," she mumbled out.

"Hmm?"

Carmilla reluctantly pulled back, but she was unable to fight the grin that had made its way to her face. She rolled her eyes and exaggerated her repetition, "I love you," before kissing Laura sweetly.

When they pulled apart, Laura rested her forehead against Carmilla's, "I love you too," she quickly pecked Carmilla's lips again, "unconditionally and irrevocably."

When Laura moved to kiss her again, Carmilla stopped her, "did you just quote Bella Swan?"

Laura was visibly taken aback then, her eyebrows shooting up, "you've read Twilight?"

Carmilla mentally swore to herself before shrugging nonchalantly, "I might have dabbled..."

"Oh my God," Laura's grin grew wider, "you've read twilight!"

Carmilla groaned and rolled onto her back, throwing an arm over her face, "yes, fine, whatever, it's just a book. I read a lot in case you haven't noticed-"

"But Twilight?" Laura interrupted, "that is amazing." She supported her head on her hand as she leaned on her elbow, looking down at an embarrassed Carmilla. "So let me guess," she tapped her chin briefly for effect, "you're team Edward, am I right? Vampires unite and all that."

"Well Jacob is a fucking idiot isn't he, so that doesn't give one a lot of choices."

"Nuh-uh," Laura shook her head, "he is not an idiot, he's sensitive, and cute, and totally charming!"

"Charming? Please. Jacob is a butt hurt man child. At least Edward is realistic."

"Realistic? You do realise he's a vampire and those aren't real, right?"

Carmilla scoffed, "just because you haven't met one doesn't mean that they don't exist- and how is a werewolf better anyway? They are just as non-existent, or existent, as vampires. Give me a break. Edward is a realistic person."

"But he's not even that, he's a vampire- that's like a completely different species! Jacob is more realistic as a person anyway, he's more of a cliché like that." Laura tried.

"Jacob is a stupid werewolf!" Carmilla argued, realising she was way too into this discussion but not finding it in her to want to stop, "if anyone is a person it's Edward, I mean he's more of a realistic person than someone who turns into a WOLF when they're angry. Besides, Jacob is too sweet and baby-ish for Bella. Team Jacob makes absolutely no sense."

"This is amazing," Laura grinned, "you are amazing."

"I know, thanks. Now, don't change the subject just because you're losing the argument."

"What? I am not losing the argument, you are being impossible."

"Impossibly amazing apparently," Carmilla replied with a smug smile on her face.

Shaking her head, Laura only smiled as she leaned down and kissed Carmilla softly.

"I mean it, you know," Laura said as she turned a bit more serious, "you are everything I could ever want and so much more. Danny was being a jerk and I didn’t even see it, I should have just let you go when you wanted to. I'm sorry."

"I probably went off a bit more than I needed to considering I could have just left it and walked away, but I didn't," Carmilla shrugged, "I think something just snapped..." She trailed off.

A silence settled in the room, neither of them needing or wanting to say anything else about the matter. Carmilla was content like this, with the quiet settling, and Laura's arms wrapped around her. This was good.

"Carmilla?" Laura spoke up after a while.

"Hmm?" Carmilla lifted her face to look at a nervous Laura, furrowing her brows then, "what's wrong?"

When Carmilla was about to sit up, Laura stopped her, which was only more confusing to Carmilla.

"Nothing's wrong," Laura smiled, "I was just thinking- well I have been thinking for a while actually, but now it's getting closer and my chance of asking is running out and you know, now is probably as good a time as any, right?" She laughed nervously before continuing, "so I know you don't have the best relationship with your mom, and I guess I just assumed- which, now I realise I should never assume, what with the gift of hindsight and everything... I was just- are you- were you- I mean- what are you-"

Carmilla was watching Laura with an amused smile, only interrupting Laura now to say, "Laura, breathe."

Laura stopped and let out an airy laugh, "right. Breathe." She took a deep breath before continuing, "what are you doing for Christmas?"

Carmilla furrowed her brows, "Christmas?"

"Yes," Laura sighed, "Christmas. You know, that holiday that comes every year this time of year."

"Right, of course, I know Christmas..." Carmilla mumbled.

"Any grand plans?"

Carmilla furrowed her brows, "plans? No, should I have plans?"

"I don’t know," Laura shrugged, "I guess I was just wondering if you were spending it with your family?"

"Why would I do that?"

It was Laura’s turn to furrow her brows then, "because it’s Christmas," she answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yes, so you keep saying," she rolled her eyes, "I'm asking why this matters?"

"Because it's Christmas, Carmilla," Laura said exasperated, "Christmas is the best. Christmas trees, presents, awesome food, family, et cetera... It's just a great time of year!"

"Oh," Carmilla simply said, not elaborating or thinking more of it, just kind of saying it 

"Do you not like Christmas?"

Carmilla let out a light laugh, shaking her head, "I don't mind Christmas, it just doesn't mean anything, you know? It's just another day."

"No Christmas traditions then," Laura concluded.

"Nope," Carmilla started before changing her mind, "well I guess, but not anymore. When my father died things like Christmases and birthdays and any other holiday or special occasion just wasn't, well, special anymore." She shrugged like it was nothing, "Will usually comes over for some pizza, but he said something about going to a bro's house for the holidays or whatever... I was going to head down to the old cinema and watch whatever sappy classics they put on." Ignoring the confused look on Laura's face, Carmilla mumbled to herself, "they'll probably run 'A Christmas Carol' again, they always do that. Or maybe something worse, like 'It's a Wonderful Life'," her face contorted into one of disgust for a moment before the look of indifference came back.

Laura, however, was of course not accepting this. After all, Christmas is the best time of year, the only truly great time of year with all the lights and the happiness and the general improvement in humanity for a month or so being in the holiday spirits.

"Come home with me for Christmas next week."

"What?" Carmilla asked, surprise evident in her voice.

"Come home with me for Christmas," Laura repeated. "It's just me and dad, and I know he would love the extra company anyway, especially if it's you."

When Carmilla only looked at Laura, she rolled her eyes and continued, "please? I want to spend the holidays with you."

"I don't know," Carmilla said uncertain, "I don't want to be in your hair all the time... And you know, Will might want to go back home to see mother and he shouldn't do that alone..."

"You literally just said he was going to a 'bro' for Christmas," Laura said with a smirk.

Carmilla grimaced, "right, right... I did that, of course I did," she nodded.

"You don't have to, of course," Laura shrugged playfully before leaning in closer to Carmilla's face. With their mouth a mere inch apart, Laura could feel Carmilla's breath catch in her throat, causing a smile to appear on her own face. "You really don't have to," she repeated, her hand running across Carmilla's stomach under her shirt, goosebumps rising along the way, "but I wish you would." She dipped her head ever so slightly and placed an open mouthed kiss just where Carmilla's neck and shoulder meets, taking her sweet time to place a mark there before slowly making her way up Carmilla's neck.

"I uhh, I don't think that- well, I mean-" Carmilla was struggling to form coherent sentences with Laura being all over her, and with a final groan she brought Laura's face back up to hers and kissed her senseless before pulling back and breathing heavily, "fine," she said inbetween breaths, "Christmas it is."

Laura's face broke into a huge grin and Carmilla could swear that the girl had actually let out a tiny squeal, before she bent down and pecked Carmilla's lips again.

"I promise you that you will love Christmas again, just wait."

With that promise, Laura was nearly shaking with excitement for a short moment before she placed a sweet kiss to Carmilla's lips again, placing her head on Carmilla's chest as she laid back down. Her smile was on her face the whole night, not faltering even once. She was already planning the whole trip, everything they would do, everything they would see, and of course she already had a plan for Carmilla's present. Laura was one hundred percent sure that this would be the best Christmas Carmilla had ever experienced, because she was going to do everything in her power to make sure that it was.


	13. An Extraordinary Merry Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Great news, everybody, a new chapter! Also, even better news is that a couple more new chapters will be coming out in the very near future. In the following days, there will be a couple more chapters released! So keep an eye out for those...

A week later, Carmilla and Laura were once again in Will's truck. They were steadily making their way to Laura's childhood home where they would be spending the next two weeks celebrating Christmas and new years with Laura's father. Will had immediately, and very happily, handed Carmilla his car keys when she had come knocking on his door letting him know she would be spending Christmas in the Hollis home. He was more than relieved that neither of them would be seeing their mother this Christmas, and he was just happy that Carmilla wouldn't be alone the first year they would be spending Christmas apart in, well, ever.

"Take a left here," Laura said as she stretched her arm out to point. They had been in the car for two hours and they were just coming up to the neighbourhood now.

Carmilla laughed and placed a hand on Laura's arm to lower it from where it was close to blocking her entire field of vision. "You know, if you don't want to point every time you tell me to turn left that would be fine. I did learn my left from my right in pre-school like everyone else. Simply telling me would be more than enough."

Laura rolled her eyes, "you did not learn directions in pre-school. Nobody knows left from right ever, it is literally impossible to know."

"What?"

"I'm just saying that people who say they know the difference between left and right are lying."

"I think you're just bad at directions," Carmilla reasoned when Laura said to take another left and once again pointed.

"Maybe so, but we made it here, didn't we? It's that red house over there."

Carmilla pulled up and was turning to look at Laura but she was instead met with a closing door. She furrowed her brows but once she got out of the car herself she saw Laura and John hugging each other tightly on the front steps. Smiling, Carmilla reached back into the truck to grab her and Laura's bags before locking the car and making her way to the other two.

"Hey, I would have grabbed one of those," Laura said when she noticed Carmilla had carried both of their bags up.

Carmilla only shrugged, "I've got it." She nodded to John, "Mr Hollis, very nice to see you again."

"John, remember?" He said jokingly.

"Right, yes, of course. John."

"Oh come here," John pulled Carmilla into a tight hug as well then, and while Carmilla remained relatively stiff through it, she had to admit that it wasn't all that bad.

Laura smiled at the sight before her, reaching for her bag when her father let Carmilla go so that she could take a hold of Carmilla's now free hand.

"Well, I hope you guys are hungry because I made my famous enchiladas and I made a lot of it!" John said enthusiastically.

"Dad, they're not famous."

"Yet," John optimistically added, "not famous, _yet_."

While Laura rolled her eyes at that, Carmilla only shrugged, "I could go for enchiladas."

"Great," John clapped his hands together, "let's eat!"

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The three of them had spent dinner catching up, where it was mostly Laura who took care of keeping the conversation going with everything she wanted to share with her dad. Carmilla occasionally contributed, complimenting the food and Laura's stories when and where appropriate, but for the most part she was content listening to Laura's excited rambling to her father.

After dinner, Laura had almost immediately excused herself and Carmilla, letting her dad know they would make it an early night after the drive up there. John had only nodded and smiled, wishing the two goodnight.

"So this is where baby Laura grew up, huh?" Carmilla took in the room she was standing in. "Yellow?" she gestured to a wall.

Laura laughed and closed the door behind her, "yeah. Baby Laura was just as supportive of gender neutrality as adult Laura."

"Almost adult," Carmilla corrected.

"Whatever," Laura rolled her eyes. "Yeah, this is where I grew up. Considerably cleaner and less things on the walls these days, but yeah. It's pretty much the same."

Carmilla sat her bag down before letting herself fall onto the bed, "it's very you."

"Good or bad?" Laura asked sceptically.

"Always good."

Laura climbed into the bed next to Carmilla, turning to lie on her side, "you are good."

Carmilla laughed, "what?"

"I mean it," Laura tucked some stray hairs behind Carmilla's ear, "you are really good."

Just as Laura was leaning in to kiss Carmilla, there was a knock on the door.

"Laura? Are you decent?"

Carmilla laughed, earning herself a light punch in the arm.

"Morally, no." Laura yelled back through the door, "but we are both fully clothed if that's what you're asking."

John carefully opened the door and stuck his head in, presumably checking if it was actually safe to enter.

"Oh, good!" He fully opened the door and entered the room, "not that you can't, you know, because you totally can! That is a-OK with me! Definitely. You are both adults- consenting adults I mean, so you know, just, you know-" He was rambling on and Carmilla could definitely tell where Laura had got her nervous rambling from.

"Dad!" Laura stopped him, "we know."

"Oh… Well, good!"

He just stood there for a moment, smiling at the two of them.

Laura raised her eyebrows, "dad?"

John blinked a couple of times, looking to Laura in question before remembering why he came up to them. "Oh, right! Sorry. I just wanted to let you guys know I got a few extra things set up in your bathroom. Got an extra toothbrush for Carmilla, some extra towels and things- oh and there is an extra duvet and a couple of pillows in your closet, Laura, in case you guys need them. I didn't want to assume, so. I don't know what you prefer…" He trailed off, scratching his neck nervously.

When Laura didn't say anything, preoccupied with what Carmilla assumed was a text, Carmilla thought it would just be more awkward if no one said anything at all, which is why she decided she should do it.

"Thanks, John. I really appreciate that."

John grinned at her and nodded, "of course. Let me know if you need anything else, anything at all." When Carmilla half smiled at him he took that as a win, "alright, I'll be downstairs. Goodnight girls."

"Goodnight dad," Laura chimed in, still not looking up from her phone.

"Night," Carmilla simply said, and when John left the room she looked over at Laura who was now looking back at her with a smile on her face. "What?"

Laura shook her head, "I just love you."

Carmilla rolled her eyes but smiled and leaned in to kiss Laura regardless.

\---------------------------------------------- 

Carmilla woke to the feeling of Laura's fingers trailing through her hair the following morning, and an involuntary smile made its way to her face.

"Good morning, beautiful," Laura said happily, pecking Carmilla's cheek.

Carmilla could only groan in response, snuggling further into Laura, "too early."

"It's 9:30."

"Too early," Carmilla repeated.

Laura laughed, "fine. I'm gonna go shower," she placed a chaste kiss to Carmilla's lips then, and she could have sworn she saw a small smile appear on Carmilla's face, before making her way to the bathroom.

Carmilla, as usual, was asleep again within minutes.

\---------------------------------------------- 

The following days and mornings had all been very much perfect in every sense of the word, and as far as Carmilla was concerned, tomorrow would be just as perfect. She had the perfect gift for Laura, all wrapped up and ready. Her present to John she wasn't 100% sure about, but if there was anything she had learned from being where she was for the past few days, it was that John would most likely grin just as wide as Laura often did, regardless of what the present contained because the thought was what counted the most.

It was Christmas Eve, and after yet another wonderful meal cooked up by John, who Carmilla was beginning to see as quite the home cook, Carmilla and Laura were sat on opposite ends of the couch, their legs tanged together where they med in the middle. Carmilla was happily reading, while Laura was playing a game on her phone.

"Damnit!"

Laura's frustrated comment didn't seem to do anything to get Carmilla's attention, which usually Laura didn't mind, except now she had no more lives in her game and she had to wait 20 minutes for a new one. Ergo, she needed something to do while she waited.

"Hey," Laura said, smiling mischievously at Carmilla.

"Hmm?" Carmilla didn't look up from her book.

"Will you watch a movie with me?"

"Sure thing, cutie. What are we watching?"

Laura grinned, crawling over to Carmilla. "Well, I was thinking... Now that we've established that you are, in fact, a Twilight fan-"

"That might be pushing it," Carmilla interrupted, finally looking up to locate her bookmark before closing her book.

Laura ignored her and kept going, "I was thinking we could watch them?"

Carmilla let her head fall back and groaned.

"Oh come on, you know you want to," Laura teased.

Carmilla lifted her head again to face her, "I'm not so sure that I do. Her response made Laura pout, and that face was just too much for Carmilla. "No," Carmilla whined as she reached out and pushed Laura's face away, "don't look at me like that, the answer is no."

Laura only smiled, placing her hand over the one that was on her cheek now before turning her head ever so slightly to place a kiss to the inside of Carmilla's palm.

Sighing, Carmilla tried again, "I mean it, Laura. No Twilight."

"Fine," Laura caved in, "the movie doesn't even matter, I just want you to hold me."

A smile stretched across Carmilla's face, "what?"

"What?" Laura quickly retorted, a blush creeping up on her as she realised she had just admitted that all she wanted was for Carmilla to hold her.

"I think you just said-" Carmilla started before she was quickly interrupted by Laura's mumbling.

"I know what I said..." She spoke up before sighing heavily, "it's just that whenever we watch a movie you do this thing where you slowly move closer to me, until eventually you're close enough to bring an arm around me and so you do and I lean into it and you absently trace my skin. You do it more than I think you realise, and it drives me crazy."

Carmilla grinned and pulled Laura onto her lap, hugging her to her, "if you want me to hold you, all you have to do is ask."

"I always want you to hold me," Laura admitted, placing a kiss to Carmilla's neck where she had her face buried.

Carmilla went quiet for only a moment before she sighed internally, "alright, let's watch the sparkly vampires."

"Really?" Laura pulled back and her whole face lit up, Carmilla was honestly worried the huge grin on her face could actually damage the girl.

Carmilla nodded, "yes, let's watch Twilight."

\---------------------------------------------- 

The pair had successfully gotten through the first two movies in the saga, before Carmilla could feel Laura falling asleep. When she addressed it, however, Laura had denied it and insisted they kept going. A couple of hours later, it was Carmilla who woke with a jerk, disoriented and confused. She couldn't remember falling asleep, but she figured it must have happened almost immediately after the third movie was put on. She looked down to find Laura's head resting on her shoulder, her features looking entirely peaceful and at ease.

She tightened her hold on Laura before bringing a hand up to brush some of her hair out of her face. She carefully placed her hand on Laura's cheek, rubbing her thumb over her cheekbone while trying to rouse the girl, "Laura."

Laura stirred but didn't wake up, so Carmilla tried again, "hey," she dropped a kiss to Laura's hair, "will you open your eyes for me, please?"

Laura lifted her head and opened her eyes then, blinking sleepily. She tried to focus on Carmilla, but she was too riddled with sleep to really succeed. She blindly reached for her and gave up trying to keep her eyes open, simply snuggling closer to Carmilla instead.

Carmilla smiled, "I need you to wake up some for me."

"Hmm what is it?"

"We fell asleep on the couch," Carmilla said while combing her fingers through Laura's hair.

"'s okay."

Carmilla laughed at Laura sleepy reply, but didn't relent, "no, Laura, come on. You're back will be sore tomorrow if we stay here."

Groaning, Laura shook her head, "no."

"Yes, come on, let's go."

Laura opened one eye to peak up at Carmilla before quickly closing it again and sighing, "fine. Carry me to bed."

Carmilla scoffed, "what? Why don't _you_ carry _me_ to bed?"

"Because I'm tiny."

"Fine," Carmilla rolled her eyes but smiled none the less. She got up and stretched before placing an arm under Laura's knees and one around her back, carrying her to Laura's bedroom bridal style.

"One day we'll do this for real," Laura mumbled.

Carmilla looked down to see Laura's eyes were still closed and she looked like she was on the verge of sleep, but she still stopped, "do what?"

Laura opened her eyes and looked into Carmilla's. She reached up and weaved a hand into Carmilla's hair, coming to a halt at the back of her neck where she just held on. Smiling, she simply said, "get married or something."

Her eyes closed as soon as they had opened, and Carmilla was stood with Laura in her arms still, looking at her closed eyes. It took her a moment, but eventually she kept moving and made it to Laura's bed where she gently laid her down.

Carmilla rounded the bed and climbed in on Laura's other side with Laura immediately scooting towards her. She brought her arms around the fast asleep girl, holding her tightly. Carmilla looked out to the dimly lit room, deep in thought. She admitted to herself that marriage was something she hadn't really thought about, and it definitely caught her a bit off guard to hear Laura just drop the idea of it like she did. The idea of the two of them getting married. ... Or something. Thinking about it now though, she definitely wasn't opposed to the idea of spending all of eternity with Laura. One the contrary, Carmilla thought it might be nice.

Laura stirred in her sleep, flinging a leg over Carmilla's, now practically sleeping on top of her. For a moment, Carmilla stilled completely, suddenly terrified she might have been caught, although what she would be caught doing she wasn't entirely sure of. She quickly relaxed again, however, smiling down at Laura. She placed one last kiss into her hair before closing her own eyes, drifting off to sleep soon enough. 

\----------------------------------------------

The following morning, Laura woke up slowly, stretching out where she had all but engulfed Carmilla completely, smiling when she opened her eyes to find Carmilla still sound asleep. She sat up and furrowed her brows when she realised she was in her room all of a sudden, and not downstairs in the living room.

"How did I get here?" She whispered to no one in particular, trying hard to think about the last thing she could remember.

"I carried you."

Laura jumped when Carmilla unexpectedly answered her rhetorical question, turning her head to meet Carmilla's eyes only to find them still closed.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I am."

Laura laughed, "of course you are," she bent down and pecked Carmilla's cheek, "thank you." She was about to lay back down when she remembered, "wait! Merry Christmas!" She said excitedly."

"Still asleep," Carmilla mumbled.

"What, no! Christmas, Carmilla! Gifts are waiting to be opened, let's go."

Carmilla sighed and opened an eye to check the time, groaning loudly, "Laura, it is 7am. Go back to sleep."

"It's fine," Laura dismissed. She was practically buzzing, "come on, let's go."

"One hour," Carmilla tried to bargain.

"Right now."

Carmilla groaned again, "fifteen minutes."

"One minute."

"Ten."

"Five," Laura settled, "my final offer."

"Deal," Carmilla immediately agreed, reaching for Laura who only laughed and laid back down. Five minutes wouldn't hurt.

\---------------------------------------------- 

Five minutes had turned into a couple of hours, Laura having fallen asleep again as well. Now, the two of them were finally up and dressed, and Laura practically ran down the stairs with Carmilla slowly and tiredly making her way down after Laura.

"Carmilla, come on. You got two hours, there is literally no more time to waste! It's time for presents!"

"You are literally a child."

Laura sped past John in her haste, and he only laughed, holding out a mug with fresh coffee for Carmilla who trudged on after her.

She smiled at him in thanks before the two of them made their way into the living room after Laura who was already on the floor searching through the packages under their Christmas tree.

"Where should we start?" Laura asked excitedly, before deciding herself, "ohh, let's start with my gift to Carmilla! Here you go."

Carmilla had barely had time to sit down before she was handed her present, but she thanked her none the less. The gift was in the shape of a tube, so suffice it to say Carmilla was beyond confused. She had never really gotten presents before, but the few times she had, they were never tube shaped.

Carefully peeling off the wrapping, Carmilla was eventually holding a plastic tube, a clearly confused expression on her face. She tried to smile through it, "this is great! It's…" But she really had no idea what this was, quickly giving up the attempted first response, "what is it?"

Laura laughed, "you have to open it, dummy." She reached for the tube which Carmilla handed her, and she unscrewed the top before handing it back to Carmilla.

"Oh," laughed at herself, "I'm an idiot." She tilted the now open tube and a piece of rolled up paper slid out of it. Upon unrolling the piece of paper an image presented itself in the way shape and form of the Bride of Frankenstein movie poster, and she had no control of the current face splitting grin that was taking over her features. "Is this-"

"Original? No, unfortunately the original posters are sold for like 300,000 dollars." She rolled her eyes at the insane price, "but! This is an original copy," she wiggled her eyebrows as if it was impressive. "And it's kind of priceless because of the sentimental value attached to it."

Carmilla couldn't stop grinning. Original or not, this was incredible- "this is incredible!" She was over the moon, "it's absolutely perfect!"

"Let me have a look?" John asked, also smiling widely just from Carmilla's pure joy. When Carmilla flipped the poster around to show it off, John was honestly impressed, "that is such a good movie, isn't it? I didn't think you had seen that one?" He asked Laura.

"Well," she dragged out, "thanks to this one, I now have and I kind of loved it." John went to high five Carmilla, who, much to everyone's surprise, high fived him. Just like that.

"Good job!" John happily said to Carmilla, "I could never get her to watch it."

"Alright, nerds. Let's keep it moving."

"I think it's only fair if you open mine now," Carmilla said matter of factly.

With no protests from anyone, Laura located a present addressed to her from Carmilla. She gently shook it, pretending to listen for movement although the present was flat as an envelope and she was fairly sure she already knew what it would be. Tearing off the paper, she gasped and gingerly lifted up the comic book that was still encased in plastic wrap to keep it from getting damaged.

"Holy shit," Laura said in all her amazement, oblivious to John and Carmilla's surprised looks to hear her half swear. "The 1970 Marvel Milestone Edition reprint of Captain America Comics number 1," she whispered in disbelief, before grinning uncontrollably, "holy shit, Carmilla!"

Carmilla laughed, and gestured to Laura's lap, "there's actually more."

Laura looked at her like she was crazy before looking down to see-

"9.4 CGC rated 2nd print of Action Comics number 1!" Laura squealed then, "how in the world…?"

"Well, I know that superman is actually your favourite superhero and I believe he first appeared in the very first action comics comic," Laura nodded in confirmation. "However, an original true first edition of the first Action Comics issue is insanely pricy, and I mean like, _insane_ ," she emphasised. "I mean that comic sold for like 50 cents when it was first released which is maybe 2 dollars today, and yet people sell that stuff for thousands of dollars! While researching I actually learned that the very first Action Comics issue is the most valuable comic to date. That's insane. I also learned that it was reprinted in 1974, and that was my window of opportunity." She gestured to the Captain America comic, "but since I couldn't get you what I really _really_ wanted to get you, I settled on the next best thing, which was two second print copies of the first issues of your two very favourite heroes." When she finished explaining, she quickly added, "well, besides your absolute favourite hero sitting right here, because obviously you already have me and you can't gift something twice, right?"

John snorted then, making them all laugh.

"I love this. Thank you," Laura said as the laughter died down, quickly pecking Carmilla's cheek making her blush just barely.

"Alright, John," Carmilla said in an uncharacteristically excited manner, even clapping her hands together. "Are you ready to join us in our euphoric happiness?" John only raised his eyebrows, so Carmilla reached past Laura for a bigger box that was addressed to Mr Hollis from Carmilla, "here. Merry Christmas."

"Oh, wow! This is already too much, I can tell. You didn't have to get me anything."

Carmilla dismissed him with a wave, "open it."

And open it he did. He first saw the picture on the box, and that alone was enough to make him grin.

"Laura once told me a story about a certain David Bowie song being part of your morning routine, but when I asked her about your music any further she just mentioned an old iPod and it kind of started and stopped right there. But!" she added optimistically, "I figured if you could appreciate the magic of David Bowie and, as I just recently learned, classic movies like Frankenstein, a record player would be essential."

John discarded the wrapping paper entirely, opening the box to pull out one of those suitcase record players.

"Oh if this doesn't take me back to the good old days," John murmured.

"Careful dad," Laura teased, looking at Carmilla, "don't get into a too heated argument with Carmilla now. She can be a bit musically elitist."

"What? No I'm not."

"Oh, but you are," Laura nodded.

Carmilla made a dismissive pfft noise, "just because I don't want some collection consisting of All You Need is Love and 500 other songs to kill myself to, that doesn't make me elitist."

"Musically elitist," Laura corrected her. She placed a comforting hand on Carmilla's thigh, "but it's okay. You're a little bit particular about your music, but that's absolutely okay."

"Wait, you don't like the Beatles?" John asked confused, "they are essential to life!"

"Nono," Carmilla was quick to jump in, "I'm not criticising the Beatles, I'm criticising one song they have that makes me want to kill myself. The Beatles are spectacular!" Before anyone could say anything, she threw in a, "mostly."

John thought for a moment before simply shrugging, "alright, I guess I can live with that." He set the suitcase aside, studying the records Carmilla had given alongside the record player itself. There was David Bowie, of course, Queen, Fleetwood Mac, The Back to the Future original soundtrack and a couple of other movie soundtrack albums- "what, no America?"

Carmilla was visibly taken aback then, " _America?_ " She said the word almost with disgust.

"Oh, come on. You can't possibly deny the fact that Hearts is one of the best albums of the 70's."

Carmilla scoffed, "I definitely can, and I definitely am. Hearts is a disgrace to the 70's, an era otherwise filled with some of the finest music to date. I mean, ELO, Toto, Kansas-"

"Elton John, Deep Purple, Journey-"

"Journey?" Carmilla asked, shocked.

"The Rolling Stones, Dire Straits, Aerosmith-"

"Billy Joel, Chicago, T. Rex… You know, I'll even go as far as to say that Led Zeppelin's probably best era was the 70's. And I'll even push it a little bit and include Hall and Oates here." Carmilla ended their collaborated list, "but again, I must ask. _Journey?_ "

"Yes, Journey!" John exclaimed, "I know their absolute best was the early 80's, but you can't ignore the early hits."

"Oh, let me guess. You're a Don't Stop Believin' man, aren't you?"

"Who isn't?" John asked shocked, "Don't Stop Believin' is the era's most inspirational song."

Carmilla huffed, "oh please. Just the unlikelihood that there is, in fact, a 'midnight train going _anywhere_ ' makes the song completely irrelevant trash. You want inspirational? Billy Joel, Pink Floyd, even Kansas for that! But for the love of God, not _Journey_."

John feigned hurt, "how dare you? Don't Sto-"

"Alright!" Laura finally broke in, "you're both music snobs, I get it. Let's move on, please."

John and Carmilla both laughed before John gathered himself enough to say, "honestly, Carmilla, this is too much." She dismissed him with a wave of her hand again, "thank you."

"You are very welcome."

A comfortable silence settles over the room, Laura looking at Carmilla like she was the best thing in the world, Carmilla looking back to her with an expression saying she was trying to decipher Laura's look, all the while John was looking at the pair with a knowing smile playing on his lips.

Clearing his throat, John reached for a present before holding it out to Carmilla, "here." At Carmilla's confused expression, he laughed, "it's like you've never experienced Christmas. It's for you," he gestured, "please."

Carmilla took it, unwrapping it carefully to find five books held together with string so as to not fall everywhere when she opened it, Carmilla assumed.

"I was told you were into philosophy, and you read a lot of Camus?"

Carmilla only nodded, still looking at the books in her lap.

"Well, I kind of assumed you had all of his work then, so I just got you a few different ones, didn't know what else you would like so I just went for everything kind of. You know, playing it safe," John laughed.

"Thank you," Carmilla said in the most genuine tone she could muster.

"Merry Christmas, Carmilla."

Carmilla smiled back at him before turning to Laura, "your dad is pretty great."

Laura laughed and pecked her cheek before looking over to her dad, smiling, "he sure is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really only the beginning of the next few chapters that will follow, so if the ending there was a bit weird that's just because that was the best place I found to break things up. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	14. Should I be worried?

After opening presents the day had gone by almost in a flurry. Carmilla and Laura had helped John with the cooking, although Laura had not been allowed by either of her fellow cooks to work with any potentially dangerous utensils due to her general whimsiness, and following dinner they had all sat down in the living room to see what Christmas movies would be repeated this year as every other year.

In the middle of It's a Wonderful Life Carmilla's phone had gone off, and she had quickly  excused herself, only answering it when she was out of earshot in the kitchen.

"Brother," she said coolly, although she was currently smiling.

"Merry Christmas!" Will exclaimed through the phone.

Carmilla laughed, "Merry Christmas, Will."

"So," he dragged out, "how are things? How is Laura?"

"Things are good," Carmilla shyly responded, "things are really good. Laura is great. And her dad is pretty great, too, actually."

Will gasped, "can it be- no. There's no way. You actually like a parent?"

Carmilla rolled her eyes at that, "maybe."

"You totally do!" Will said happily, his grin apparent in his voice, "you are so happy right now."

"I am," Carmilla admitted before the line went silent for a moment. When she felt the silence had lasted long enough, she cleared her throat, "how is Christmas with the bro's?"

"Oh, come on," Will whined. "I heard the disgusted face you made when you said that- and I heard the eyeroll you just gave me through the phone just now!" Will laughed again, "it's good. It's nice. No drama."

"Yet," Carmilla said, unable to help herself.

"Right, yet… They're good people, Carmilla."

"I know," she said as if it were nothing. "You're a smart kid, Will. I trust you have good people in your life."

Will nodded, thinking for a moment before sighing. "Should we call her?"

Carmilla furrowed her brows at that, "Will, no."

"I just- I don't know. It's Christmas!"

"Why do everyone keep saying that like it means anything," Carmilla grumbled. Although if she was being honest, she was glad the holiday wasn't ruined for her little brother.

"Because it does," Will tried, "because to a lot of people it's not so bad."

Carmilla didn't answer. Partially because she just didn't want to, and partially because what was she supposed to say?

"It's Christmas," Will repeated, "and she's alone."

"Good."

"I'm gonna call her."

"Fine." Carmilla huffed, "it's your funeral."

Will groaned in frustration, "she wants you to call her."

"I know you can't actually see me, but you should know that there is nothing in my face right now that would make you think that I would want that."

"Carmilla." Will's voice was suddenly a lot more serious that it had been, "no offence, but-"

"Yes, what is this flattering thing you are about to say?"

"You're an ass," he said flatly. "It's Christmas, call your mother."

Carmilla gave it some serious thought before she huffed loudly, "fine, whatever."

"Great!" Will was back to his chipper self now, "because I talked to her before I called you and she's waiting."

"Will!"

"Okay, bye! Say hi to Laura and her dad!"

And with that, Will hung up the phone on his end while Carmilla was stood in shock, still holding her phone to her ear.

"Fucker," she muttered to herself when she shook herself out of the small shock. She went into her contacts and quickly found her mother's number listed under her full name. Carmilla briefly wondered if it was normal to save a parent's contact under their full name rather than something generic like 'mom', or if she was the only one. She caught herself procrastinating then, and decided it would be best to just get it over with. Taking a deep breath, Carmilla's thumb hoovered over the call button for only a moment before she shut her eyes tightly and pressed it. 

It was a couple of rings before anyone picked up, but when another voice came through from the other end of the phone, Carmilla unconsciously straightened up and patted her not even messy hair.

"Mother," she greeted with a cold automatic voice, wasting no time getting to the point, "Merry Christmas."

"Carmilla, dear, it's so good to hear from you!"

Carmilla knew that tone, she recognised it instantly and decided to end her suffering early.

"What is it?"

"Oh, sweetie, don't interrupt your mother, it simply isn't polite."

Carmilla huffed, "I didn't eve-"

"Carmilla, hush."

Mrs. Karnstein's voice was cold and harsh, and Carmilla couldn't help but try to swallow the lump in her throat, doing what was asked of her.

"Well," her mother started, "that's better, isn't it."

It wasn't phrased like a question, so Carmilla remained silent.

"I need you to come home tomorrow."

"What?" Carmilla was beyond confused, but she knew she had no intentions of going back to her mother's tomorrow, "no."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Carmilla tried to remain calm, "I said no."

Mrs. Karnstein laughed coldly, "Carmilla, stop acting like a child. Your presence is required for this years new years eve party. I am hosting, and I would like our family to be presented properly."

"I can't."

"Oh, but darling you can bring your little girlfriend if that's the problem. I suppose it wouldn't be the worst thing."

"NO!" Carmilla yelped, "No." She thought about this for a moment, looking for the best possible way to go about this and considering all the possible outcomes. In the end, she sighed and shook her head at herself. "I can be there in a few days. I will stay for the party, and I will play along with whatever plan you have for the night, but the moment that house is empty again I'm gone."

"Wonderful!" Mrs. Karnstein said happily, "I will make sure everything is ready for you and, uhm, Laura, was it?"

"No," Carmilla said firmly. "Just me."

"Even better."

"Goodbye, mother," Carmilla said before abruptly ending their conversation by hanging up the phone. She sighed heavily and took a seat in one of the empty chairs around the table, placing her head in her hands wondering what in the world she had just agreed to do. And what for? Why didn't she just say no? She supposed it was because no matter how much Carmilla hated the woman, she was still her mother. Even if that wasn't the reason, Carmilla thought it should be, so she settled for it.

"Everything okay?" Laura carefully asked, placing a hand on Carmilla's back.

Lifting her head then, Carmilla could feel the tears burning behind her eyes, but she was determined to put up a good front. She smiled weakly up at Laura, "yeah, fine."

"Was that Will?"

Carmilla didn't say anything, having already spaced out again. She just kept looking dead ahead into the unknown.

"Your mother…?" Laura tried when she didn't get a response, recognising the lost look Carmilla was currently sporting. When Carmilla still made no indication she was paying attention, Laura lightly squeezed her shoulder to bring her back.

Carmilla blinked a couple of times before catching up, "oh! Uhh yes." She stood up then and pecked Laura cheek, "I'm gonna go to bed. It's getting late, and I'm pretty tired."

"Oh," Laura didn't even try to hide her disappointment, "that's okay. I'll be up in a minute."

Receiving another weak half-hearted smile in response, Laura could only watch on as Carmilla made her way out of the room, her shoulders slumped and her head hung low. Sighing, she walked back into the living room where her dad was still watching the movie.

John looked to his daughter with a confused expression when Carmilla hadn't followed her, and when Laura only sat down without so much as a glance or a word in his directions he furrowed his brows.

"Hey," he tried to get Laura's attention, "should I be worried?"

"What?" Laura said, genuinely confused.

"Should I be worried? Carmilla's phone goes off, she practically runs away, and then you come back all mopey."

"Oh," Laura mumbled, "right." When she didn't elaborate, John gestured for her to please explain, "oh, no! No, she says she's fine." John nodded, but he didn't have time to say anything, before Laura went off, "it's just her mom is kind of a raging bitch, you know?"

John laughed then, "alright. Are you sure everything is OK?"

"What do you mean?"

He sighed, "I mean she talked to her mom on the phone, right?" Laura nodded, "and she says she's 'fine'." Laura was only looking at her dad, so he sighed, "but she still walks off alone…"

Laura sighed and leaned her head back on the couch, shrugging slightly, "I don't know, dad. I mean, she said she was fine?"

"You don't sound so sure."

Laura let out a whine and looked at her dad, silently begging him to tell her what to do.

"All I'm saying," John started, reaching over to place a hand over his daughters, "is that a lot of people say that they're fine when they're not."

Laura nodded and looked away before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, "I should go."

John laughed and patted Laura's hand, "yes, you should. I'll be here if you need me."

"Thanks dad," she flashed him a smile before making her way upstairs to Carmilla.

\----------------------------------------------

Carmilla had trudged on upstairs, letting herself into Laura's room. She sat down on the bed, shutting her eyes tightly while shaking her head. She would not cry, her mother was not worth a single one of her tears. Unable to make everything stop, she let out a shaky breath and just let the tears fall. Barely a minute passed before she stood up suddenly, making her way into the bathroom where she turned the shower on. She needed a distraction, and the sound of the running water in the shower drumming on her head, inevitably making the rest of the world fade into a vague murmur seemed like a good place to start. If she was being honest, Carmilla felt stupid. Thinking she could ever have a nice Christmas. That was unheard of, unlikely, not possible. Why had she thought this year would be different? Laura was great- perfect in every way. But in the end, her mother would come back to haunt her. All the memories of her past would continue to sucker punch her at every turn. Impossible to escape.

She stared blankly at the running water for another moment before feeing herself breaking. Her breathing was shaky, becoming uncontrollable, and she was scared her legs might give out. She lowered herself to the floor, taking a seat with her back resting against the tub. Pulling her legs up close to her chest, as she often did when she felt like she needed to disappear. Keeping her eyes closed and her mind focused on the sound of the running water behind her, she managed to feel as if she partially disappeared, if only for a moment, hearing nothing but the water and her inner thoughts.

Carmilla only reacted when the sound of the water suddenly stopped and a hand was placed on her arm. Looking up, she found Laura knelt down in front of her. She wasn't looking at her with pity, or irritation, or even questions. It seemed as if she was genuinely worried, and although the sight was a relatively new one for Carmilla in a moment like this, it was very much welcomed.

Laura held her arms out, "c'mere," and Carmilla immediately lunged forwards into the safety of her arms.

"I need to leave," Carmilla mumbled into Laura's neck after a moment. "Mother needs me home for her new years eve party I guess."

"What?" Laura asked, clearly surprised for a moment before she furrowed her brows in anger, "but you can't do that. I mean you're here, right? You don't have to- you shouldn't go- you- I mean- don't- don't go. Stay. Please."

Carmilla pulled back slightly and huffed, "I can't just not go."

"Sure you can!"

"She made it very clear I was to be there," Carmilla said, sighing when Laura pouted at her. "It's just for new years eve. It's just for a day. Two, tops."

Laura scoffed, "are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

"Both."

"Well, I don't need convincing. This is a bad idea and you know it." She gently caressed Carmilla's cheek, "don't go."

"I think I have to," Carmilla sighed.

"No, you don't! You are an adult. Technically, you don't have to do anything, because you are your own person. Perfectly capable of making your own decisions."

Carmilla looked at her then, and Laura thought she was actually really thinking about it until Carmilla only sighed again.

"It's just for a day," Carmilla repeated. "One night."

Laura shook her head and let out a breathy laugh, "I feel like she's completely manipulated you into feeling like you deserve this." Carmilla remained silent, so Laura added, "she's abusive."

Carmilla shook her head, "I can handle her."

"But you shouldn't have to," Laura simply said, pulling Carmilla back into a hug and dropping a kiss to her hair. "I don't like this."

Carmilla just kept nodding into Laura's shoulder, "I know."

\----------------------------------------------

It was a lot of back and forth between the two, but they had eventually moved from the bathroom floor to Laura's bed, where Carmilla had almost immediately curled in on herself, only slightly relaxing when Laura wrapped her arms around her. It didn't take long before Carmilla was fast asleep after having cried herself to sleep, completely exhausted. Laura had stayed with her for a few moments even after Carmilla had clearly fallen asleep. Her thoughts were a mess, and she was angry.

When Laura felt her own tears pushing from the back of her eyes, she carefully unwrapped herself from Carmilla, placing a light kiss to her temple, before she made her way downstairs. She went straight for the kitchen, getting a glass out of the cupboard to get some water.

"I'm fine," she told herself when she felt tears welling up in her eyes again, placing both hands flat on the counter in front of her and closing her eyes. "I need to worry about Carm, I am completely fine."

She shook her head as the tears in her eyes threatened to fall and hung her head between her shoulders. She breathed in deeply before she felt a warm hand on her back.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Let it out."

Laura finally let out the sob she'd been holding in, turning around to hug her father, feeling somewhat calmer when he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She buried her face in his chest, unable to stop crying now that she had started.

"I know," John sympathised, "I know."

"She said she needs to go home for some dumb new years eve party her mom is hosting. Something about the family presentation or something, I don't know." She pulled back from the hug to look at her father, "she can't go back there, dad. She just can't."

John rubbed his hand soothingly up and down his daughters back, "Carmilla is a big girl. She will be OK."

"But what happens when she's not?" Laura half yelled, frustrated by the situation and her lack of control over it. "You don't understand," she took breathed in deeply. "Dad, that lady is terrible- horrible even! She is pure evil." She looked her dad right in the eye as she said the next part, hoping with everything she could that he would understand, "she's not nice with Carmilla."

John nodded in understanding and dropped a kiss to the top of Laura's head, "unfortunately she is also still her mother, and Carmilla is technically an adult. She's free to do as she wishes I suppose."

Laura sighed and buried her face in her father's chest again, "I don't know what to do. I don't want her to go."

"You do what you always do," John said simply. "You're there for her. No matter what."

\----------------------------------------------

It was a couple of days later, and the day before Carmilla was set to leave, when Laura requested a trip to the mall. The day following Carmilla's call with her mother and the not so great news she then received had been spent mostly in bed, both Carmilla and Laura being bummed out. Laura had attempted to lift their spirits, but it was all to no avail. Therefore, they had both been sulking in bed, John occasionally sticking his head through the door to make sure they were both alive, bringing comforting cookies and food when needed.

Today, however, Carmilla's apparent inability to deny Laura any of her wishes had her now trailing after her as they walked through store after store, Laura picking up anything and everything she thought might be nice. Despite Carmilla's many sighs and groans, though, she wasn't actually having the worst time of her life, and when she looked up in the next store Laura had stepped into things were looking even better.

Carmilla nearly bumped into Laura who had come to a full stop just inside the store, and she was about to glare at her when she realised they were in a record store. Instead of glaring, she turned to grin hugely over at Laura who only smiled back and gave her a small nudge.

"Your turn to go a little crazy now."

Pulling on the hand in hers, Carmilla tugged Laura to her and pecked her lips, "thank you," before she walked further into the store.

She started flipping through albums, picking up a couple along the way, and glancing over at Laura every now and then to grin at her. Laura even tried to suggest a few albums in good faith, but Carmilla always just laughed and turned them down. She supposed this was fair enough, considering not even she owned the beauty and the beast soundtrack it might be unrealistic to expect Carmilla to do so. Carmilla had, however, seemed to consider it briefly when Laura had reminded her that it was that very moment that had perhaps brought them together in the first place. She suggested it therefore had sentimental value, making it worth having, but Carmilla simply smiled and said no again.

When they walked out of the store, Carmilla having bought three new albums, she reached for Laura's hand with her own to intertwine them. She squeezed lightly and let Laura take the lead again as they walked onwards.

"Is there anything else you want to look at? Like any books or anything...?" Laura looked over at Carmilla when she asked, but she was shaking her head no. "Okay. I think I'm done too, shall we leave?"

"Yes, please."

On their way to the car, Laura looked around and spotted just the place to take Carmilla to next. She stopped and tugged on the hand in hers, and Carmilla looked over to her to find her grinning widely and staring ahead. When Carmilla followed her line of sight she couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"An arcade?" She questioned, looking back to Laura's still grinning face. When Laura only nodded, Carmilla sighed and rolled her eyes, still smiling, before gesturing for Laura to lead the way.

\----------------------------------------------

After Laura had lost every game they played, except one round of air hockey she would not let up about, she announced her hunger after felling as if her stomach was "eating itself up from the inside" so they made their way back home. John was more than happy to see their moods had improved considerably, so he insisted he be the one to cook up their dinner, and while Carmilla was reluctant, insisting she should at least help because he had already been so great with her being there, Laura had eventually managed to drag her away and leave her father to it.

When their plates were cleared, Carmilla thanked John for the food before excusing herself. She pecked Laura's cheek and let her know she was taking a shower before disappearing around the corner, Laura smiling after her. John had made some comment about Laura being smitten, and much to her own surprise, Laura hadn't even wanted to argue.

When Carmilla came out of the bathroom connected to Laura's room sometime later, she found Laura sat on the bed with a laptop in her lap and her brows furrowed in concentration as she read something.

"What's up?" Carmilla said as moved to the dresser to get one of Laura's comfy oversized t-shirts.

Laura shut the computer faster than Carmilla had ever seen her do anything before, shaking her head, "nothing."

Carmilla looked at her with an expression that clearly said 'try again', but Laura chose to ignore it, setting aside the laptop.

With a sudden realisation, Carmilla smirked to herself and pulled a shirt over her head before casually asking, "were you watching porn?"

The shocked expression on Laura's face told Carmilla that she wasn't lying when she shook her head like never before.

"What, no! No, I was not. Why would I do that?" When Carmilla only looked at her, Laura rolled her eyes, "I'm serious." She got up on her knees and crawled over to the foot of the bed to where Carmilla was currently standing, still looking down at her with a smirk. Looping her arms around Carmilla's neck, she brought her down to a sweet kiss, "I have the real thing right here."

"Right…" Carmilla sounded unconvinced, "I'm finding it very hard to believe that." She pulled back and rounded the bed, sitting down next to Laura. She reached over her for the computer that was sat at Laura's nightstand, only to have Laura snatch it up before her.

"NO," Laura hugged it close to her chest while swatting off Carmilla's prying hands.

"You said it was nothing. If it's nothing why can't I just have a look?" Carmilla was grinning now, she was definitely having fun.

"Because- You don't- I was-" Laura tried to think before she talked next, "because it's nothing why would you even need to see it?"

"Because it's clearly not nothing, making it a definitive something," Carmilla said just as she managed to grip the computer just right to get it from Laura, "YES. I win," she stuck her tongue out at Laura before settling the thing on her lap.

"Wait," Laura put a hand over Carmilla's that was about to open the computer. She took a breath, "just… I don't know, don't freak out."

Carmilla raised her eyebrows in question, but still went on the open the computer. She let out a small laugh when she skimmed the page, "apartments. You were looking at apartments."

Laura nodded guiltily.

"Why would I freak out about this? You're allowed to look for places to live, didn't you say LaFontaine was going to move out when your lease was up in a few months anyway?"

Again, Laura just nodded.

Handing Laura the computer back, open this time, Carmilla couldn't help herself, "if you're this secretive about apartment hunting I can't imagine what you'd have done if I caught you actually watching porn." When Laura didn't laugh, Carmilla saw her actively trying to avoid meeting her eyes. She nudged her gently, placing a hand over Laura's, "hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Laura started, "nothing is wrong…" She trailed off, not really knowing what to say. She put the computer down again, buying herself some time. She supposed she did actually know what to say, just not what the best way to say it was, so instead of overthinking it, she just took a breath before meeting Carmilla's eyes, "I was just kind of looking for an apartment for the both of us…"

Carmilla furrowed her brows, "you don't like my place?"

Laughing, Laura shook her head, "no, I do! I do. I just, I was thinking. LaF will finally be moving in with Perry like they avoided last year because they didn't want to inconvenience me by leaving me with our flat alone, I definitely can't afford to keep living there without them. I don't want to ask you to move in to take their place or to move into someone else's home because I feel like you might not feel entirely at home if that were to happen, and I didn't want to assume I could just move in to your current place. I was just thinking, that because I have to move regardless, maybe you would want to move with me…? To the same place. To live. With me. Somewhere that will be home for the both of us."

Carmilla froze, staring off into the room. Needless to say she had thought about this a number of times, living with Laura that is. She wanted this, she knew she did. Yet, something inside of her told her that this was a bad idea. Something was telling her that this was not the right thing, it was not going to be the best thing to happen to Laura as it would be to her.

Shaking her head lightly, Carmilla looked down, "you deserve so much better than me."

"You know that's not true," Laura said, squeezing Carmilla's hand lightly.

"I'm not good enough."

Laura reached up to guide Carmilla to meet her eyes. When she did, she wiped away a tear that had involuntarily made its way down Carmilla's cheek, "do you know what?" Carmilla shook her head, "if I know one thing, it is that in order to get anywhere in life, you have got to stop listening to yourself."

Carmilla smiled then, "I feel like that cannot possibly be true."

"Sure it is," Laura said, absently caressing Carmilla's cheek still while looking at her as if she was everything. "I'm being serious, you know," she tried carefully while looking Carmilla dead in the eye, "I want this."

Carmilla was quiet for a moment before she sighed and broke eye contact again, "Laura-" 

"I know what you're going to say," Laura immediately interrupted. "You are going to tell me something like 'Laura, I don't know about this. You might think you want this, but when it's actually happening you might not actually want it after all. Because I am just a bottomless pit of darkness and negativity and all bad things, and you deserve so much more than me, so much better, so much more happiness' and blahblahblah." Carmilla was looking at her with raised eyebrows and a smile threatening to break out on her lips, "but that's not true," Laura finished.

"Well, actually-" Carmilla tried again, only to be stopped again.

"I don't expect an answer right now." She sighed, "I just really wish you would at least think about it."

"I have thought about it," Carmilla silently admitted, "I mean I can barely sleep without you, of course I've thought about it." Laura smiled at her and squeezed her hand before she continued, "I get a little bit unreliable now and then, like you've witnessed. I just- I get lost sometimes, and I handle just about everything completely wrong. I have up days and down days, sometimes up weeks and down weeks. Some days I can't stand the idea of having to interact with other humans, and sometimes I just don't. And I guess people just get tired of me… My point here is that I'm not easy."

Before Carmilla had the chance to say anything else, Laura smiled widely and just shook her head lightly, "I don't care about easy," she started. "I don't care that sometimes you don't want to talk, or that some days are down days or weeks…" She smirked before adding, "and you know I don't tire easily," making Carmilla laugh before she looked at her with all the emotion she could muster up, simply adding, "I just want you."

"You do?" Carmilla raised her eyebrows in surprise, but Laura just nodded, leaning down to peck her lips.

"I do," she smiled, "always."

A smile slowly spread across Carmilla's face then, "okay."

"Okay?" Laura was practically buzzing then, and when Carmilla nodded in confirmation Laura pressed her lips firmly to Carmilla's, "awesome!"

Carmilla was smiling back at Laura just a widely when they pulled apart, and she tucked some stray hair behind Laura's ear before placing a sweet tender kiss to her lips again.

"I think that when I am with you," Laura whispered with her forehead to Carmilla's when she pulled back, "I am just about the best version there is of me."

"Oh, be still, my beating heart!" Carmilla joked.

"Shut up."

"No measure of time with you," Carmilla started, seeing a wide smile slowly appear on Laura's face as she continued, "will be long enough. But we'll start with forever."

"Now look who's quoting Twilight," Laura said softly.

"You make me want to quote Twilight at you."

Laura couldn't help but laugh then, and Carmilla soon joined in and the two of them laid down with laugher surrounding them, only calming down after a good few minutes.

Lying on their backs, Carmilla turned her head to look at Laura before simply stating, "I love you."

Smiling, Laura turned her head to look back to Carmilla, "I love you too."

\----------------------------------------------

The following morning was when Carmilla was set to leave, going to her mother's where she would stay until new years eve for the party her mother had requested she attend.

"I don't think you should leave," Laura said from where her face was buried in the nook of Carmilla's neck. They had been hugging for what had to have been the last five minutes, Laura was refusing to let Carmilla go.

"I will be completely OK."

"No," Laura whined, "I have a feeling."

Carmilla let out a short laugh, "everyone has feelings, this is not news."

"No, I have a bad feeling is what I'm saying." Laura pulled back ever so slightly to look Carmilla in the eye, "don't go."

Carmilla sighed and leaned her forehead against Laura's, "I will be back before you know it and we'll go back to our not-so-fun university lives and we'll find a great apartment, and things will be good. Really good."

Laura closed the small distance between them to kiss Carmilla deeply, only pulling back when the need for air became too strong.

"You'll call me the moment you get there?"

Carmilla nodded, "I will call you before I even enter the house." 

"Good. You'll stay safe? If something is brewing you get out, do you hear me? You don't stir the pot, and she doesn't as much as lay a finger on you." When Carmilla nodded, Laura kept going, "and I am only a phone call or a text message away."

"I will call you when I get there, I will stay safe, I will constantly be in conversation with you," Carmilla repeated. "Everything will be OK."

Laura sighed and hugged Carmilla to her again, "if she hurts you, I swear to God…"

"I know," Carmilla nodded, "I know."

The two of them finally pulled apart completely, and Carmilla climbed into the truck. She started her up and rolled down the window.

"Carmilla! Hang on a second!" John hurried out the door and down the front steps. He came up to Carmilla's window and passed her a piece of paper. "My cell number," he said nervously, "just, you know, just if you need anything at all, day or night, just give me a call. Even if you just want to talk. About, well, things and what not. Being home and everything. If you need a lift, just- you know what? If everything becomes a little to much, just give me a call."

Carmilla didn't really know what to say, so she looked past John to meet Laura's eyes, hoping she could help her out, but Laura seemed to be too busy with her heart bursting or something from what her dad had just done.

"That's, uhh, that's very considerate," Carmilla tried. She wasn't entirely happy with it though, so she tried to correct herself, "I mean, it's just very nice. It's probably way more than I deserve. Thank you."

John smiled proudly then, and brought an arm around Laura, "stay safe, Carmilla. We'll see you in a couple of days."

Carmilla nodded and backed out of the driveway, waving at the two of them one last time before she drove off into the distance.


	15. I'm Sorry

Driving through the gates on the short road that lead up to the Karnstein mansion, Carmilla felt the hairs raising at the back of her neck. She was still unsure about coming here, but of all the scenarios she played through in her mind before, this is the one with the best ending. All she had to do was whatever her mother asked of her for the next 48 hours, and everything would be OK. As OK as things could be all things considered. On the bright side, Will had let her know he would be coming, so that put her mind somewhat at ease. Some guy named Kirsch had offered to drive him up there, and Carmilla suspected she might be more grateful for it than Will would be, but at least she wouldn't be alone with her mother.

She parked and killed the engine before reaching for her phone. She quickly found Laura's number and pressed call.

"Is everything okay?" Laura asked, practically having picked up the phone before it started ringing.

Carmilla laughed, grabbing her bag and getting out of the car.

"Yes, everything is fine."

Laura let out a breath of relief, "good. How was the drive?"

"It was fine. Boring. Quiet. Kind of cold…"

"You know," Laura started smugly, "it's easier to just say you miss me."

Carmilla rolled her eyes, "fine. I might have missed you a little bit."

"Well I miss you a lot. Can't you just come back? I mean you've been there, so now you can come back."

Carmilla sighed and opened her mouth to answer, but as she did, Will opened the door and grinned at her. Carmilla turned her back to him, hastily ending the phone call.

"I have to go. I'll call you later," she lowered the phone, not planning on waiting for a response, before holding it back to her ear for a final, "I love you and I miss you and I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow?" Will said as he made his way over to Carmilla.

"Yeah, except mother mentioned a family dinner I needed to be present for tonight, so here I am."

Will laughed and hugged Carmilla, grabbing the bag in her hand.

"Well, I, for one, am glad you're early. She's acting a little…"

When Will didn't complete his thoughts Carmilla thought she'd give him a hand, "crazy?"

"That's the word."

When they entered the mansion, Carmilla was greeted by her mother with a cold hello and a stiff hug before she was off again. Carmilla looked at Will, who only shrugged, before she nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen.

"Christmas with the Brady Bunch not enough for you?" Carmilla said, grabbing an apple from the impeccable fruit bowl on the counter.

"Ha-ha… Always so funny. Christmas has been great actually," he said proudly, "and I'm pretty sure yours has been pretty great too."

When Will raised his eyebrows suggestively, Carmilla couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Not that it's any of your business, but yes." She tried to keep a straight face, but broke almost immediately. "It's been amazing actually. Laura got me the Bride of Frankenstein poster-"

Will gasped, "an original one?"

"What, no! That costs a fortune."

"I don't know, maybe she's rich! I've met her like twice," he defended.

"No, not an original one. But," she dragged out with a grin, "an original copy!"

"What? No way, that's like your favourite!"

"I know."

"Wow, she really loves you-" Will interrupted himself with another gasp and a huge grin, "and you must really love her if she knows about your nerdy obsession with Bride of Frankenstein and the classics!"

Carmilla huffed, "I am not a nerd, I am badass."

"You can be both," Will calmed her down, "and you didn't say no, which means you do!"

Carmilla hushed him frantically then, "shut up, Will! I don't want-"

"Carmilla," mrs Karnstein's voice came from the doorway, "dial it down. Everybody can see your feelings. None of this tomorrow night."

"Of course, mother."

Mrs Karnstein looked at her with narrowed eyes for a moment before announcing, "Dinner will be served at 7."

Just like that, she was gone as quickly as she came, and Carmilla let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding.

"See what I mean?" Will tried.

Carmilla only shuddered, shaking her head as she, too, left the room.

\----------------------------------------------

It was 6:58 and Carmilla was practically running through the house. Sure, she had deliberately waited until the last possible second to make her way downstairs for dinner, but she really hadn't meant to be _this_ late. It was just that she had been in the middle of a heated text debate with Laura, and she had momentarily forgotten the concept of time all together. They were talking about Inception. More specifically, the ending. While Laura was sure Cobb was still dreaming when the movie ended, Carmilla was trying to convince her he wasn't.

Carmilla: It's so obvious! The top starts to wobble, therefore he is awake.

Laura: But it never actually stops, so we can't know that for sure.

Carmilla: Sure we can! If it was a dream the top would have spun until the end of days completely still, completely perfectly. It wouldn't stop or even think about stopping until the world either ended or Cobb died.

Laura: But it never actually stops!

Carmilla: Stop. You are blowing this thing out of proportion. You're reacting to this how the internet reacts to ambiguity, there's screeching and violent explosions.

Laura: I think you might just be UNDER reacting actually. Because you're wrong.

It was then that Carmilla had glanced at the clock on her nightstand, eyes widening in horror before she jumped up and started running, her phone far left behind.

"It's not 7! I'm not late," Carmilla announced, still trying to catch her breath.

While Will couldn't help but laugh, their mother seemed less impressed.

"Sit," she simply said, smiling in satisfaction when Carmilla did so without a word.

Following this, dinner went by relatively pain free. Carmilla had kept her head down, only spoke when spoken to, and even then her answers were sub par. They were non-answers if anything, empty words to satisfy her mother. She had smiled at Will when he had talked about anything at all, and in the end, things had gone OK. No harm done. It was when the last plate was removed from the table that Carmilla got worried.

Will suddenly placed a small Christmas wrapped box with a bright red bow on it on the table, pushing it towards their mother.

"Merry Christmas, mom," he smiled at her.

Mrs Karnstein just looked at the little wrapped box with a raised eyebrow and an unimpressed look, until eventually she sighed and rolled her eyes, grabbing it off the table. After unwrapping it and opening the box, it revealed a necklace with a little silver heart pendant.

After looking at it in distaste for a moment, she turned to Will and flatly said, "thanks."

Carmilla sighed, unable to stay out of this. "Come on. Can’t you just pretend to like it? Like a normal person?”

“You do not talk to your mother like that,” was spat back at Carmilla before mrs Karnstein turned to Will with a smile, “it’s lovely dear, really. Thank you.” She got up and gently kissed his cheek before leaving the room. 

Will looked down and mumbled, “stupid.” 

“Hey, no,” Carmilla was quick to say, “no. That was really great, Will.” 

He scoffed and looked at her, “great? She hates it.” 

“She hates everything.”

“That’s not good enough,” he said angrily. “Not even close.” 

“Hey, come on. She doesn’t know any better, she’s not even human.” 

“She’s our mom.” 

“She gave birth to us, sure, but that woman is not a mother, Will. She’s a bitch.”

Will sighed again, “why do I even try? I know you’re right.” 

Carmilla reaches for his hand and gave it a light squeeze, “sometimes, when you’re not getting the love that you want from someone, giving makes you think you will.” 

“I just wish it wasn’t like this, you know?”

“I know,” she nodded, “I know.” 

Will then stood up and excused himself, placing a soft kiss to Carmilla’s temple as he did so before heading upstairs to his room. 

Carmilla let out a heavy sigh then and let her head fall. At least that dinner wasn’t a complete disaster, she’s been through much worse. What kept her going now was knowing that after tomorrow night she was free to go back to Laura.

“So I’m a bitch now am I?”

Carmilla’s head spun so fast she should have gotten whiplash, and her eyes were wide in terror. 

“I don’t know why you have to be like this, Carmilla. Always so difficult. Always so rude... I genuinely do not know where it all comes from. Your rage and hatred. I certainly raised you better than this, didn’t I? You are just a lost cause.”

Carmilla felt a chill run down her spine and her mother’s tone. 

“Sorry. He just felt knocked down, I was trying to lighten the mood.” 

“I’m sure you were,” mrs Karnstein said, placing a not so comforting hand on Carmilla’s shoulder, “I’m sure you tried you’re very best, didn’t you?” 

Carmilla was frozen under her mother’s hand, unable to move or speak. 

“You answer me when you’re spoken to,” her mother said, grabbing a bunch of Carmilla's hair in her fist before pulling down harshly, jerking Carmilla's head back. “Stand up.” 

Carmilla immediately did as she was told, no questions asked, and turned to face her mother. 

“Apologise for your behaviour.” 

“I’m sorry,” Carmilla said weakly.

Mrs Karnstein got closer to Carmilla who backed up a little bit, unconsciously, “like you mean it.” 

There was a familiar fire in her voice, and Carmilla could already tell where this was headed. She looked into her mother’s eyes silently pleading to leave her alone, “I’m so sorry,” she said. It was louder this time, clearer. 

“Not good enough.” 

“What?” Carmilla involuntarily asked, immediately regretting it and backing up, “I’m sorry!” 

“Pathetic,” her mother pushed her back harshly then. 

Carmilla stumbled, but she still stood her ground, “I mean it, I’m sorry! What do you want?"

"A genuine apology. Your crude words hurt me, Carmilla. I wouldn't think it too much to ask for an apology, would you?"

"No," Carmilla mumbled, looking down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

Mrs Karnstein raised her hand, and Carmilla could have sworn she saw her mother smile ever so slightly when she flinched, before she put everything in her swing, striking Carmilla across the face.

"The audacity. To speak of your own mother like you just did…" She shook her head, "I simply do not understand why you are so insistent on being the disappointment, the downfall, of this family."

Carmilla wanted to move. She wanted to run. She wanted to leave this house and her mother forever and run back to Laura's comforting, safe, arms. But instead, she found herself completely unable to move. Entirely frozen in place.

Mrs Karnstein raised her hand again, only to lower it and sigh.

"Why do I even try anymore, you're clearly not invested in our family."

"No, I am!" Carmilla tried, frantically shaking her head, "I apologise for my behaviour earlier. I didn't mean any of it."

When Mrs Karnstein stepped closer to Carmilla she seemed to regain her ability to move, stepping back quickly. Her mother was insistent, however, and she only continued to step up to Carmilla every time she backed away.

"Stop acting like a child!" Was yelled out angrily. She grabbed Carmilla's arm harshly to stop her from backing away any further, yanking it to her so she was right up in her face.

"Let me go!" Carmilla struggled to get out of her mother's grip.

Mrs Karnstein took a deep breath, making sure she was very clear in her next few words.

"You will behave when you are in my house," she tightened her grip impossibly harder, making Carmilla yelp. "You will behave when the guests arrive tomorrow, I do not have time to babysit."

Carmilla nodded, "I will. Now let me go, you're hurting me." She was still trying to free herself from the vice-like grip her mother still had.

Mrs Karnstein raised her free hand, once again striking Carmilla and making her completely lose her footing. Falling backwards, Carmilla half turned around to catch herself, more than a little surprised to find the stairs right there. Falling too fast now to catch herself, she crashed head first with the stairs, her head perfectly meeting the corner of a step.

Before she had time to react, Mrs Karnstein was already sighing impatiently, having let go of Carmilla's arm when she had stumbled backwards.

"This is not a time for clumsiness, Carmilla. Get up, before you stain the wood."

Carmilla looked at her as if she was crazy, but when her mother's fiery eyes met her own she quickly looked away again and scrambled up the stairs. She all but ran for her room, shutting the door firmly behind her and quickly turning the lock. She let out a heavy breath, bringing a hand to temple when the throbbing pain seemed to set in for real. She barely touched her head before grimacing at looking at her now bloody palm.

"Shit."

She walked into her en suite bathroom, keeping her eyes closed. She was never ready to face the reality of the situation. Taking a breath, she forced herself to open her eyes never the less, peaking at her reflection. She leaned in closer once she had got past the initial look, inspecting the damage more closely. It wasn't too bad, she thought. There was an open cut just at her temple from where her face had taken the initial blow to the stairs, and it was bleeding quite heavily, a dark bruise quickly forming around it. However, the cut itself didn't seem to be too bad. Then again, she might be telling herself this to stop her from spiralling. She picked up a cloth, wetting it before she tried to dab it carefully to clean up. She flinched hard, however, on the first point of contact, and before she could even really try, she gave up.

Carmilla took a seat on the edge of the bathtub, hearing her phone beep from where it was still placed on her bed from before. It beeped again no more than 30 seconds later, and Carmilla could feel herself shaking before she even registered that she was crying, sobbing more like. She just realised she had abandoned Laura mid-discussion, which, all things considered, probably meant she was pretty worried. On top of that was the fact that Laura did currently actually have a very real reason to worry, but it was all beginning to be a little bit much for Carmilla and when the tears started falling she had no intention of stopping them.

On the other side of Carmilla's bedroom door stood Will, listening to her heavy sobs that he knew she was desperately trying to hide. He hesitated slightly before knocking lightly on Carmilla’s door. Carmilla immediately went completely silent before some shuffling was heard, and then total silence again.

“It’s just me,” he tried weakly. Carmilla didn’t say or do anything, at least not enough for Will to noticed, so he sighed and tried again, “Carmilla, please. Let me in.”

Suffice it to say this was not Will’s first time pleading outside Carmilla’s door. He never would have even known anything was amiss had he not accidentally walked in on Carmilla with her shirt half pulled over her head one time, some particularly dark bruises coloring Carmilla’s left side drawing his attention. He had heard all the yelling, of course, it was impossible not to. However, until that day, he had never known it to be anything but verbal. After that, he had made a silent vow never to leave her alone when things like this happened. Not if he could help it.

Will heard more shuffling suddenly, before the door was opened just barely enough that Carmilla could show her good side to Will.

“I’m okay,” she smiled sadly, actively avoiding Will’s gaze.

“Are you? That didn’t sound like something you’d come out of being okay.”

Carmilla sighed, “I’ll be okay, Will. I promise. Thanks though.”

“Do you want anything?” Will asked hopefully, desperately wanting to do something - anything - to help. “I can go out and get that ice cream you really like? Or I can get coffee from that place down the street, it’s not bad! Or I can get us a movie that we can watch and eat popcorn and junk and just forg-”

“No thanks,” Carmilla said coolly, her head hanging and her heart breaking because she knew what this all did to Will. Regardless, Will could not see her like this. He still had some kind of a relationship with his mother and she treated him semi-decently most of the time, she was not about to mess with that. She moved to close her door again when Will put his hand against it to stop her.

“Wait! Just- can you- should I-“ he sighed, “please let me do something, I know you’re not okay. I’m a big boy, I can handle whatever it is.”

Carmilla smiled slightly for only a brief second before her face returned to her neutral emotionless expression, “no.”

“I can call Laura for y-“

“No,” Carmilla repeated, looking him dead in the eye, before he could even finish his sentence. Will was obviously hurt by Carmilla’s harsh words, flinching at the way she spat out that ‘no’.

“Okay,” he said sadly, defeat evident in his voice as he turned away from Carmilla. He stopped after taking a couple of small steps away, turning slightly and catching Carmilla’s eye one last time before she closed the door, “I’m sorry.”

Carmilla watched him go on to his own room a bit further down the hall before retreating back to her own. The door clicked shut behind her, and she couldn't help but leaning back to it heavily. Her breathing was shaky, as were her legs, and she could feel the tears pressing on again. She slid down the door until she reached the floor where she pulled her legs up, hugging her knees tightly to her chest. She sat like this for a few moments before she put a hand over her mouth and let out a sob she was unable to keep in, silent tears running down her cheeks. Carmilla felt naïve. She felt stupid. She felt fooled. Why had she thought this was a good idea? She never should have come here, she should have listened to Laura _. Laura_ , she thought _. Shit._

Wiping at her eyes, Carmilla shook her head and took a deep breath. She crawled over to her bed, reaching for her phone before leaning back against the frame when she caught it, staying on the floor. There were 6 unread messages and 3 missed calls from Laura.

She read through all the texts before she climbed into bed, curling up into a ball when she first got there. She closed her eyes and put all her remaining energy into focusing on Laura. Thinking of Laura's smiling face, her goofy face, her loving face, her shining eyes, her laugh, even her pout… The way she looks at Carmilla when she tells her she loves her. Despite everything, through the tears, Carmilla was smiling.

Pulling up the last text, Carmilla started to type out a reply only to be interrupted by another incomming text.

Laura: I'm going to need you to tell me you're OK now.

Carmilla let out a small laugh then, while a few fresh tears escaped. She continued writing out her reply when Laura's goofy kissy face popped up on her screen, signalling Laura was calling.

Carmilla picked it up, but before she could say anything Laura was already speaking.

"Oh, thank God. Where have you been? Are you OK?"

"God, I miss you," Carmilla breathed out. "I miss your voice and your face and your smile and your laugh. I miss being able to hold you and kiss you and I love you so much."

"What's wrong?" Laura was quick to ask. It wasn't that she hadn't heard what Carmilla had said, and it wasn't that she didn't want to say all those things too. It was the fact that she heard Carmilla's shaky voice and her futile attempt to keep her crying at bay.

"Nothing," Carmilla cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes again, "nothing. I'm okay. I just really miss you."

Laura went silent for a moment, biting her lip as she was deep in thought before she simply said, "I'm coming to get you. Screw your mom."

"Laura," Carmilla sighed.

"Don't 'Laura' me. I'm on my way."

"I'm okay. Really," Carmilla tried to sound as convincing as possible, but she had to admit it didn't sound too good. "Don't come over here."

"Too late. I'm already in the car."

"Don't do that, I'm okay."

Laura let out a short, almost desperate, laugh then. "You keep saying that, but I hate it. I hate having to hear it," she all but spat the words out. Pausing, she took a deep breath in trying to steady herself and calm down a little bit, "especially when I know you're only saying it because you think I need to hear it."

Carmilla furrowed her brows, trying to think of say something comforting to say that didn't include the words 'I'm OK', but she came up empty. After a moment, she settled on, "I'm sorry."

"No," Laura sighed, "don't be sorry, just- I don't know. Look, I know you don't want me to come over there, but I cannot have you in that house." Well aware that she might be majorly overstepping some boundaries here, she tried to add positives. "I can't have you there because I need you here. With me. Keeping me warm." She heard Carmilla sigh through the phone again, so she guiltily added, "I need you safe."

Carmilla had gone completely silent. If she was being honest, she didn't know what to say now. She desperately wanted to immediately agree and tell Laura to hurry, because she so very much wanted to leave. Still, she was aware she had made a promise to her mother, and taking past experience into account, and the events of today, she wasn't sure she wanted to break a promise.

"Please," Laura pleaded on the other end of the phone. "Please let me do this, let me take care of you."

That was it. That was Carmilla's breaking point.

"Okay," she whispered.

"Give me an hour," Laura said confidently, "I will call you the moment I get there. Please, stay safe."

"Okay."

"And I love you too," Laura finally said. "So, so, much," before she hung up and sped up her driving ever so slightly.

\----------------------------------------------

Laura squinted at the sign on the gates, reading it one more time to confirm that this was, indeed, the right address. She had never been anywhere this fancy. She only shrugged, however, and drove through the open gates on the small road leading to the Karnstein mansion.

When she got close enough, she was able to make out the shape of Carmilla and Will on the front steps of the massive house. Will had an arm wrapped around Carmilla's shoulders, her head resting on his shoulder, and Laura smiled when she saw it. At least she hadn't been all alone.

After hanging up with Laura, Carmilla had briefly considered just leaving without a word to her mother or to Will, but she quickly changed her mind. She couldn't just leave Will, not like that. So, she had packed up the few things she had managed to unpack in the short time she had been there, before knocking on Will's door. When he answered, he had at first grimaced slightly at the sight of his sister, but only for a moment before he had brought her in for a hug. She then went on to explain the situation, and he immediately agreed that she should get out. He had then offered to wait outside with her, and Carmilla was more than happy to have him keep her company for a little while.

Will nudged Carmilla when he saw a car approaching, and she sighed before nodding and standing up. She went to walk over to Laura once she had parked, but Will reached out for her to hug her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Not your fault."

"Let her take care of you, okay?" Will pulled back and waved at Laura who had stepped out of the car but she hadn't gone over to them.

Carmilla nodded, "okay."

"And tell her thanks for me," he added nervously, "she's great."

Smiling shyly, Carmilla glanced over at Laura, "she really is."

Carmilla braced herself and turned around, making her way over to Laura. She wasn't sure how Laura might react, but she had a feeling.

"Oh my god," Laura breathed out. She reached for Carmilla the moment she was close enough, carefully taking Carmilla's face in her hand to closely inspect every inch of it. She was willing herself not to cry, this was not the time nor the place, but when she saw the cut and the dark bruise framing it she couldn't help the tears that did escape. Shaking her head she repeated, "oh my God."

"It looks worse than it is," Carmilla tried, smiling sadly as she wiped away the few fallen tears from Laura's face. "I'm okay."

"No, you're not," Laura countered. "Your face is bleeding."

"I know."

"And half of it is purple."

"I know," Carmilla said in a lack of a better response.

"God, Carmilla, I shouldn't have let you go."

Carmilla shrugged, "you're here now."

Laura only hugged Carmilla to her, feeling her melt against her as she did so. "Let's get you home."


End file.
